Thoughts As I Go

2011 Reading Plan

2012-01-13T14:00:00.001-05:00

I conducted a life experiment in 2011. Knowing that my brain wanders to new ideas without an intentional plan, I created an aggressive reading plan with intent of only reading those books.

Toward the end of 2010, I asked myself, "What books do I want to read before I die?"

I started to list the books and I realized that I would not make any significant progress with the list if I did not create a plan. I recognized that if I did not "tell my reading time where to go" then I would end up with a stack of partially read books. A majority of those books would be ones that caught my attention on any given day.

Here was the plan:

Find a list of recommended reading from authors, teachers, pastors, leaders that I respect
Create a set of categories
Create an initial list for the first year with books from the different categories ("balanced diet of reading")
Categories: Leadership, Theology, Spiritual Formation, Relationships (Marriage, Parenting), Preaching, Engaging Culture, Church History, Biographies and Fiction
Create a schedule that would allow for me to only read those books.
Commit to reading according to the schedule and ONLY pick up another book IF I was ahead of schedule
Commit to reminding myself that I will not achieve my goal of reading the "before I die" list of books if I pick up other books that randomly catch my attention

I went to work in 2011. I stayed with the plan for 75% of the year.

Below are the books that I read in 2011 in this order with the authors and categories...

2011 Reading Plan Books:

Strengthsfinders 2.0 by Tom Rath [Leadership]
Strength-Based Leadership by Tom Rath and Barry Conchie [Leadership]
1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan [Relationships - Parenting]
A Simple Way to Pray by Martin Luther [Spiritual Formation]
The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen [Spiritual Formation]
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend [Relationships]
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp [Relationships - Parenting]
Jesus of Nazareth by Pope Benedict XVI [Theology]
Leadership and Self-Deception by Arbinger Institute [Leadership]
Faith and Justification by G.C. Berkouwer [Theology]
Pensees by Blaise Pascal [Church History]
Between Two Worlds by John Stott [Preaching]
Covenant Marriage by Gary Chapman [Relationships - Marriage]
The Descent of the Dove by Charles Williams [Church History]
Bradshaw On: The Family by John Bradshaw [Relationships]

Additional Books

The Pastor by Eugene Peterson [Leadership]
To Be Told by Dan Allender [Spiritual Formation] - Story Workshop
Primal by Mark Batterson [Spiritual Formation] - NHPC class
Epic by John Eldredge [Spiritual Formation]
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell [Engaging Culture]
Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham [Theology] - NHPC class
Walking With God by John Eldredge [Spiritual Formation] - MAN-era study
Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III [Spiritual Formation] - MAN-era study

I did not stay with the plan after mid-September. I am re-committing to this approach in 2012.

What approaches do you use to focus your reading?

Do you know what books that you would like to read before you die?

Are you reading them now?

Reset - Thoughts as I go...

2011-12-30T20:01:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in over a year. My last blog post focused on living my life with margin and not "running on empty." A LOT has happened since November 2010.

A mentor shared with me a few years ago that I should anticipate change at every turn. The flip-side of his counsel is that I should not take stability for granted. I have to admit that I had started to take stability for granted after moving from Maple Valley, WA to Mechanicsville, VA and starting with New Hanover Presbyterian Church. November 2010 seems like a long time ago.

I am writing tonight because I have been renewed by a week of rest with my family. I have experienced the value of Sabbath rest, especially the truth that God is ultimately at work and he does not require my attention to every detail of his church. God has given me the gift of rest. He also has given me the opportunity to step back and reset.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. I always have enjoyed the final day of the year because I have always taken some time to review my journal and review my year. I look forward to doing this tonight and tomorrow.

2011 has been a challenging year and a year of intense growth with new experiences. I would not have written the script the way that it has unfolded. I would not, however, change who I have become in/through the journey.

I do not know if blogging will make a return for me in 2012. I do know that my personal journal has been a refuge for me because I can reflect on Scripture, write down my thoughts/feelings/experiences, record prayers and see God's faithfulness. Blogging can provide similar opportunities.

This blog has been a place for me to share my "thoughts as I go" since I started at Princeton Theological Seminary in 2004. I blogged a lot during seminary as I wrestled with the truths of God and my sense of call. Perhaps, this is the time again to begin sharing my "thoughts as I go" as I reset...

Leading On Empty - resetting my rhythm

2010-11-19T21:33:00.000-05:00

The Lead Pastor and friend at my current church gave me this book during my initial weeks at New Hanover Presbyterian Church. He saw my intensity and shared the following words of life with me - "Pace yourself."

I remember hearing a sermon years ago by John Piper that emphasized having a marathon-mindset to the Christian life instead of a sprint mindset. One outcome of my reflections from that sermon was to alter my workouts. I transitioned them from a sprint mindset to a distance mindset. I recognized that even my swimming and running workouts revealed my sprint approach to life. I have always struggled with over-extending myself through strong sprints.

Last night, I finished the book Running On Empty and I received a fresh perspective on my life through this book. The author did not share any awe-inspiring insights but he effectively pointed me toward what I need to consider on a daily, weekly, ongoing basis.

Here are some thoughts that I recorded from the book after finishing it:

1. Serotonin and adrenaline

Serotonin is a chemical like an endorphin. It’s a natural, feel-good hormone. It replenishes during times of rest and then fuels you while are working. If, however, you continue to drive yourself without replenishing, your store of serotonin will be depleted. As a substitute, your body will be proceed to replace the serotonin with adrenaline. The problem is that adrenaline is designed for emergency use only. It’s like those doors in a restaurant that when opened cause an alarm to sound. Our problem, though, is that we use these pathways designed for emergency only, but no alarm sounds. Not at first, anyway. Should you continue to run on adrenaline, it will destroy your system. You will burn out sooner on the inside than you’re able to see on the outside. The fuel of adrenaline that keeps your engines running in the beginning will turn on you and destroy you in the end.

pp. 25-26

2. Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul. Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first. p. 70

3. 85% of what I do, anyone can do. 10% of what I do, someone with training should be able to accomplish. 5% of what I do, only I can do.

4. “Low Fuel” light indicators – difficulty with decision making, increasing allures, desire for isolation.

5. Drink water before you get thirsty – rest before you get tired – overall, proactively fill before you get drained.

6. Lessons to Consider

Do not overproduce
Steward your energy
Rest well, my friend – consider “sleeping in by going to bed earlier”
Exercise your way to recovery
Eat your way to a good life
Recharge daily
Fight for your family

7. Four Possible Life Courses

Life of Reaction
Life of Conformity
Life of Independence
Life of Intentionality

8. The Intentional Life – identify my “gauges” and assess often

The Story

2010-10-14T11:39:00.002-04:00

A simple scan of Facebook status updates shows that the world was gripped by the story of the rescue of the miners in Chile. I listened to a news report this morning that captured the celebratory response of a nation and the world.

