Confession and Crazy Story....

I have to make a public confession on this blog. It has been long overdue. Some of my closest friends already know this about me but I have been hiding it for years. Here it is... I enjoy pop music. I really do. In fact, I haven't fully embraced my fanaticism for it in years due to lack of money and exposure to new music.

My confession goes all the way back to the early 80s when I clearly remember listening to Billie Jean and Thriller and dancing around the room with my sister. Years later, Backstreet Boys and N' Sync made their mark. I am not going to reveal other friends who encouraged me to embrace the sounds of pop but they all know who they are (can't argue with the hits?)

Well, recently I stumbled upon a song that I can't get out of my head. It was listed as iTunes top song for weeks and I eventually bought it after hearing it on American Idol. The song is Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5.



Cambria and Avery love the song. In fact, they bounce around to it all the time.

Now here is the crazy story.

I took Cambria (4 yrs old) on a walk yesterday on the canal path near our Princeton apartment. We were mostly walking in silence with an intermittent comment about the color of the berries or the turtles on the trees in the canal. At one point, "Makes Me Wonder" started playing in my head and I began to walk at the same pace of the song.

A few seconds later, Cambria said from the stroller, "Hey Daddy, that sounds like Maroon 5 when you walk that way." I said, "What do you mean?" and she said "The ground sounds like Maroon 5 when you walk that way."

I have been blown away by funny comments from Cambria before but this one was a little more than I could handle. How did that happen? Are we really in tune that much to the same music that she could identify "Makes Me Wonder" from the rhythm of my walk???

Footprints in the sand?

You may be thinking that I am going to quote the poem about the footprints in the sand. I actually still like that poem and find myself encouraged by it at points in my life. The poem reminds me of a song that often sounds overplayed but every once and awhile I find enjoyment in listening to it.



This post is about a different set of footprints. Yesterday, Laurie and I went for a run together for the first time in our marriage. We have run on our own at various points but we have never run together. We ran on the sand in the Outer Banks right next to the ocean, right into the wind. It was a blast!

One of the challenges given to us at our wedding by the pastor was to find ways to have fun together, especially when we have kids. This sounds like an obvious idea but the stresses of raising children have made that simple challenge elusive.

Yesterday, I felt like I discovered a different part of my wife and about us together. Our "footprints in the sand" involves both of us running on the beach, encouraging each other not to give up. That is a good basis for a poem too, right?

Unexpected Gifts

I set my alarm this morning for 6 AM in order to get some time by myself for reading and prayer. My youngest daughter Avery must have read my mind because she beat me to the wake-up at 5:30 or so. I ended up having some time of silence and prayer on a walk all around the neighborhood. I was reminded that sometimes God gives unexpected gifts even when it appears that they were taken away. I probably prayed more for Avery during that walk than I have in all of 2007.

I was also reminded of the necessity of prayer this morning during my reading for Company of New Pastors. I read two questions in the PC(USA) study catechism about prayer. I experienced many aspects of the first of the two questions this morning.

Question 120. What is prayer?

Prayer means calling upon God whose Spirit is always present with us. In prayer we approach God with reverence, confidence, and humility. Prayer involves both addressing God in praise, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication, and listening for God's word within our hearts.

When we adore God, we are filled with wonder, love and praise before God's heavenly glory, not least when we find it hidden in the cross of Golgotha.

When confessing our guilt to God, we ask for forgiveness with humble and sorry hearts, remembering that God is gracious as well as holy.

When giving thanks to God, we acknowledge God's great goodness, rejoicing in God for all that is so wonderfully provided for us.

Finally, when calling upon God to hear our requests, we affirm that God draws near in every need and sorrow of life, and ask God to do so again.

Psalm 96:8-9 Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; bring an offering and come into his courts. Worship the Lord in holy splendor; tremble before him, all the earth.

Returning and Being Sent...

Everyone who knows me understands that I gravitate towards the dramatic. I have always loved being swept up into a story, especially when I sense that God is clearly at work in the story. I am clearly in one of those times right now.

10 years ago, I accepted a job offer to work at Microsoft for a summer. The summer of 1997 was full of adventure and challenges. I seemingly went to work for a software company but I was actually sent to start an intern Bible study and let God work miracles through me. I witnessed God show up in ways that still make my jaw drop when I consider them. That small group and all of the surrounding prayers and relationships showed me how powerful a prayerful group can impact the world for Jesus Christ. After that summer, I could have taken a job at Microsoft the following year but I opted to return to the east coast to work for an IT company in Virginia.

