Sunday, November 28, 2004

teaching lessons...

why is it that i always feel the need to teach someone a lesson when i feel wronged?

an everyday example occurs in driving. i see this happen frequently (yes, i must admit that i want to do this but i honestly cannot recall if i have ever done it) - a person who is cut off on a highway decides to drive ahead of that person and then cut them off. why? in order to teach that person a lesson. what is the lesson? i see it as "i want to teach you how much it angered me that you cut me off!!!".

in a different arena, i tend to do this in relationships as well. someone will do something that frustrates me or angers me and my response is to immediately try to locate another time when i can do the same thing to them. my goal is to show that person what it feels like have that happen to them AND then (somehow) to have them understand my frustration.

does this ever work?

i haven't seen it work. instead, i never seem to be able to sit down to talk about why i acted that way. i am never able to relate my "payback" action with the original action. at the same time, i do not see how that person would learn anything if i actually was able to speak to them about why i acted the way i did.

this plays out in many ways. i label this as people trying play God by teaching lessons to others who have wronged us.

maybe that is why Jesus said "so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

the 'golden rule' is often overlooked because it is overused. or is it? do we actually live this out? especially, in the situations like driving or in our closest relationships... or do we try to go around this command in order to take control and 'teach' others...?

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