Here are some images that caught my attention:

69 days, $20 million...
loud cheering as each miner appeared and was declared safe
the daughter of the oldest miner said, "This is like a rebirth"
tears of joy at the appearance of family members who were lost in the mine
the word "rescue" repeated over and over

I was brought to tears because my soul resonated with the story of those who were seemingly gone but then were rescued. My heart felt what it would be have been like to lose a close family member or friend but then to have them back again - restored to me.

I couldn't help but ask myself, "Why did this story more than any other seem to capture the attention and hearts of the world?"

A rescue story captures our attention because I believe we all know deep down in our hearts that we need to be rescued. The reality is that we all need help even though we may convince ourselves that we do not need anybody else. We all need to be rescued.

If there is a longing in us for rescue, then who is the one who rescues us?

The celebration in Chile as each miner was rescued immediately led my mind Jesus' words in Luke 15:1-7 -

Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them." Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

I see with clearer eyes this morning why the story of the Bible invites us into a story of rescue. The Bible paints a picture of someone who does not leave those in need of rescue to be alone, to die, to remain helpless.

Instead, God stepped (literally) into our world, put on flesh and rescued us from which we could not rescue ourselves - our separation from God, our separation from others, our separation even from ourselves.

Jesus is the one who leaves the 99 sheep for the 1 lost sheep.

Jesus is the one who rescues us.

Jesus shows us that God cares, God rescues, God restores relationships (with God, with others, even with ourselves as we discover our true selves in him).

I rejoice at the rescue of the 33 miners!

I also rejoice because this story (re)points me to the big God story and brings the same tears of joy that can only come a rescue as monumental as the one God undertook for me (and the world).

The Radical Disciple - Stott

2010-09-30T12:01:00.000-04:00

I just finished a book titled "The Radical Disciple" by John Stott. I had seen this on multiple reading lists of individuals I respect so I picked it up. I needed a fresh look at discipleship and Stott provided one.

I have not made it a practice of summarizing books on my blog in the past but I am going to write up a few thoughts here. My goal is to capture some of the key thoughts that impacted me.

Stott shares that "the purpose of this book is to consider eight characteristics of Christian discipleship that are often neglected and yet deserve to be taken seriously."

Let's take a look at the first characteristic...

Characteristic #1 - Nonconformity
Followers of Christ are called to be different. They are called to engage the world through love and service but not at the expense of losing their identity as followers of Jesus. Stott shares that Christians are called to engagement without compromise where "escapism and conformism are thus both forbidden" (p. 17)

He lists 4 trends that need to be addressed (pluralism, materialism, relativism, narcissism) and he summarizes the responses as, "Over against the challenge of pluralism, we are to be a community of truth, standing up for the uniqueness of Jesus Christ. Over against the challenge of materialism, we are to be a community of simplicity and pilgrimage. Over against the challenge of relativism, we are to be a community of obedience. Over against the challenge of narcissism, we are to be a community of love." (pp. 26-27)

I was challenged by all 4 but I was mostly struck by the challenge of materialism.

Do I truly aim for simplicity in my life?
At the same time, do I view my life as a journey (pilgrimage)?
If I did, then what would change about my daily moment-by-moment decisions?

How can I follow Jesus more closely in this area of my life?

For me, reading this book led me to that last question over and over...

I will write more on the other chapters over time.

Proper Confidence - Convictions

2010-09-30T10:33:00.000-04:00

This video challenged me to change my blog description. The description used to have something along the lines of "these are my thoughts and they are not in final form (whatever that is?)"

I do have thoughts. I do have convictions. I seek to have humble convictions that are based on a proper confidence in God and my life story's intersection with God's story.

I share on this blog (when I get to it) my very real "thoughts as I go". I do not want to hide behind a false humility that purports to know nothing because nobody can know anything. I know that my thoughts will always be open to reshaping but I would be remiss to not share confidently in the moment "as I go."

Those are my thoughts...

Check out the video below to see what caught my attention last night...

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

Like the ocean waves...

2010-09-21T09:03:00.001-04:00

The ocean has always been a place where I am reminded of God's love for me. For as long as I can remember, I recall thinking while standing in the ocean waters that God's love is like the ocean waves - always coming at me, surrounding me, refreshing me, renewing me, restoring me.

A song that has been out there for awhile finally caught my attention. I do not know why it is that some songs catch my attention and others do not. I also do not know why some songs catch my attention and not others and vice versa. Music always eludes concrete definitions. In many ways, my relationship with a song is like a relationship with a friend or person. I may meet someone or talk with someone but there comes a time when the relationship transitions from a random name to a known person. I experience songs like this...

The song that transitioned from "something on Pandora" to a friend is "Your Love Is A Song" by Switchfoot. I'm sure that this song is old for everyone else but for me it is fresh and it stirs my soul.

Here are the lyrics:
I hear you breathing in

Another day begins
The stars are falling out
My dreams are fading now, fading out

I've been keeping my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my eyes wide open

Your love is a symphony
All around me, running through me
Your love is a melody
Underneath me, running to me

Oh, your love is a song

The dawn is fire bright
Against the city lights
The clouds are glowing now
The moon is blacking out, is blacking out

So I've been keeping my mind wide open
I've been keeping my mind wide open, yeah

Your love is a symphony
All around me, running to me
Your love is a melody
Underneath me, and into me

Oh, your love is a song
Your love is a song
Oh, your love is a song
Your love is strong

With my eyes wide open
I've got my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my hopes unbroken
Yeah, yeah

As I have been listening to this song, God has brought the Bible passage 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to my mind. This is the "famous love passage" that is often read at weddings. The lyric "I've been keeping my hopes unbroken" triggered this connection.

I reread 1 Corinthians 13 this morning but I substituted "God" for "love" in the passage based on the 1 John 4:8 description of "God is love."

Here is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 with that exchange:

God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, God does not boast, God is not proud.
God is not rude, God is not self-seeking, God is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs.
God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
God always protects, God always trusts, God always hopes, God always perseveres.
God never fails.

God's love is song... Your love is a symphony, all around me, running to me, your love is a melody underneath me, and into me...

How do you experience God as love that comes to you like the ocean waves?

How do you experience God's love like a symphony, a beautiful masterpiece of music around you, coming to you, underneath you, moving you?

My soul is moved by this song...

