GTW

Years ago, my friends and I would talk about the "GTW" mindset where GTW stood for "Guaranteed To Win." In short, it became a life philosophy that was marked by an expectation for success in any and all situations.

Years later, I thought about the same three letters but this time they led me to "Get To Work." I am in that mindset right now. I have been observing great things at Maple Valley Presbyterian for the first 5 months of my time on staff. I have a lot of work to accomplish. I spent this morning in prayer over my areas of care and responsibility and I experienced a fresh vision of what I need to be doing.

Today, our staff took a day to be together in the mountains. We went snowshoeing for the afternoon in the pouring rain and I had the chance to grow closer to some special teammates at my church. There are many good challenges ahead and I am ready to bring the GTW philosophy and work ethic back to the table.

GTW

A Different Kingdom

Bill Gates gave his final keynote at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES). Newsweek provided this quote about Gates,

Now, of course, after 11 appearances—eight on the eve of the show's formal opening—the Bill Gates keynote is a fixture here. Someone was quoted last week as saying that he's like the pope of the industry—which would make his regular Sunday-night presentation the benediction that blesses the orgy of commerce to follow. But this year's appearance marks an ending. Gates is leaving his full-time work at Microsoft this summer, and 2008 will be the last time he kicks off CES.

The pope reference reminded me of what I thought the moment that I met Bill Gates in the summer of 1997. I was software test engineer intern with the Microsoft Exchange Server product group and I had the opportunity to meet Gates at his home on Lake Washington. I clearly remember him walking down a path toward us (the interns) and talking for 15 minutes about technology, the future of Microsoft and the future of the personal computer industry. I was in awe.

I couldn't help but think then that I was in the presence of greatness. In an odd way, I could somehow identify with the disciples who listened to Jesus by the Sea of Galilee as he talked with authority about the kingdom of God - a new in-breaking reality that would change everything.

Gates' teaching by Lake Washington had a parallel feel even though he was sharing about a completely different kind of kingdom.

What are the marks of a leader who can speak with authority on subjects that can truly change everything?

Who am I...?

I had the humbling privilege of leading Maple Valley Presbyterian Church in the Lord's Supper today during our worship services. I describe the experience as "humbling" because I was truly overwhelmed by the reality that I had the opportunity to announce the good news of Jesus Christ through the sacrament. Who am I to lead the people of God in such a holy moment?

This was only the second time that I led this sacrament. I was going to post some thoughts after my first experience in December but I failed to get my thoughts onto this blog. My experiences today were very similar to last month's.

I can't even begin to capture what I felt as I guided the congregation through the sacrament. I truly believe that the Lord Jesus encounters his people through the Lord's Supper beyond an intellectual remembering by the those who participate. I believe that just as the Holy Spirit works in and through the spoken words of sermon, the Holy Spirit works in and through the sacrament. A sermon is not merely a group of words that happen to have a meaning. Instead, the Holy Spirit reminds us what of what Jesus taught and forms us disciples for witness through the preached word. In a similar manner, I believe the Lord's Supper is not merely a ritual that helps us remember what Christ accomplished for us on the cross but that the actions, by the working of the Holy Spirit, shape Christ's disciples.

One of my mentor's demonstrated to me during my years in New Jersey how to lead the Lord's Supper with conviction. His conviction was rooted in Scripture, the gospel message, and reality that Christ was present in a significant way in that moment. My prayer was that I could follow that example and I sensed that God strengthened me to do that today.

Who am I to play that role? Thousands and thousands of leaders have led God's people in what I did today and I felt the weight of that privilege today. Thank God (literally) that he carried me along as I led others today.

In God's Presence

I meditated on Psalm 24 this morning. I have come back to this Psalm over and over through the Company of New Pastors daily readings that include a Psalm.

Psalm 24:3-4

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift his soul to an idol.

I have reflected on this passage many times. Who may come into the presence of the Lord Almighty? Only those who have a pure heart. Who is responsible for the pure heart? God or the person? This is a classic question.

David, in Psalm 51, asks God to create in him a pure heart. God creates the pure heart. David asks for the pure heart.

I have experienced chapters of my life when I have felt close to God. I have experienced joy and freedom. I have been creative for him. I have been open to his leading.

In those moments, I could see - both physically and spiritually. In particular, the colors of the leaves seemed more green, red, orange, yellow, whatever. The individuals with whom God put me in contact seemed more real, more alive, more like who they truly are - God's creation who he loves more than I can imagine, no matter what they've done.