One of my favorite prayer locations that summer was Gasworks park on Lake Union. I often found myself standing by the water looking over the city of Seattle and praying for the city, that God would show up and change lives through his amazing grace. The picture above was taken recently at that exact prayer spot.

10 years later, I now have accepted a call to serve at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church to serve as an associate pastor for small groups. I talked with the chairperson of the search committee last night and we both expressed our wholehearted enthusiasm for where the Lord has brought us. I had no idea that my initial training as a small group leader with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at UVA followed by an incredible time with small groups at Frontline Ministries (McLean Bible Church) followed by a young adult community startup (WatersEdge @ Leesburg Community Church) and then Princeton Seminary would lead to this...

I am returning to Seattle! On the one hand, I can't believe it. On the other hand, it seems to fit exactly what God has been doing in my life all along. I am returning and being sent to Seattle at the same time.

Last weekend, Laurie and I visited the church for the weekend and we sensed a clear calling to serve with the congregation of Maple Valley Presbyterian Church. There are still steps to be completed in order for me to be officially installed as an associate pastor there but I am well on my way.

Wow! That is word that comes to mind. Followed by "Praise the Lord for his unending grace and guidance in my life. You, O Lord, have taken that which is broken and made it into your vessel for noble purposes. Use me as your instrument to serve others and bring everyone I encounter into contact with your amazing grace, your Son Jesus Christ, who knows what truly is best for us and then provides that grace to make it happen."

I will finish this entry with the Psalm that I read before the phone interview with Maple Valley a few weeks ago... I picked up my Bible and prayed through the following before they called.

Psalm 37:3-7
Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pature. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Missional (Small) Groups

I am about to embark on a 30 page writing adventure. In many ways, I have preparing to write this paper for over 15 years. I also see this project as the foundation for further reflections that will truly last a lifetime. The subject of the study is small group ministry. I have been involved with a zillion different small group ministries ever since I became a Christian during my freshman year in high school. I have seen all kinds of approaches and emphases. I can't say that I have seen one perfect model but I have seen God work in and through these ministries to change lives.

This paper is the intersection of my small group ministry experience and my studies in missional theology. I could go into a full description of my understanding of missional theology here but that would make this post longer than any human would care to read (it may already be that long). All that matters right now is, in my view, a missional church is one that does not exist for itself but is called together, equipped and sent out to the world to accomplish God's purposes together.

All of the small group literature that I read in the past semester pointed to small groups following the pattern of their churches, namely, existing for themselves. Small groups are often described as places for community where individuals become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. This is true. However, I will borrow a phrase from one of my professors George Hunsinger and say that this description is necessary but not sufficient. Small groups exist for more than community and personal growth.

To be fair, the small group books that I have read do include service or mission as a component of small groups. Over and over, however, I see two extremes with this assertion. On the one extreme, a group exists only to do a specific act of service such as repairing cars for people in the church. These groups lack the Christian practices that contribute to the group's spiritual formation. On the other extreme, a group exists for community and service/mission "spills over" from the group after the group arrives at a certain level of intimacy or growth. These groups rarely move beyond an internal focus and end up splitting up or staying a comfortable level.

I suggest that a group can seek the Lord's face in discovering its specific mission apart from these two extremes. I believe that the Lord calls individuals together in a local church to fulfill a specific mission in that local context. The church community provides relationships that encourage spiritual formation for that mission. In the midst of this, I believe the Lord can work through smaller groups of 8-12 individuals to allow them to discover their specific vocation in the local church and, therefore, in the church overall. Churches often talk about the individual's vocation or sense of calling and the entire church's mission/vision but this can and should occur also at the small group level.

In light of this, I propose that God uses small groups to provide the context for missional formation where the group grows into fully devoted followers of Christ not for themselves but for being used by God to fulfill its specific mission in the world as long as they are called together to serve.

Let's see if I can capture these ideas in a more rigorous manner as I embark on 30 pages of writing!