My soul is transformed by Jesus who shows us and relates to us as the God of 1 Corinthians 13 (and the entire Bible's love song) who is love...

Go ahead, reread 1 Corinthians 13 and listen to "Love is a Song" and turn it up!

More than dishes...

2010-09-09T09:29:00.002-04:00

College provided a wealth of memories and experiences. I remember sharing an apartment with 3 friends during my final 2 years at UVA. For the most part, we shared duties around the apartment and pulled our own weight. From time to time, the dishes would pile up in the sink and it became painfully apparent that somone had to step up and clean them.

An argument broke out one evening about the dishes and accusations flew across the room from one person to the other. In the midst of the discussion, one of my roommates calmly said, "None of these dishes are mine. I always clean my dishes or put them in the dish washer."

Period.

He silenced us with his bold claim. He silenced us because we knew it was true. He was a servant-minded person who lived with integrity and we knew his claim of innocence was accurate.

This morning, I continued my reading in the Old Testament book of Job. Job in chapter 31 shares a defense of his life. He is responding to his critics (supposed friends) who are convinced that Job's devastating misfortunes (read chapters 1-2) are a result of his sin and rebellion against God.

Job shares his defense and it is a noble defense.

He can claim everything that he claims because like my friend (obviously moreso because this is MORE THAN DISHES), Job was a man of integrity who loved God and served other people.

For me, I am a defensive man who hides my mistakes. If I could only begin to claim what Job claim then I could share that God has restored and reshaped me into a godly man who loves God and serves others with no strings attached.

Here is a list of what Job claimed in chapter 31:

v.1 - not looking lustfully at a girl
v. 5 - not walking in falsehood
v. 9 - not enticed by a woman or not lurking at a neighbor's door with that intention
v. 13 - not denying justice to his servants
v. 16 - not denying the desires of the poor or the widow
v. 19 - not avoiding giving clothes to those who without garments
v. 21 - not ignoring the fatherless (especially with his influence in the court system)
v. 24 - not putting his trust in gold
v. 26 - not worshiping the sun or moon
v. 29 - not rejoicing over his enemies' misfortunes
v. 32 - not denying a traveler hospitality in his place
v. 33 - not concealing sin as others do...

WOW!

That list, as a friend has said so well in the recent past, tools with my soul...

How about you?

Can you claim a list like this?

Note: I do not believe that the goal of the Christian life is to boast on outward actions but I do believe that the inward change of the heart by God should lead to the outward working of these patterns (by God's grace).

This list involves more than dishes...

A Child's (Fresh) Perspective

2010-09-08T09:09:00.000-04:00

Last week, my oldest daughter (7 yrs old) Cambria asked me if I would read her a Bible story at night before going to bed. I quickly jumped at the opportunity and asked her what she would like for me to read. She responded immediately with "John."

I don't know why she picked the John's Gospel but I agreed to read it. She said, "Start from the beginning."

I initially hesitated because I thought, "How will Cambria comprehend some of the complex ideas that John shares and some of the mysterious sayings of Jesus in the Gospel of John?"

The next thought was a better one. I thought, "Cambria will help me see this book in a new light."

I have been reading approximately one chapter per night to Cambria before going to bed. I have tried to limit my commentary because my goal has been to let God (through the narrative and content) speak for himself. I have let her ask questions along the way such as "Who are the Pharisees?" but I have intentionally kept my mouth shut when I feel the need to explain a word or concept.

The experience has been a delightful one for both of us. Cambria is making observations and asking questions that I would easily overlook.

Here are some examples:

What did Jesus call his mommy? Did he call her "Mommy" or "Mom"? (in response to Jesus saying in John 2:4, "Dear woman, why do you involve me?")

"Huh? (laughing) That's silly, how can a person be born a second time?" (She said this right after I read Jesus words to Nicodemus in John 3:3, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdome of God unless he is born again." I then read Nicodemus' response that was pretty much the same as hers, "How can a man be born when he is old... surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!" )

"Why would anyone love darkness? It is scary when it is dark. That doesn't seem smart to love the dark." (in response to Jesus' words in John 3:19, "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.")

"Shhhh... (giggling as she speaks) She doesn't know it is Jesus" (in response to reading John 4 and the Samaritan woman's conversation with Jesus at Jacob's well.)

I have thoroughly enjoyed (and been challenged) by Cambria's questions and first interactions with these accounts from John's Gospel. I'm looking forward to more questions and observations as we continue...

If you would like a new perspective on anything, then watch children... they will give it to you (whether you want it or not!).

Living together in unity

2010-09-07T09:08:00.000-04:00

This morning, I read Psalm 133 as part of my morning Bible readings. The first verse jumped out at me - "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!"

I remember reading this verse years ago at a house in Charlottesville, VA at UVA. A group of guys lived in the house and they had this verse in a visible place for all to read. I have always read that verse through the lens of the college experience of "brothers" living together in unity. In that context, the brothers were roommates in a college rental house.

Years later (this morning to be exact), this verse means something else to me. David wrote the Psalm and the translation I have refers to brothers. If I apply the verse to a marriage and family context, then I am challenged to consider what this means for my marriage and family.

What does it look like for a marriage and family to "live together in unity"?

On the surface, that seems like a question with obvious answers. The reality, however, is that achieving unity with a diverse set of individuals (different genders, different generations, different temperments, different likes/dislikes, etc) can be very challenging.

Did you notice the word "different" in that list?

So what does living together in unity mean for a family? Does it simply mean that everyone agrees on everything? Does everyone have to think the same on every subject and decision? Does it mean that the everyone is working together and serving on another?

The answer to the questions, "What does it look like for a family live together in unity?" and "How can this be accomplished on a daily basis?" are important.

David claims that it is "good and pleasant" when this is the case.

I know that I would like to taste and experience having a "good and pleasant" home, wouldn't you?

If you are reading this (and I don't expect many to read this since I haven't blogged much in ages), then please feel free to leave a comment (here or on Facebook) regarding how you work toward "living together in unity" in your marriage and families.

What does swimming have to do with Facebook?

2010-07-28T01:43:00.001-04:00

Today, I achieved a goal that I set a few years ago. I live in a neighborhood that has a small lake and I clearly remember the first time visiting the lake and thinking, "I want to swim across this lake!" The swim is approximately 1/2 mile from the dock at one beach to the far beach on the other side (1 mile total for a round-trip).

I have made multiple attempts at swimming in the lake in order to build up my ability to swim the entire length. Each time, however, I stopped swimming and went on to something else (trail running, lifting, eating potato chips and watching Sportscenter)...

That changed this week.

