the text by bishop wades that i listed a few days ago came back to my mind in the middle of the retreat. his first stage of repentance included a renewed sense of watchfulness.
i took some time to meditate on the concept of watchfulness in my faith. am i watchful? am i awake?
i feel like i often live my life in a state of slumber where i am half-present in my circumstances. the monastic retreat gave me a chance to step away and see that slumber. many times, i choose to be in a fog, asleep, and unaware.
1 Peter 5:8-9 Be self-controlled and alert (watchful)(vigilant). Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the entire world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
Peter, along with James and John, knew more than anybody what it meant to be in a state of slumber and to let our Lord down. he fell asleep when Jesus asked him to keep watch and pray. where is Jesus asking me to keep watch and pray? how do i fall asleep?
Mark 14:37-38
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak.
finally, Paul charges us to wake up in light of understanding our present time.
Romans 13:11
And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.
i was reminded of the Jesus prayer from Bishop Wares' writing. this prayer is "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner". i changed this prayer to "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, wake me up!".
may the Lord Jesus Christ awaken his people
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