"The" Spirit

I have noticed a pattern in my readings that may already be known to others but I just recognized it. If a person wants to make a claim about the Christian faith apart from the restraints of Scripture or Christ himself, then they oftentimes refer to "The Spirit." An example sounds something like this, "The Spirit leads communities to consider truth differently than viewed previously."

On the other hand, I have observed that these types of claims are minimized when the reference to the Holy Spirit relates directly to its source and giver, namely, Jesus Christ. These references take the form of "His Spirit" or "the Spirit of Christ."

This may or may not happen 100% of the time but next time you hear or read someone refer to "The Spirit" as opposed to "His (Jesus') Spirit" then check to see how that reference functions in the person's claim about God, humanity and the relationships in the world.

In my view, I would rather hear someone talk about "His (Jesus') Spirit" as opposed to "The Spirit" that stands alone and apart from Jesus Christ.

Quiet Haircut?

I went to get a haircut this morning (yes, I have yet to figure out why my frequency of haircuts has increased as my amount of hair coverage has decreased) and I found myself wondering why it was so quiet.

I then realized that something was missing from the room:



The haircut place is moving locations and they already had moved the TVs to the new place. The room was eerily quiet and I pointed out the lack of noise to the person cutting my hair. She shared that she did miss the TVs and then she continued with an analysis of TVs in general. She noted how many TVs she sees throughout the day... at work, at the grocery store, at waiting areas in hospitals, at restaurants, everywhere.

We then talked about how quickly we look at TVs whenever they are present. Our response is almost instinctive. I rarely can keep my eyes off of a TV whenever it is on, especially if sports are on in the background. Earlier this morning, I turned on the TV and I witnessed my two daughters automatically look up at it. They have already mastered the response.

Have you ever been in the presence of a TV and NOT looked at it?

If not, then what does that reveal about the pull of TV in our lives?

The "Perfect" Parable

I am taking a class this semester that I have wanted to take my whole life - a class on the parables of Jesus. I like to tell stories and I have always been attracted to Jesus' parables. For most of my life, I have approached the parables with the assumption that I could figure them out like a puzzle. Oftentimes, there seems to be a "key" to the puzzle. One parable that has always eluded me is the parable of the "shrewed manager" in Luke 16:1-9 (or 13 depending on where you think the parable ends).

I will write more in the future about why I believe this could be considered the "perfect parable" but I will share one reason now. Try to assign roles to the different characters in the parable and you will quickly realize that a person cannot figure out this parable by taking that route. The rich man cannot be God because then you would have to say that God praises a dishonest manager. The manager cannot be Jesus because then you would have to say that Jesus uses dishonest methods to justify the means and, consequently, we should too.

What should we do with this parable? One thing is certain. We cannot sit down and attempt to unlock this parable by assigning roles and then figure out exactly what Jesus wants us to do or figure out more about God through these roles.

What have you "done" with this parable in the past?

If you can't answer this question easily, then that helps make my point that this could be the perfect parable.

Simply Connected

I played Halo 2 with some friends over XBox live for a few hours on Tuesday night. I was reminded of how much a few simple gifts in the past 7 years has changed everything. Video games systems bring limitless opportunities for contagious community. One of the many bits of wisdom that I have picked over the years is that community forms around shared memories. I would add that, for men, community flourishes around shared memories and nicknames that come out of those memories.

I haven't researched this statement but I believe that Jesus was one of the first recorded nickname-givers in history. Simon became the "rock" (not the people's champion), James and John became the "sons of thunder." God has been in the business of changing names from the beginning. In many ways, the newly given names point to who the persons will become as they fulfill God's calling on their lives.

That was a side comment on nicknames, now back back to memories. In April 1999, I received a Nintendo 64 from a friend in my small group and we started playing Mario Kart after every small group gathering. Quickly, the competition became intense. Every night, new memories were created because no two races were the same. Every time we played together was a unique event.

Years later, my wife bought me an XBox for my birthday and the game of choice was Halo. Once again, I hosted numerous gatherings of playing Halo with friends. The XBox took playing to the next level because my friends and I could connect boxes and get as many as 16 players together. The "Halo Fests" were some of the sweetest times of friends getting together. One aspect of the fun was the nicknames that came out of playing together. Each player creates a player profile with the name and quickly we began to change how we referred to one another. Gregg became "Maximus" and Jeff became "Julio" and etc..