I decided to go for a swim on Monday and I was able to make it 1/2 way across the lake. I decided to post an update on Facebook and some friends from multiple chapters of my life made comments. The one comment that immediately caught my attention referred to a swimming rival that I had in high school. This rival was a female swimmer who beat me in every event during every co-ed swim meet. I clearly remember my friends making fun of me for always (and I mean ALWAYS) losing to her.

The comment on my Facebook wall that caught my attention said something along the lines of "If you can't swim the rest of the way, then everybody knows that she [real name used in the comment] can!"

My competitive juices ignited.

I swam 3/4 of the way the next day. The day after (today), I finished the job and swam all the way to the other side and back (approximately 1 mile long total).

I had attempted to swim the entire way multiple times during the past 3 years but I didn't make it until today. Needless to say, I would not have made it apart from the extra motivation provided from a simple Facebook comment that brought back many memories of being embarrassed in swimming pools across north Jersey in 1992-1994...

Facebook continues to amaze me. I truly am astounded by the fact that individuals from multiple chapters of my life can intersect in one place and interact over current events in my life.

In this case, that intersection provided the motivation to finish the job and swim the entire length of the lake!

Thank you Zuckerberg for creating Facebook!

500 Million Stories

2010-07-22T23:31:00.006-04:00

I started reading "The Facebook Effect" tonight and I am looking forward to engaging the story of Facebook.

I clearly remember being invited to join Facebook in late 2006 while I was at Princeton Theological Seminary. I recall how impressed I was by the simplicity of the user interface and the consistency of the experience. I did not feel lost in a jungle like I did when I clicked into myspace.

Since then, I have maintained a fairly consistent interaction with Facebook. I have gone through the oft-repeated ups and downs of engagement but I always have returned. I still have not located the "best" use of Facebook for churches and that will be an ongoing project. I am convinced that Facebook can network individuals in the body of Christ to engage our culture with the love of Christ in a way that goes beyond being another announcement mechanism for over-programmed churches.

I have yet to see anyone do this effectively however...

I located Mark Zuckerberg's page and I read his self-description, "I'm trying to make the world a more open place by helping people connect and share."

I was struck by the simplicity of his "mission statement." I should seek the same simplicity in my life and go after it. That is a subject for another day.

Until then, I am going to keep reading this book on Facebook and see if I encounter any new revelations about the platform/application/phenomenon that has captured the attention of 500 million users and stories in the world.

Classic Post

2010-07-18T00:53:00.003-04:00

This is my "I haven't posted in a zillion years" post.

I haven't because I thought that I would capture short thoughts on twitter. I did that for awhile and I still drop a thought here or there via twitter.

I am looking to come back to this blog in late September after I transition to Virginia. I realized from scanning this blog that blogging helps me to slow down and put my thoughts and feelings together in a post.

As always, the vision and intention can be strong but the execution may be weak. Let's see if I write again in September...

"The" Spirit

2009-11-16T13:08:00.003-05:00

I am still using this blog as a place to share longer ideas. I have started using twitter as a micro-blog to toss out shorter ideas that are swirling around my head as I observe and interact with the world and all that God is doing - http://twitter.com/jeffreydlee2000.

This morning, I continued in my reading of Calvin in Book I, Chapter IX, 1-3. The title of this section is "Fanatics, Abandoning Scripture and Flying Over to Revelation, Cast Down All the Principles of Godliness."

Calvin hits on a topic that reshaped my view of "the Spirit" as it is often referenced.

I have posted on this topic before but I believe that it is worth another perspective today. I often hear people say that "the Spirit" led them to do something or think about something different. In many ways, "the Spirit" becomes an automatic permission to do or believe anything. You can do or say anything and simply back it up by "the Spirit."

But who is this Spirit?

Calvin reminded me this morning that "the Spirit" must be connected to what God reveals in scripture. One of the roles of God's Spirit or the Holy Spirit is to open our eyes and hearts to God in and through scripture. The Holy Spirit is not some free-floating source of inspiration who backs up anything we think or imagine. Instead, God's Spirit is a personal counselor and comforter who has the task of reminding us what Jesus taught and connecting us into the life of God - both communal relationships (like the working out of the imminent trinity) and mission in the world (like the working out of the economic trinity).

Calvin drives the point home by stating that scripture is not an entity that constrains or limits the freedom of the Spirit as some claim (many who want to escape God's voice that is heard through scripture). Instead, God's Spirit and scripture are the same voice - one does not limit or constrain the other.

Yes, there are different interpretations of scripture and different emphases on various passages. I welcome those differences and invite those who believe differently on scripture passages to come together to listen for God's voice. I get more nervous when a set of like-minded individuals or a solo person brings an interpretation of scripture to the table without engaging others in dialogue about it.

With that said, I trust (along with Calvin) that God's Spirit will lead people to hear God's voice in and through scripture and that any person who claims to be acting by "the Spirit" needs to demonstrate that this Spirit matches what God says in and through scripture. In other words, the actions match what occurs in a living relationship with Jesus Christ and not an independent set of ideas or desires.

What are some examples of people who claim to be acting or doing by "the Spirit"?
How do you see the difference between free-floating actions and actions led by God's Spirit who speaks in and through scripture?

The Story

2009-11-02T12:17:00.002-05:00

I carved out the time this morning to slow down and continue my reading in Calvin's Institutes.

I have been asked "Really? The Institutes?" regarding my choice of morning reading. My response has been that I am taking up the challege from one of my seminary professors to read through the Institutes as a pastor. I am also seeing how many who claim to 'Calvinists' have never read through (or even opened) the Institues. It is always fun to ask, "Have you read the Institutes?" when someone pulls out TULIP and claims to be a Calvinist. I haven't heard a "Yes" yet...

I do not consider myself, however, a 'Calvinist' but I continue to be refreshed by Calvin's heart for Christ, Scripture and the church.

Today, I read through Book, Chapter VIII, 1-13 - "So Far as Human Reason Goes, Sufficiently Firm Proofs Are at Hand to Establish the Credibility of Scripture."

The timing of this reading is ironic because I am facilitating a weekly Starting Point conversation at MVPC and this week's topic is Scripture.

Calvin reminded me of the (nothing short of) miraculous nature of the Bible in terms of the overall story and how all of the inputs come together. Even moreso, I was reminded that the Bible is not composed by eloquent writers (even though THE King James version tried to clean up that 'mistake') and that adds to its credibility. Calvin writes:

For it was also not without God's extraordinary providence that the sublime myseteries of the Kingdom of Heaven came to be expressed largely in mean and lowly words, lest, if they had been adorned with more shining eloquence, the impious would scoffingly have claimed that its power is in the realm of eloquence alone. Now since such uncultivated and almost rude simplicity inspires greater reverence for itself than any eloquence, what ought one to conclude except that the force of the truth of Sacred Scripture is manifestly too powerful to need the art of words?

