1950 years...

i just finished my first stretch of seminary studies and i have arrived at my 'reading week'. the first couple of months have been more than i could have imagined. the Lord has challenged my little view of Him and His actions throughout all of human history. the daily interactions with God's Word, notions of philosophy, interpretative tools, the characters of church history and aspects of inquiring after God have served as a means to disturb my faith and to challenge me to come before God and ask for discernment and understanding, especially in light of His gospel for this generation in light of the past generations.

however, i feel robbed.

that is the only way to express my feelings and thoughts right now.

i am going to express my thoughts as a stream of consciousness now so get ready. i feel like my faith has been limited (unintentionally or perhaps intentionally) by my focus only being on my 20th/21st century faith and the Bible alone. i have always been the first person to state that a small group should only study the Bible and that a study of a non-Biblical book is selling out. i have also rejected the role of tradition, experience and the church (combination of the prior two in some ways) in teaching me about God and His ways.

i feel robbed because i have started to interact with some of the great followers of Christ from over the years. i have been blessed to have the opportunity to read St. Augustine's writings and thoughts from early church fathers. i have also seen how many serious followers of Christ over the years have had ideas revealed to them that do not fit into my neat God picture.

however, why is that i have not encountered these people or ideas until now?
why did it take me coming to seminary to 'stumble' upon these great works and ideas?

part of it is because i didn't have time to read these works when i was out in the work world. i honestly have to say that i also pre-judged these works as boring and irrelavent.

those are the easy excuses / explanations.

how about this one? my protestant upbringing seems to have set up barriers to the 1950 years or so of church writings that followed the events of the book of Acts until now. my faith has always been Genesis - Acts (some Revelation but that is another story) and 1976 (year of birth) until now.

i have been blown away by how much St. Augustine's struggles are similar to mine. he lived in a completely different world but his writings in Confessions could be in a blog similar to this one. Augustine pursued God through Jesus Christ. Augustine struggled with sin. Augustine struggled with his family. Augustine lived and breathed God's Word. Augustine could have been a close friend if i lived in the 5th century. however, something was broken in my Christian learning that kept me from "meeting" Augustine.

i don't know exactly what those barriers were (or are) but i sense that part of my calling is to help others realize that these types of barriers exist AND that a rich set of encounters with God can be experienced through reading (with the Holy Spirit's discernment) these works. i still believe that the Bible is the #1 choice of study but not at the expense of disregarding all other works of people who are also striving to live a life worthy of the gospel.

in other words, we all need to open our eyes to the lives of the saints beyond Hebrews 11 and the end of Acts. who directly or indirectly shut door on the great cloud of witnesses? far be it that i should be someone who helps keep that door shut...