Years later, and this brings us to the present time, I played Halo 2 over XBox live with friends from multiple chapters of my life. In fact, there were additional players who were invited in by other friends too. In one game was a friend from UVA (and also afterwards), a friend from a small group right out of college, a friend from a church after I got married, a neighbor from my old neighborhood in Virginia, another common friend, and a brother of my friend from UVA.

We couldn't have orchestrated that gathering even if we tried. The community continues on and the memories are being made, and yes, more nicknames are being given...

Early mornings

I can barely remember the days before the kids when I would set my alarm in order to wake up to read Scripture and pray. I still read Scripture and pray but I often have Dora the Explorer yelling in the background.

This morning, I was able to get some time alone at 6 AM. My "routine" reflects my love for reading Scripture and reflecting on what I hear. Recently, I have been reading from the lectionary along with others in the Company of New Pastors. I decided to start on my own this morning with a reading from Psalm 119. Psalm 119:45 says "I will walk about in freedom for I have sought out your precepts." I composed the following prayer after reading and rereading this verse.

Holy and Gracious Lord, you are the source of freedom and lover of my life, you have given me your precepts as a source of life, may you grant me the grace to follow them so that I may walk about in freedom, for your name's sake, Amen.

What does it look like and feel like to "walk about in freedom" throughout the day? I can honestly say that right now I am experiencing that reality.

I have heard a lot of criticism, whether direct or indirect, about "personal piety" during my time at Princeton Seminary. The comments often focus on "quiet times" just like the one that I described. To be fair, I agree with the criticism aimed at legalistic systems that lead to individuals feeling like they have performed their Christian duty. The criticism that I have heard, however, often focused on the act itself of "spending time with the Lord."

In my view, spending time with the Lord is life-giving and the best way to begin a day. I don't know about you but I would like to be a person who "walks about in freedom."

How do you respond when you hear say that they had a "quiet time" or "spend some time time with the Lord" this morning?

The Discipline of Silence

I carved out a few hours this morning to take a prayer walk near Lake Carnegie. I still remember the first time that I rode my bike out the canal path and arrived at the lake. I couldn't believe how close I lived to an open area of beauty. I have always been one to search for my "spots" and to go there for times of silence. Almost all of my favorite spots in the past were near bodies of water.

Today, I took some time to simply be quiet before God. I was reminded last night in reading Karl Barth's Church Dogmatics IV.3.2 part 1 of how humans evade God and do everything to avoid being encountered by his living Word. I opened my time of prayer asking God to encounter me and to open my heart up to his address. I needed to hear from God, especially after a jam-packed month of February that has featured more than I can begin to document here.

The time of silence was exactly what I needed. I toggled between moments of silence and simple prayers for my family, my future, and my openness to God's Word in my life. At one point, I was walking on the path and I realized that I was listening to my own breathing. How often do I actually slow down enough or remove distractions so that I end up focusing on my own breathing? Rarely. After today, I remembered why I need to carve out intentional times of silence.

Three words...

Tonight, I turned around and looked at Avery. She looked back at me and mouthed three sounds that sounded like "I love you." She then blew me a few kisses. I was absolutely floored. She has never done anything like that before. She has smiled, she has hugged me but she has never voiced "I love you."

I have probably told her 3940830948 times that I love her. For her to initiate the same words back to me was nothing short of pure love. I guess this is a small sample of what God must feel when we express our love back to him.

When is the last time you expressed your love for God? When is the last time you simply said "I love you" to God?

This reflection may not be what I talk about at seminary every day but the profound truth behind this experience outweighs all the volumes of books that I have read and more.

Image of God and Small Groups

I can't even begin to count the number of times I have heard this, "God is a God in community and therefore as humans created in God's image we are made for community." The line of thinking behind this statement is that God is one God in three persons who are eternally in relationship in what Christian's call the Trinity. The description of humans, male and female, created in the image of God has garnered a variety of interpretions. For many small group ministries, the theological foundation for small groups is the notion of "God in community" and therefore we are 'wired' for community.

I have to admit that I have harbored skepticism every time I have heard this interpretation of the image of God and humanity's desire for relationship. I haven't been able to put my finger on it until recently. My main skepticism stems from the fact that I do not believe that this goes far enough. Are small groups only supposed to be meant to be "in community" for themselves? I can already hear the quick response of small groups do service projects both inside and outside the church community. This is true but does that find its foundation in "God in community."