I am encouraged that the Bible is not composed by eloquent philosophers. Instead, the writers are a collection of regular individuals who God selected to share his story and therefore allow us to see ourselves in that story as well.

An Authentic Voice

2009-09-16T12:38:00.003-04:00

The word "apologetics" seems to be a horrendous starting point for connecting someone to Jesus and his life-restoring grace. I know that the word has a legitimate background but I often think that it points to apologizing for a faith.

One of my burning questions has always been, "Why are followers of Christ the only ones who have to apologize for their faith?" Everyone else does not "have" to make excuses for their faith - they simply live.

With that said, I read in Calvin's Institutes this morning from Book I, Ch VII, 1-5 titled, "Scripture Must Be Confirmed by the Witness of the Spirit. Thus May Its Authority Be Established As Certain."

Calvin points to the role of the Spirit as the way to authenticate Scripture as opposed to the church or opinions of humanity or even other proofs. He circles the argument with numerous responses to the Catholic Church or others who raise questions about the Bible.

In the end, I see Calvin returning to a very basic observation. If you hear a voice of a person, then you can know if it is authentic. An authentic voice comes from the actual person.

Calvin shares (from Ephesians 2:20) that the church is "built upon the foundation of the prophets and apostles." These people were given the task of speaking God's voice into the world. The words of the prophets are recorded in the Old Testament and the teaching of the apostles in the New Testament. They never spoke on their own. They shared God's message.

How do we know if Scripture is legitimate? According to Calvin, God's Spirit will authenticate Scripture. I would add that this happens when we listen for God's voice in and through reading and reflecting on Scripture (both alone and in groups). An authentic voice will come through and that voice, God's voice, will address each listener and invite a response.

A picture of this is found in 1 Thessalonians when the apostle Paul shares, "For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction."

They listened and God's voice (through the gospel message) impacted them.

Do you hear an authentic voice that is lovingly addressing you when you open your Bible?

Which path?

2009-09-14T12:23:00.003-04:00

This morning, I continued in my readings from Calvin's Institutes. Once again, I am struck by Calvin's heart for God and for how his love for Christ jumps off of the page. Yes, Calvin has his rough edges but I am more surprised by his devotion to Christ than I am by his harsh words for critics.

I read from Book I, Ch VI, 1-4 titled "Scripture is Needed to Guide and Teacher for Anyone Who Would Come to God the Creator."

Calvin builds on his initial thesis that God reveals himself in creation but people turn from God and do not embrace what God clearly shows. In summary, our depraved minds block God and his movements towards us. Calvin continues by stating that we need Scripture to "direct us aright to the very Creator of the universe."

The section that caught my attention today states:

We must come, I say, to the Word, where God is truly and vividly described to us from his works, while these very works are appraised not by our depraved judgment but by the rule of eternal truth. If we turn aside from the Word, as I have just now said, though we may strive with strenuous haste, yet, since we have got off the track, we shall never reach the goal. For we should so reason that the splendor of the divine countenance, which even the apostle calls "unapproachable" [1 Tim. 6:16], is for us like an inexplicable labyrinth unless we are conducted into it by the thread of the Word;

The basics - Turn to God through knowing him through Jesus Christ. Jesus is the Word and Scripture (the written word) bears witness to Jesus. If we refuse to let God speak on his own terms, then we are left to creating our own god.

Which path?

Calvin continues by sharing what caught my attention as I read this section, "so that it is better to limp along this path (turning to God through listening for his Word through Scripture) then to dash with all the speed outside it."

Am I running on a path that leads me away from God (usually in my own self-justifying thoughts and feelings) or am I moving, maybe limping, along the path of following Jesus and hearing from God through Scripture?

Which path?

The Road

2009-09-08T00:43:00.003-04:00

I have to make a confession. I am fiction-challenged.

What do I mean by that? I mean that I struggle reading fiction. I fall asleep. I get bored. I lose interest. I fall asleep.

I have come to realize that reading fiction is an odd kind of spiritual discipline for me. It is a "spiritual discipline" because I must intentionally engage my imagination with fiction. I discover rest when I let myself step away from non-fiction books and works.

This morning, I woke up and thought, "I need to finally read Lord of the Rings." I read The Fellowship of the Ring 6+ years ago but I only made it through 1/4 of The Two Towers. I never picked up the books again. My friend shared his Lord of the Rings DVDs with me but I couldn't put them in today because I felt the pull to read the books.

I lost myself in Book One of The Fellowship of the Ring today. I enjoyed every second of it and I STAYED AWAKE! I remembered why I was captivated by Tolkien's great work years ago. One reason that stands out more than any other is Frodo's sense of calling and his struggle with the calling that was thrust upon him.

In many ways, I feel that in my calling as a full-time church pastor. I know that it is what God has called me to but I sometimes think and feel "why me?"... I feel like God has set me on a path that I didn't choose for myself but now that I am walking on that path I wouldn't choose any other.

At one point, Frodo shares the following as he walked along with Sam and Pippen:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet,
And whither then? I cannot say.

I am on The Road and I feel like I will be joining some larger way. Yes, "where many paths and errands meet and wither then? I cannot say."

An Indirect Mentor - Leighton Ford

2009-09-07T01:49:00.003-04:00

Leighton Ford is mostly known for serving alongside Billy Graham. More recently, he has shifted his focus toward mentoring young leaders. His son, Kevin, served with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in Virginia when I was at UVA. I remember meeting Kevin at a chapter camp at Windy Gap and then buying Leighton's book titled Transforming Leadership. I read the book that summer.

Years later, I had the opportunity to meet Leighton Ford when he spoke at MVPC. I reread Transforming Leadership before he came and I was able to see how much I have learned (or better put - realized what I have yet to learn and experience) about leadership after 14 years. At MVPC, he preached on the subject of "Paying Attention" and he shared from his new book The Attentive Life.

I bought the book but I didn't open it until this weekend. I am 2/3 of the way through it (the last 1/3 is always the hardest to press through) and I have been refreshed by the content, especially his emphasis on slowing down in our attention-deficit culture.

As I have been reading the book, I have felt like I have been mentored by a great person. I know that I have found a treasure of an author, a book and/or a person when I get that sense. I love feeling like I am sitting down with a person as I hear his/her voice through a book.