The song "Everything Glorious" by David Crowder is playing in the background. These reflections from Psalm 24 and that song lead me 2 Corinthians 3:17-18. "Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is, freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, and are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

That's my desire, my prayer, my true need - to have a pure heart, to have freedom, to be transformed into God's likeness with ever-increasing glory...

God Almighty, Heavenly Father, I praise you for your holiness that requires purity in your presence. I praise you for your Son who made the way for me to come into your presence with freedom, confidence, and boldness. Create in me a pure heart, only you can do it. I want to know you. I want to live in freedom. I want to be transformed for your purposes. I want to experience the joy of being known by you and knowing you. I love you. For your name's sake. Amen.

2008 - Closing the Gap

I talked with a close friend yesterday about the good, the bad, and the ugly of 2007. We then turned our attention toward 2008 in light of what happened in 2007. One common theme was our desire to increase what I call "closing the gap."

The "gap" is the difference between what I need and want to do every day, week, month, year, forever and what I actually do. I always envision what I should be doing but actually following through on those ideas is a discipline that needs my attention and energy. The key word is energy.

Like all New Year's days, I set goals for the upcoming year. In 2008, I want to intentionally work on taking action in energy-creating activities as opposed to energy-draining activities so that I can have more energy to close the gap in all of the different aspects of my life.

Let's see what happens...

Two songs... Two overlapping worlds...

Yesterday, I was finishing a run when I heard two songs back-to-back on my iPod. The first song is one that has always resonated in my imagination - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. This song has always captured my attention. Here are the lyrics:

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's f*%@ed up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

The next song that came on is one of my recent favorites by the David Crowder Band -"Everything Glorious." Here are the lyrics:

The day is brighter here with You
The night is lighter than its hue
Would lead me to believe
Which leads me to believe

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

My eyes are small but they have seen
the beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
there's light enough to see that

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory
You are glorious You are glorious
From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious
Which leads me to believe
why I can believe that


You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious.
You are glorious. You are glorious.

Two songs... Two different worlds. In many ways, I feel the pull between the two. Sometimes I feel like I am walking in this world alone (even though I am surrounded by close family, friends and a wonderful church family) and other times I feel like God is making everything glorious in and through me (especially in those same relationships).

The apostle Paul often uses the image of taking off the old and putting on the new for the Christian life. The reality in this life is that followers of Christ will never completely feel like they have taken off the old and put on the new but they do get a foretaste of that fully changed life. The old and new worlds overlap.

One of my prayers for 2008 is that it will be a year that includes a movement toward living a life worthy of the calling God has made on my life and that I will identify more with Crowder's song as opposed to Green Day's song (though I still love both of them).

What songs capture your imagination as you look back on 2007 and look toward 2008???

Flow of Criticism?

At various points in my life, I have realized that I am a very critical person. I am constantly assessing situations, systems, organizations, leadership, etc. and then forming my opinion.

Recently, I have recognized a clear pattern in my criticism. The specific aspects that I criticize are often my exact weaknesses. I have realized that the things that bother me the most about other people are the things that bother me the most about myself.

What should I do with this realization? One response is to use this pattern to help me identify areas that I need to turn over to the Lord in prayer and to ask my closest friends for help in identifying when I continue these patterns. I can choose to ignore this pattern of criticism equaling self-criticism or embrace the opportunity for change.

In 2008, one of my goals is to move toward guarding my tongue regarding criticism for others and instead point the finger on myself.

My Timing (but not yours)

I am increasingly becoming aware of a pattern of communication and yesterday I was the one who was responsible for it. More and more, I am seeing how cell phone calls are made mostly when the caller is en route and has a few minutes (or more) to make the call. The receiving person may or may not be available at that time.

Yesterday, I called a friend on the way home from the church. My "commute" is a mere 5-10 minutes depending on the number of green lights. I wanted to check in briefly with my friend but I didn't want to open a long conversation because I knew that my family was waiting for me at home.

Do you see the issue here? I mentioned "me" or "I" in that description of the call. I didn't let my friend know ahead of time that I was calling. I was calling him on my own terms. In fact, the conversation probably left him frustrated because I basically asked him a few quick questions and then gave him an update on life and then cut him off because I had arrived home.

I have been on both ends of this type of conversation.

How many of your recent cell phone conversations have ended with, "I've gotta go because I just arrived at my destination"?

My guess is that a lot of them have... Is there something wrong with this picture?