I believe that the Trinity is more than simply "God in community." My guess is that everyone would say that they agree with that statement but I want to draw out a specific idea. My understanding of the Trinity doesn't start with trying to diagram or mathematically posit the relationships between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit apart from what is revealed in Scripture. I have heard many try to liken the Trinity to water (one substance) with three forms (ice, water, steam) but one of the many problems with this approach is this view starts with human thoughts about physical entities as opposed to what is revealed in Scripture.

Starting with Scripture, the Triniatarian relationships are revealed in the Bible as the Father sending the Son and the Father and the Son sending the Holy Spirit and the relationships between them. What is the purpose of this sending? There are many reasons but the primary reason is for God to rescue humanity from sin (salvation) through Jesus Christ and then to establish his people as the church through the Holy Spirit. From there, the church is sent into the world to participate in God's ongoing mission of reconcilation until Christ comes again.

Small groups are gatherings of individuals by God for community but ALSO to be sent out in mission to whomever God puts them in contact. The foundation for this understanding isn't a desire for more service projects but the very nature of God as a God who sends and accomplishes his Word (which does not return void). This Word is Jesus Christ who embodies the reconciliation between humanity and God and we are gathered together as groups (small groups, local churches, the entire body of Christ) to accomplish this mission.

The next time you hear someone say that we are wired for relationships because we are created in the image of God and God is a "God in community," ask yourself or the speaker, "What do you see as the purpose of that community?" If the answer falls somewhere in the arena of fulfilling God's unique mission for that community in its specific time and place then I believe a fuller picture of the meaning of community has been considered.

Greatness

There are few great individuals in the world. I knew one and she was my Aunt Dorothy. Aunt "Dottie" was an inspiration to more people than I can begin to count. She died last night after a long struggle with a series of complications in her body. I just took an hour to type whatever came to my mind about this amazing woman. The one thing that I will share here is that she inspired me years ago to jump from my first job at a medium-sized consulting firm to a start-up company. She told a story about how much her, my Dad, and the rest of their siblings had to fight in Chinatown in NY City to flourish and provide for their families. I do remember her mentioning how they had to take risks to make things happen. I don't remember the exact words she said but I remember thinking "I also have that DNA inside of me and I have a responsibility to own up to that and take risks in my life." I was reminded today by reflecting on her life just how fast life goes and how little time I have to own up to what God has given me to do. Aunt Dottie owned up to her responsibilities and she will always inspire me to own up to mine.

Busted...

I have a habit of pointing out patterns that I find in presentations by speakers. This applies to preachers, teachers, seminar leaders, etc. I wrote my top list of repeated phrases a few months ago in a blog post. Phrases like "painting in broad strokes" and "unpack" made the list. In fact, I decided just for fun (my kind of ridiculous fun) to use those two phrases (back to back) during my chapel sermon last week.

My habit of pointing out things in sermons came back to bite me. Familiar words from Jesus in Mark 4:24 say "Consider carefully what you hear," he continued. "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more."

My measure - pointing out specifics in a sermon

Yesterday, I preached a sermon at my home church and I included what I thought was a throw-away line in the middle of the sermon. I said that salt is "what most of us relate to making food tasty or high cholesterol." I didn't think much of the line. I just wanted to put in a transition to the actual use of the term salt in Matthew 5.

A person pointed out to me later in the day that in fact salt causes high blood pressure not high cholesterol. My initial, internal defensive response was "is it that big of a deal that I said high cholesterol? is that the only thing you heard in the sermon?" Later on, after reading Mark 4:24, I reflected on the fact that my measure of pointing out specific parts of a sermon came back on me.

I am now starting to realize that all of my criticizing of things over the years in the church (poor leadership, specific sermon points, etc) will now be pointed at me as I enter full-time ministry. Writing a sermon, leading a church, doing anything as a full-time pastor is more difficult than I realized when I was a person who showed up on Sunday morning and had a lot of time to point out the problems without offering solutions...

Taunting...