One area of mentoring from Ford came from his variety of life-giving perspectives on love. One of his definitions of love is "focused attention." He shares the following words from the Scottish preach Alexander Whyte about love based on the apostle Paul's words from Ephesians 3:

The love of Christ has no border: it has no shore: it has no bottom. The love of Christ is boundless: it is bottomless: it is infinite: it is divine. That is passeth knowledge is the greatest thing that ever was said, about it... We shall come to the shore, we shall strike the bottom of every other love: but never of the love of Christ!... You, who have once cast yourself into it, and upon it -- the great mystic speaks of it as if it were at once an ocean and a mountain, --- you will never come to the length of it, or to the breadth of it, or to the depth of it, or to the height of it. To all eternity, the love of Christ to you will be new.

Let that mentor, refresh and restore you today as you consider the love of Christ.

I know that I felt my soul restored by that quote and many other prayers and stories in this book.

True Rest and Happiness

2009-09-05T12:37:00.007-04:00

I first took Jesus seriously during my freshman year in high school when I heard a small group of friends work through 1 John 4. The verse that still awakens my soul to God's love and identity is 1 John 4:10 - "This is love: not that we loved but that God love us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." I was pulled into the loving arms of God who didn't expect perfection before embracing me.

I rested in that realization.

Years later, I picked up a book titled Knowing God by J.I. Packer. Up to that point, I had pushed away any book that focused on theology. I didn't want to read high and lofty theology. I simply wanted to read the Bible and let God speak.

I started to read Packer's book and I clearly remember the opening section describing the greatest endeavor of a person - to know God. He shared that there is nothing more rewarding than to let God reveal himself and to discover God during intentional moments of listening and searching.

This morning, I continued in my reading of Calvin's Institutes and I read I.V.1-10. The chapter title in McNeill's edition is "The Knowledge of God Shines Forth in the Fashioning of the Universe and the Continuing Government of it."

The sentences that caught my attention came at the very beginning when Calvin writes:

The final goal of the blessed life, moreover, rests in the knowledge of God [cf. John 17:3]. Lest anyone, then, be excluded from access to happiness.

Blessed. Rest. Happiness.

These words are slippery, especially "blessed." What does "being blessed" really look and feel like? I've always asked that question. I've come to the conclusion that I know what "being blessed" is when I am in the midst of it. I feel blessed when I am connected to God and I do not feel like anything is in the way of my relationship with him. I feel blessed when I am serving another person and I know that I would not be doing it without the work of Christ in (on) my life. I feel blessed when I am singing during a worship service with others in response to God's grace. I feel blessed when I feel free to love my wife, my little girls and whomever God puts in my path at any given moment.

The other two words that Calvin uses (rest and happiness) fit right into this picture.

BUT I have be reminded (awakened) of this every moment of every day!

Calvin later shares that God's purpose in all revelation is blessedness of those who receive this revelation. In other words, blessedness is found in experiencing God's revelation. Calvin later says "but because of human sin, the effect of this revelation in creation is to deepen man's guilt."

That's a sad reality. At the very point that we should be experiencing blessing, rest and happiness (in the moment of God sharing himself with us), we often feel the most guilty because of God's presence. We push God away.

I do this. I feel God's presence but then I push him away if I am running away from God or indifferent. This is not God's problem. It is my problem. God is graciously saying "I love you. I am here" but I say "Go away!" because of my guilt (shame and pride).

What is our hope? What is my hope? The hope is that Jesus made the way for us to know God and to not have our guilt become deeper in God's presence. Instead, we should feel the freedom and confidence to come before God AND to experience the blessing, rest and happiness that comes from being known by God and knowing God.

Prayer: Jesus, thank you for making a way for me to be known by God and to know God. I am convinced that the true source of blessing, rest and happiness is God. I can see how I could push God away without the assurance that you made the way for me to be in a living relationship with God now and for eternity. Thank you for finding me. Thank you for awakening a love for you and a desire to know you. Help me to turn toward you every day and then turn toward others because of our relationship and your work of restoration, transformation and renovation in my life. For your name's sake. Amen.

1 out of 100

2009-09-04T12:14:00.002-04:00

I am continuing my daily readings in Calvin's Institutes and it has become a highlight of my day. I am now looking forward to the reading, reflection and subsequent prayer.

Years ago, I realized that my swimming workouts were mostly sprint-oriented. I intentionally shifted those workouts to be long distance so as to foster a more 'marathon' mindset as opposed to a 'sprint' mindset. These readings fall in the 'marathon' mindset as I take a little bit per day but consistently take them on.

I often share that "95% of people believe any statistic" - including that one.

Calvin shares in Book I, IV, 1 that "As experienced shows, God has sown a seed of religion in all men. But scarcely one man in a hundred is met who fosters it, once received, in his heart, and none in whom it ripens - much less shows fruit in season [cf. Ps 1:3]."

1 out of 100.

He obviously isn't drawing on polls or statistics but his numbers resonate with me. The convicting aspect of his statistic and subsequent analysis is that he is talking more about the response by people to their acknowledgment of God or a god or "something out there."

Calvin exposes the reality that people often generate an image of God (an idol) in order to ultimately hide from the very God who they know exists, who they know has the final word on their lives, and who they know requires a response. He points out superstitions, religious rites and other actions to placate God.

As for me, I can see how I can easily fall into this trap. In fact, I am a pastor. If anyone can say "look at me God, I am following you" it is me. I can easily embrace a false idea that I am "making it" as a Christian since I serve full-time in a church ministry environment.

This, however, could be the greatest place of hiding.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, take me out of hiding. Help me to follow you and to respond to you and not try to placate you with my life. I want to relate to you and be yours.

Directing Every Thoughts and Action

2009-09-03T12:16:00.003-04:00

Today's reading in Calvin's Institutes was Book I, Ch III, 1-3. The section is titled "The Knowledge of God has been Naturally Implanted in the Minds of Men."

I have always started with the assumption that people all have some view of God or a god or "something out there." If anything, I often see that those who oppose the view of God or a god have to work very hard to prove (to themselves?) that a personal, creative, ruling entity does not exist. In many ways, I see this as a lifelong endeavor to hide from God.

In our culture, these statements come across as insulting to those who believe that God does not exist. How can a person (me) make this bold and arrogant statement?

I make these statements because I believe them to be true and I invite anyone who disagrees with me to enter into a conversation about them. I am sharing what I have witnessed in the lives of my friends, co-workers and family members who reject the existence of God. They do so for reasons that are legitimate to them and I can often see why they have chosen to make this decision based on their life experiences and experiences with those who believe in God.