Picture of the Church?

I was driving around a few nights ago with my family looking at Christmas lights. We saw a well-decorated community and we turned onto the street leading toward the lights. As we turned, I noticed right away that the community was a gated community and I was locked out!

I was baffled...

Why would a gated community with 9-10 homes (that is all that were in the community!) decorate their homes to the extent that they did? Do they really believe that they are providing "holiday cheer" just for themselves? My thoughts wandered to the types of conversations they must be having inside their community...

"Hey, great lights John, I really enjoy them. I put my lights so that you and our street could enjoy them. I'm glad that we are not like other communities that have tons of cars coming through to look at our lights. We get to look at each other's lights and reindeer and santa claus figures and enjoy them. Maybe later this week, we can sing Christmas carols to ourselves and walk down the street. Isn't that going to be a blast?"

In many ways, I've witnessed some churches follow the same patterns in a different arena. We put on our best "show" and "lights" but oftentimes only think about ourselves and who is inside our 'community'.

My prayer and goal is that I would be part of a church that doesn't exist like that gated community that I saw the other night.

I wonder how many people visit a worship service or drive by churches and feel baffled like I did the other night?

Worth reading...

This book brings together many of the themes and specific ideas that I didn't "get" in seminary. I found myself thinking, "Why didn't we cover this?" over and over and over.

Fee and Stuart demonstrate the necessity of both exegesis and hermeneutics in bringing the Bible to bear on life today. They provide numerous reminders of why every Bible reader/interpreter needs to ask what the text says first, then what the text means (in its original setting) and then and only then what the text means for us today.

If you feel confused (as many do) about what to do when you open up your Bible, then read this book and you will be better equipped to let God speak to you (and your church) through the Bible.

More specifically, Gordan and Fee engage each part of Scripture and provide a framework and examples of exegesis and hermeneutics for each. Once again, I found myself thinking, "Why didn't my seminary professors find it important to talk plainly about these tools for interpretation?"

In many ways, my seminary Biblical studies classes focused on either of two extremes. 1. The very detailed Greek or Hebrew text critical issues and the scholarship behind the decisions and decision-making process.
2. The very high level social issues that surround the controversial passages.

The day-to-day reading and interpreting of Scripture for the life of the church and the followers of Christ who happen to be reading the Bible were not covered...

SO, this book is worth reading...

Building confidence

I finally put together our foosball table after months of having it sit (in pieces) in my garage. Laurie's parents gave us their foosball table and I have been lazy.

Cambria loves playing foosball and she wants to play 3049830489083509 times per day. The game can be dangerous for her because the handles of the table are at her head level. Every time I move the players, I have to make sure that I do not hit her face.

In spite of that challenge, I am enjoying playing with her more every time because I am seeing her confidence grow. She is learning how to hit the ball and stop the ball so that she can control the game. She is far from being a real player but I can see how each small action builds her confidence in playing.

I am avid foosball player. I have many many many memories of playing at church during middle school and high school and at camps throughout that time. I am looking forward to the day that Cambria can provide some real competition and we start keeping a family scoreboard!

Until then, anyone want to come over to play some foosball?

Just when you thought...

Maybe it is because I am reading Karl Barth again...
Maybe it is because it is the Christmas season...
Maybe it is because Jesus is getting my attention...

but I am remembering what it means to be 'Christocentric' in my understanding of God and the world. Christocentric meaning Christ-centered, meaning Christ is the beginning and the end (and everything in between) for knowing God and the knowing my role in the world that God created and rules.

I was asked today by a small group leader for a recommendation for a study on the life and teachings of the apostle Paul. I was reading through Galatians and I landed on v. 3:13 - Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."

I remembered the background on this verse and God revealed a new insight to me that I had never considered. The background is Deuteronomy 21:23 and the assertion in the law of Israel that "anyone hung on a tree is under God's curse."

Saul (before Paul) lived his whole life with this assumption in mind. This assumption was apart from the revelation of God in Jesus Christ. Apart from Christ, his worldview was shaped by the assumption that anyone who was hung on a tree was under God's curse. The idea of God's anointed one (Messiah) fitting that description was a scandal!

BUT, just when he thought that he had God's ways all figured out, the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ changed this specific assumption upside down and then turned Saul's world upside down based on God's revelation of himself in Jesus Christ.

Apart from Christ (and his turning this curse upside down), Saul would have had no reason to question his understanding of God. Saul could have kept his interpretation of Deuteronomy 21:23 but he changed his view of God in light (revelation) of the person and work of Jesus Christ.