One of my favorite moments during the day is when my cell phone rings and I get taunted by a friend. Oftentimes, a friend from Virginia will call to remind me that Virginia Tech is superior in some fashion to UVA. I have some other friends who like to remind me of how the New York Mets are not a real baseball team. I have others who like to simply take jabs at me. The list of friends who call me like this isn't large but I can count on numerous calls throughout the week.

Today, I received that type of phone call from a different person. This person happened to be from a potential church where I may be called to serve. He decided to call me in order to taunt me about the weather that we are experiencing here in Princeton, NJ (cold, icy, ridiculous) as opposed to his location. I never would have thought to put "phone taunting" on my list of desired aspects in a church but I now have that on my list!

Building a church...

Some updates have been made to my blog. I have been absent. I apparently haven't had any thoughts as I go... Of course, that is not true but I have been keeping them to myself. A lot is on the horizon as I seek out where God is leading me and my family.

Leadership from a different angle

1 Thessalonians is at the top of my list of favorite books in the Bible. I am biased because God gave me the greatest small group community in the history of small groups (Fairfax, VA - 1999-2000) and we studied that book during our time together.

My co-leader (Rob) and I saw clearly how Paul's relationship with the Thessalonians revealed to us how we should care for our small group. I kept a list of ideas along these lines that I now use for small group training. The requirements for church leadership are often derived from the listings in 1 Timothy and Titus but I would also recommend reading through 1 Thessalonians for a deep well of ideas for considering leaders in the church.

I came across 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12 during my morning lectionary reading and I ended up praying for the following prayer based on its content:

Lord, shape me into a leader of your church, I ask that you form me into a leader, proclaimer of your gospel, and caregiver that is like Paul as seen in 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12.
I ask that I consider those to whom you send me as brothers and sisters (v. 1),

that I dare to share the gospel in spite of strong opposition (v. 2),

that what I share not spring from error or impure motives or trickery (v. 3),

instead may I speak as one approved by God who has been entrusted with your announcement of God's reign, not trying to please people but God who tests my heart (v. 4),

that I may never use flattery or have secret greedy intentions (v. 5),

that I may never look for the praise of people (v. 6),

that I may be a gentle and caring shepherd who is like a mother to her children (v. 7),

that my love for my brothers and sisters would be so great that I would not only share the gospel but also my very life with them because they are so dear to me (v. 8),

that I may work so as not to be an excessive burden to anyone (v. 9),

that by God's grace I would be a holy, righteous, and blameless person among my brothers and sisters (v.10),

that I would deal with my brothers and sisters like a father deals with his own children, encouraging and comforting (vv. 11-12),

and that I would urge them to live lives worthy of God, the God revealed in Jesus Christ who calls each person into his kingdom and glory (v.12),

may I be this leader, encourager, and caregiver as seen in the apostle Paul as he follows his Lord and Savior, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ - who lives and reigns with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever, Amen.

Like old times...

I really enjoy being online and feeling connected to the world. I took that for granted during my 6 years of work in the information technology where I would be online all day long. I didn't realize how much being a parent and having school work would disrupt that connection.

I do have a 'job' here at the seminary that allows me to experience that again. I work as a lab assistant in a computer lab and I get paid for writing stuff like this. The main difference between this job and my past jobs is I get paid a LOT less for basically doing the same amount of work.

Either way, that doesn't take away the fact that I enjoy having multiple email accounts open, this blog site, other blogs, my facebook account, my myspace account, and instant message sessions all going at once.

I should probably return to reading and doing my school work...

Foggy Perception...

I have received a couple of questions regarding this rarely (if ever) updated blog. I often have ideas to post but the transition from my head to the blog has not been a habit.

Today, I offer a picture of my life in the past year. My second daughter has slept through the night 3-4 times in her first full year of life. Last night was one of the "highlights" of this magnificent run of waking up. I went to bed early (9 AM) due to a head cold and woke up around midnight when she woke up. I was unable to fall back asleep due to being wide awake but I eventually fell asleep near 2:15 AM. 20 minutes or so later, she woke up again. I was unable to go back to sleep until 5 or 5:30 AM... I slept for 3 hours. I had a total of 6 hours of sleep but there was a 5 hour up/down period in the middle.

I guess that is why I have been a little out of sorts this past year. I wonder what it will be like when I can experience the world through the eyes/mind of a full night's sleep. Until then, I will continue to exist with a foggy perception of reality...