Chinese New Year

Today is Chinese New Year - the year of the dog.

I was born in 1976 in the year of the Dragon. I am half-Chinese. My dad is first generation Chinese. My mom is a mixture of Welsh and German. I see myself as more a mixture of and tension between traditional Chinese and western American cultures.

I rarely speak about my mixed background in a serious manner. I was raised in a mostly caucasian, upper middle class town where there were only 2 Chinese individuals in my graduating high school class. I remember numerous instances of being mocked due to my Chinese background. I decided early on to avoid that side of my background in order to fit into my surroundings. My dad recently told me how he didn't force me to go to Chinese school so that I wouldn't be singled out as Chinese. For him, having me fit into my environment was important to him. My friends nicknamed me "one-third" because I was good at math, horrible at ping-pong, and never took karate (I took tai-kwon doe for a year but I didn't tell anybody). I avoided using chop-sticks until I went to college and I often intentionally opened my eyes larger in order to hide my chinese facial expressions.

One more story is that I remember making fun of my friend Danny Chang because he was Chinese in order to set myself apart from him and to further establish my caucasian identity. I was wrong and I wish that I could locate Danny and his family in order to ask for their forgiveness. That is what happens when a child is confused about his ethnic identity in an environment where the majority is caucasian. There are more stories than I can even begin to recount.

This blog entry will mark the beginning of more open sharing about my mixed ethnic background has shaped my view of God and the world.