initial thoughts on addiction

i was going to pour out some thoughts on addiction that i have gathered from my Addiction & Grace class when i realized that i had already typed up a bunch for the required class journal. here is my first entry that i wrote after reading some initial ideas about addiction in Gerald May's book titled Addiction & Grace:

The initial readings provided a set of very useful preliminary definitions associated with addiction and showed how the paradoxes of addiction are not puzzles that can solved by willpower. Gerald May’s definition of addiction as any compulsive, habitual behavior that limits freedom of human desire redirected my focus away from the object of the addiction to the resulting reduced level of freedom. May addressed the object in his definition of attachment as the process that enslaves desire and creates the state of addiction. The relationship of attachment to addiction opened my eyes to the process.

In addition, the five characteristics of addiction provided a fresh set of criteria for testing whether a behavior is an addiction. Tolerance and withdrawal are two characteristics that I already associated with addictions to alcohol and tobacco. The other three, self-deception, loss of willpower, and distortion of attention were new criteria for me. May’s descriptions resonated with the examples that I encountered with alcoholism.

The main insight that I gained from these initial descriptions is that the paradoxes of addiction clearly exclude a self-willed treatment and point the addicted individual to grace as the only true hope. The result of addictive behavior is shame and the response of the person is to either ignore that shame or to attempt to remedy the shame. May states that one paradox of an addiction is that the addiction enslaves a person with chains of his or her own making but, paradoxically, the chains are beyond that person’s control. Furthermore, the attempts to defeat the addiction feed pride which serves only to deepen the addictive mentality.

The last three characteristics of addiction for me displayed the internal battle that displays this paradox. First, the addicted individual deceives himself or herself due to a series of mixed motivations and contradictory desires. A result from an unclear direction is the addicted person ends up creating more chains of self-deception. Second, a person’s loss of willpower increases with each failed resolution of self-will. Again, the failed attempt to stop the behavior leads a greater sense of helplessness that in turn emboldens the addiction. Finally, the mind tricks associated with addiction capture our ability to love and create a greater gap between where we want to put our affections and where we end up putting them, namely, the addictive behavior. These three characteristics contribute to the first paradox of creating chains beyond a person’s control.

The other paradox is that addictions may be the only real means by which a person can learn to deeply appreciate grace. Grace is a term that many Christians cite when they need an answer to a complex problem. The reality, however, is that most people do not understand grace until they experience its work in their lives. Repeated descriptions of grace are not a substitute for the real encounter with it in real life.

In the case of addictions, person’s pride is attacked and that person is brought to their knees. More specifically, an addiction not only controls a person’s behavior but it also drains the energy that would normally be used to combat the addiction itself. In the case of grace, the person’s ability to accept grace is blocked. Eventually, a person will come to a place where he or she will realize that they are not in control and they not God. This realization exposes that the person is his or her own worst enemy. Grace is able to enter at that point of emptiness. The paradox is that addictions, though they can block grace, are the means by which a person becomes available to that same grace.