This meditation challenges me to consider the conceptions of God that I have that stand apart from Jesus Christ and need to be reworked in light of Christ.

What "just when you thought..." assumptions do I have that need to be changed (repent = change of the mind)?

In his discussion of the doctrine of election, Barth reminded me to avoid relying on human experience or abstract conceptions as my starting point for knowing God when he says on p. 35 of II/2

It is only natural that in spite of all the accompanying good intentions and moments of truth, such statements and decisions are endangered by their doubtful and possibly erroneous starting-point. It is only natural that they can themselves become a danger, perhaps inevitably so. We must at this point recall the basic rule of all Church dogmatics: that no single item of Christian doctrine is legitimately grounded, or rightly developed or expounded, unless it can of itself be understood and explained as a part of the responsibility laid upon the hearing and teaching Church towards the self-revelation of God attested in Holy Scripture."

I'm looking forward to some more "just when you thought..." moments.

Upside Down

Everything is upside down from a few months ago. I lived on the East Coast a few months ago, now I live on the West Coast. I cheered for a team that I thought was heading to the playoffs (the Mets) a few months ago, now I still do not know how they failed to make it. I was an "everyday" person in the church without any expectations a few months ago, now I feel the need to be "on" all the time.

One other area is upside down - my reading life. In seminary, I found myself tired after a long day of theological reading and I drifted toward "practical" books in the evening - leadership, small group ministry, world movements, culture. Now, I swim in real life situations all day as a small groups pastor and I drift toward deep theological reading in the evening.

In the past few days, I returned to a theologian who challenged me during my time at Princeton - Karl Barth. I do not agree with all of Barth's theological starting points but I definitely agree with how he starts (and stays) with Jesus Christ in all of his theological reflections. I am reminded over and over (over and over and over) of God's fulfilled promises in Christ through reading Barth.

I am verbose and I oftentimes use more words than necessary to explain a concept or my feelings. Barth definitely fits that description and I actually enjoy reading his long long long descriptions and insights.

One of my closest friends at seminary challenged me to do an independent study on Barth in order for us to learn how to read him and be able to return to him in future chapters of life. I am in a new chapter of life and I feel like I am still able to read and understand Barth.

Everything is upside down but that is not such a bad thing...

sometimes...

Sometimes I put on the shuffle option on my ipod and the songs just fall into place.

That happened tonight...

I went for a short drive to return some items the grocery store and library. I hit the shuffle option and then 4-5 songs hit me right where I was - November 24th, 2007 at 4:45 PM...

That time will never come again.

Life is moving fast and I need reminders of just how much I overlook God's grace that comes in more ways than I perceive.

Today, 4-5 songs that basically said, "Jeff, relax and enjoy life a little" brought me back to a state of joy and gratitude.

Shuffle away and see what happens...

Deep as a Puddle?

Sometimes, I feel like I am a deep person. At other times, I feel like I just float through life. I do know that after my 3 year seminary experience, I have the potential to go deep on a variety of fronts.

Years ago, I sat down with a friend at Dunkin Donuts in Leesburg, Virginia and we talked about the purpose of the church. We witnessed how our church operated with a "come and see" approach with the goal of getting as many people into the building as possible on a Sunday morning. The working assumption was that a person would move from "trying out" a worship service to possibly investigating Christianity to possibly becoming a Christian and then over years and years of classes and sermons would then become a "strong" Christian who would serve in the church (and maybe outside the walls of the church).

We embodied discontent that night at Dunkin Donuts.

That friend introduced me to a few books that challenged my understanding of the church and one year later I found myself at Princeton seminary asking the same questions. I found some answers in my studies of missional theology. The church does not exist merely for itself, the church is called together by Jesus Christ and sent to engage the world with the gospel and to invite others into God's "sphere of rule." Being a Christian, means being a witness to Christ in all aspects of life all the time. I am convinced more than ever that the gospel is shared not merely by words (logical propositions that require intellectual agreement) but by deeds done in Christ's Spirit's power AND explanatory words. Christ is at work through his people.

I learned these patterns. I can envision how they can play out in the local church.

BUT, I still embody discontent right now (and there are no Dunkin Donuts out here near Seattle).

Why?

because I heard a description of the church a few days ago that was a deep as a puddle...

Puddles are not deep...