If I truly believe that, then what should I be doing. Calvin awakened me today to why I need to humbly (re)direct my life toward God in every moment of every day. I may claim that God exists and base my life on a relationship with him through Jesus Christ but that doesn't mean that I will be shaped by that understanding and relationship without an intentional movement toward God (as God is constantly intentionally moving toward me first).

Calvin shares the following in I.III.3

Besides, if all men are born and live to the end that they may know God, and yet if knowledge of God is unstable and fleeting unless it progresses to this degree, it is clear that all of those who do not direct every thought and action in their lives to this goal degenerate from the law of their creation. This was not unknown to the philosophers.

The bottom line is that every person has some natural understanding that God or a god or "something out there" exists. Every person has a choice as to what to do with that understanding - whether to be known by God or hide from God.

I believe God sent his Son to share himself and open the way for a life-restoring relationship with the personal, loving God who created everything (including you and me). If we enter into that relationship, then we will be restored daily and into eternity. As I go, I need to direct every thought and action to the goal of knowing God.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for showing up on the scene (earth) and revealing God through your life, death and resurrection. Seriously, thank you. I would be lost without you. I would be searching for an unknown God that would be mostly created in my own imagination (and image). Help me today to direct every thought and action toward knowing you. Thank you for the truth of 1 John 4:10 "this is love: not that we loved but that you loved us and sent your Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." This truth woke me up to your love for me back in December of 1990 and you have been restoring me ever since. Help me to continue in my quest to turn toward you as you constantly turn toward me. I love you. For your name's sake, Amen.

Every Pastor Needs To...

2009-09-02T13:01:00.004-04:00

Ellen Charry, a PTS Theology professor, boldly shared that every Christian needs to read Augustine's Confessions. She then boldly shared, "Every pastor needs to read through Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion."

She shared this during one of my first classes in seminary in the Fall of 2004. Five years have passed since she made that statement and I mentally tucked it away.

Recently, I have set aside 15 minutes every morning to read in my office. I arrive. I turn on a small light sitting on my work table. I open a book and read. I do this before I turn on my computer. I do this before I write on white board. I do this before I sort my piles.

I always enjoy reading works by devout followers of Christ. I often feel like I am sitting in a room with them and dialoguing with them as I read. Earl Palmer's Theological Dialogue gatherings have helped me as well. I often read out loud and stop to reflect on specific items that catch my attention. I then follow another one of Charry's challenges and "let all theological reflection turn to prayer." I end my time with an open conversation with God in prayer - sometimes silent, sometimes speaking, sometimes sharing my struggles, sometimes sharing my excitement.

Yesterday, I decided to take up Charry's challenge and I opened up Calvin's Institutes. I have read excerpts at various points but I have never ventured to read the entire work. I am started on that journey yesterday.

I haven't been blogging because I haven't cared to make the time to do so. I will post a thought here or there as I read through the Institutes. I am not trying to do anything big with these posts. I'm simply returning to the basics of this blog's theme - recording "thoughts as I go."

Here we go...

The quote that caught my attention this morning is in Book I, Chapter II, 2.

Because it (the mind) understands him to be the Author of every good, if anything oppresses, if anything is lacking, immediately it betakes itself to his protection, waiting for help from him. Because it is persuaded that he is good and merciful, it reposes in him with perfect trust, and doubts not that in his loving-kindness a remedy will be provided for all its ills.

Do I really believe that God is the "Author of every good"?
Do I immediately turn to him and wait for help from him?

I am convicted by these words, especially as I face a new school calendar year. Do I really believe this in light of the following:
- Laurie and I are expecting our 4th child (another girl!) in December
- Cambria is starting 1st grade today and parenting continues to challenge me every day
- I am leading a small group ministry that needs guidance and depth
- I feel lost in these efforts when I try to wrap my head around all of the possibilities

Where do I turn? Do I turn to my own thoughts and strength?

According to Calvin's reminders, I need to return to the "Author of every good."

Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me today to know that you truly are the author of every good. Please give me the grace (undeserved gift) of trust in you. Help me to know that you are really there and that you can and will come to my aid when I turn to you. I turn to you with my life again this morning. Take my life and let me rest in you as I live out the calling you have for me and my life. For your name's sake. Amen

Out of nowhere

2009-03-22T23:51:00.002-04:00

About 1 month ago, I felt like I was getting into a groove in life - family, full-time church ministry and the Seattle area. Something happened since then. It seems like every possible commitment or opportunity that was put on hold turned into a YES. From there, I let my schedule book up - early morning (6 AM or sometimes 5:30 AM), normal morning, afternoon, late afternoon, evening, etc.

I feel like the temperature has been turned up on life and I didn't see it coming.

This blog, among many other things, has taken a direct hit.

I am stepping away from my normal schedule at the end of this week to gather with my seminary friends for a time of reflection, ministry feedback, study and rest and fun. I know that I need that in order to reset and get ready for whatever God wants me to do in the coming weeks, months and years.

I thought that I would post something in order to show that I was alive (seemingly)

Never Study Alone

2009-01-09T01:52:00.003-05:00

I wrote on my other blog (part of the MVPC blog crew) a few weeks ago about a book that I have never read - "Never Eat Alone."

I saw this book at a book store while working on a paper at Princeton Seminary a few years ago. The title captured my attention but I never read the book. I was captivated by the idea that no meal should pass without connecting with another person or group of people.

Recently, I saw a similar a pattern in my study life. I didn't make a conscious decision to do this but I found myself in numerous studies with others. I realized that I had made the decision in order to keep myself engaged in a life of learning but also realizing that I could not set aside the amount of time that I would like for solo study.

I now should write the book "Never Study Alone" because I am living out the primary theme that if I am going to read a book or study the Bible then I should engage in that study with another person (much like a person should engage in conversations over a meal with another person).

Here is a sample of my current "Never Study Alone" gatherings:
- 1 Peter - weekly coffee meeting
- It by Craig Groeschel - bi-weekly lunch
- Confessions by Augustine - bi-weekly coffee meeting
- Dogmatics in Outline by Karl Barth - monthly theological forum with Earl Palmer
- Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels - bi-monthly gathering with small group ministry coaches
- Reading the Bible for All Its Worth by Gordon Fee and Douglas Stuart - monthly lunch meeting
- Future In-formation by Ron Carucci and Josh Epperson - blog discussion started from a monthly leadership gathering

Music DNA

2008-11-27T13:34:00.002-05:00

Many posts ago, I shared that I was convinced that each person has a unique "Top 10" list of songs. I think that we can all agree that every person responds to a song differently based on their music preference. The next level of connection to a song comes from the memories and/or season of life associated with the song.

There are some songs that resonate with me today that would not have resonated with me 1 year ago, 5 years ago or 20 years ago. The opposite is true as well - songs that resonated with me 1 year ago, 5 years ago or 20 years ago do not always connect with me now.