I already was tempted to give up on the local church and I am just getting started. Don't worry, I am not even close to giving up. In fact, I am more motivated than ever to seek the Lord's face for direction on how I can be faithful with my responsibilities as a small groups pastor so that I can enable my local church to engage our Internet-driven culture with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

If the guy who was with me at Dunkin Donuts (the donut) is reading this, then hear a word of thanks for some great discussions that still ring out in my soul today.

Empty

I remembered tonight why I need to run (and run often!). My last jog was probably 2 weeks ago. The past 1 1/2 weeks included preparing/preaching a sermon, teaching the final two classes on studying scripture, fighting a persistent cough/head cold and a zillion other responsibilities (felt that way).

The first thing to go in times of stress is exercise. I remembered tonight that I should carve out space for exercise as soon as those stressful times comes. I ran for a short 2-3 mile run and now I feel like a new person.

I do not think about anything when I run. I simply run. My brain is empty. I believe that my brain rests during times of exercise. My mind is always on the "go" and I need those times.

Somewhere...

Every so often, I come across a song that simply captures what my soul is singing in that exact moment. I heard the song "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane multiple times on the radio a few years ago but I never purchased the song. I heard the song again a few days ago and then looked it up.

Today, I took a walk near the Cedar River in my new town of Maple Valley, WA. In many ways, I was built for this town because there are 309483409834089 trails. I needed to step away from the details of church ministry and simply pray and be still before the Lord. I took a walk and I heard this song in the back of my mind, especially as I stood on a bridge and observed the clear water rush over the rocks below.

Here are the lyrics to the song... This is me. Period.

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land,
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.
I felt the earth beneath my feet,
Sat by the river and it made me complete.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

I came across a fallen tree,
I felt the branches; are they looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.
SO if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know.

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So, tell me when you gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.
SO if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, so why don't we go,

Hmmm yeahh,

This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know.

High point (in terms of sports)

This graph does not reveal any data that pertains to this topic. I just needed a graph to show that I am in a unique place as a sports fan. I have rarely been on the winning side of any sports team. Every year, I get excited about the possibilities and then come crashing down as the year progresses. I continue to work on preventing sports from influencing my outlook on life but I would lie if I said that I have purged myself of all such influences.

Today, I can say that after two horrible starts to my favorite football teams, they both are on a roll. UVA lost to Wyoming (who?) and then they reeled off 7 straight wins. In a similar way, the NY Giants (G-MEN!) lost to Dallas and Green Bay and then they have reeled of 5 wins in a row. They are both on the way up!

Why did I blog about this relatively insignificant development? I find myself blogging when my teams implode but I never capture the moment when they are on the way up. Today, I can claim that they are on the way up. Sure, they will lose and lose badly in the near future but I can claim victory today and that is all I am concerned about right now.

On another note, I have started to rediscover the joy of reading significant books by authors who have something more to offer than a recent trend. I should have some deeper thoughts in the coming days but I had to capture this moment.

Two choices

I am not a Rockies fan and this entry has nothing to do with baseball. The only baseball reference is to the manager of the Rockies who said yesterday that "in life, you are either humbled or you will be humbled."

I learned that lesson today.

I did not feel prideful after my sermon on Sunday but I did feel like I was feeling more at home at MVPC. Today, I had a difficult time pulling together the materials for my inductive Bible study class and I ended up tanking the class. I attempted to make copies of my materials and I created an insurmountable challenge (organizing and punching holes in 390483049830483048 pieces of paper). I barely had everything ready for the class and I was very flustered for most of the class.

The class participants (~40) followed my teaching for the most part and participated in all of the activities. I did not feel like I gave my best and I owe them more than I provided tonight.

Clint Hurdle, the Rockies manager, said it best, "You are humbled or you will be humbled soon."

Lost in Music

I am posting twice in a day because I feel like it. :)

I am experiencing something that I haven't experienced in a long time. I am sitting down and getting lost in music. I have had an intense week and I am taking a break to do something that I enjoy. Years ago, a close friend asked me what I enjoyed doing the most. In other words, if I had free time, then how I would use it for enjoyment. I answered that I would turn up the music loud and get lost in a song (or two or 10 or more).

I don't know how or why I became "that guy" who stopped listening to music after I had kids but I have become that person. Every once and awhile though, I have a moment of rediscovery and I am moved almost to tears when I consider how much music can take me beyond myself. Of course, songs that help me focus on Jesus Christ, my wife, and the greater things of life are the ones that move me most.

I miss what I am experiencing what I am breathing in right now. Music...