With that said, a friend's status update on Facebook said, "I'm thankful for the person who told me about Pandora." I looked it up and now I am hooked.

Pandora is based on the music genome project and it attempts to bring together songs based on a complex algorithm that assesses aspects of the songs. The theory is that each song has its own DNA.

In turn, I would say that sets of songs (like a top ten list) have the complexity of combined DNA that must be unique for each person.

Is there anything out there that lets you put in your personal top ten list of songs and have it match up with others?

Would your top ten list ever be the same at any instant in time?

Let's start small, if you have a top 3 songs, then what are they?

Disconnected analysis

2008-11-18T00:53:00.002-05:00

I am learning a basic lesson right now. The lesson is that church ministry decisions should be based on actual conversations with real individuals as opposed to theories from books or other ministry models. Yes, this should be a basic observation.

The pull toward stepping away to "figure things out" is a strong pull for me. In many ways, I have attempted to apply a logic-driven approach to analyzing a small group ministry. The outcome has often been disconnected from the reality that I have (re)discovered from talking with real individuals who are participating in the small group ministry.

The phrase "incarnational ministry" has been tossed around in more ways than I can count. I will, however, venture to say that I have experienced a facet of that elusive term in recent days as I have "dwelled among" friends who want to connect with God and other people through small groups.

Simple.

My Dad has always said, "People before process" but I apparently missed the memo...

It is time to listen.

It is time to act...

How have you seen systems receive the primary focus as opposed to people in your area of responsibility (work, family, etc)?

Stirring up apathetic spirits

2008-11-03T00:50:00.003-05:00

I was battling some apathy the other morning so I asked God to wake me up through meditating on a section of Scripture. The Old Testament book of Haggai immediately came to mind.

I read through the first chapter. After reading a vivid description of apathy, I read this in vv 13-14 - “Then Haggai, the LORD’s messenger, gave this message of the LORD to his people, “I am with you,” declares the LORD. So the LORD stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of the whole remnant of the people. They came and began to work on the house of the LORD Almighty, their God.”

The people of God drifted toward apathy regarding God’s honor and purposes in the world. At that point in time, God’s honor was seen and experienced in the temple. Instead, the people drifted toward only focusing on themselves. In 1:4, Haggai shares, “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in the paneled houses while this house (the temple) remains a ruin?”

In other words, he was asking "do you only care about yourselves?"

God then addressed these people through his messenger Haggai and God stirred up their apathetic spirits toward his purposes in the world.

What are some ways that the church needs to hear this word today?

In what ways, do we merely care for our own private worlds as opposed to responding to God’s invitation to participate in what he is doing in our community and the world?

Does this reminder stir you? It stirs me up.

Always surrounded...

2008-10-28T01:03:00.002-04:00

I am sharing at a men's ministry event this Wednesday morning (yes, 6 AM!). I will be sharing about my childhood family. My parents scanned in some old pictures and sent them over to me. The picture above sums up my life - always surrounded by females. Now, I live with my wife and 3 daughters...

Look at my face! Look at my position on the chair. I am being pushed out! :)

The Apostle Paul's Facebook wall?

2008-10-27T01:46:00.003-04:00

I hit the height of my Facebook "use" a few months ago and I am no longer on it every day (hour) of the week. I still enjoy the reconnects that I have made through the site and the memories that I have recalled in light of the conversations.

I remember the first time I realized that my Wall was available for my friends and the world to see. A person can start to get a sense of a person from scanning his or her wall. The standard information (Activities, Interests, Favorite Music, etc) given in the Info section provides an initial snapshot of a person. The wall, however, provides a dynamic view of a person through his or her interactions.

I was reading through Colossians for my small group study the other night and I came to the final section of the letter. In the past, I have often skimmed the descriptions and exchanges in this part of the letter because I (naively) found them to be repetitive and not as interesting as the rest of the letter.

I changed my view on this the other night. In many ways, the final greetings from Paul reveal the nature of his relationships with others from various "networks" (do you see the Hierapolis Network, Colosse Network, the Laodicea Network?). The final section is like a Facebook wall - the Apostle Paul's Facebook wall.

Of course, the individuals did not post to the letter directly but you can see the nature of the relationships and the personal interactions between Paul and others in this section. In many ways, the exhortations that Paul gives in chapter 3 of Colossians are lived out in chapter 4 and seen in these real relationships.

Go ahead and read Colossians 4 with eyes toward these relationships. You can then see other "posts" from his other letters such as 2 Timothy...

Deep down inside

2008-09-29T12:53:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I felt the sickening feeling that accompanies a beloved sports teams elimination from the playoffs. I have felt this before (last year on the last day of the season) and I will feel it again (next year on the last or first day of the season?).

I tried to determine why this sick feeling comes over my body due to events like the Mets' choking. As I pondered, my mind wandered to the fact that I am repulsed by the feeling of not coming through for others when they need me. I hate when I fail to fulfill a commitment to a friend or simply let someone down.

There is a larger pattern present here as well. I have noticed that I tend to judge others in the exact areas that I struggle the most. This is a basic observation that I see in every other person as well. We judge others most harshly in the exact places we need help.

Back to the Mets... I saw them choke yesterday (this past week, this past month...) and I couldn't stomach, literally, the fact that they let me down by not coming through. I hate that in them but I hate that more in my actions.

SO, I will be thinking about how my stomach felt yesterday when I am tempted to not come through for others when they need me. I won't be perfect but I will intentionally work to avoid making others feel like the 56,000 fans who sat through the choke-fest yesterday at Shea Stadium in NY City.

Growing up

2008-09-23T01:16:00.002-04:00

I have been reflecting on the meaning of "growing up" recently. I believe that I have been able to look at life with fresh eyes again now that I am somewhat settled into my new home. The past 5 years have been a whirlwind ever since Cambria was born and I decided to apply to Princeton Seminary. I am starting to re-experience the basic rhythms of life - a rhythm that isn't marked by "what's next?"...

One aspect of growing up involves taking ownership because nobody else is going to come to your rescue. This should be a basic observation but I am seeing how it hasn't been in my life. I have been blessed with parents who provided for me as a child and have been a tremendous help to me in many ways throughout my life. I can see now that I sometimes still fall into a child mindset when a challenge comes my way.

Tonight, I went against that mindset. Our kitchen sink was leaking and I was unable to fix the problem right away. I had a choice. The first choice was to cling to the reality that I am not a handy guy and give up. The second choice was to pursue a solution and take ownership of my sink.

First, I went to Home Depot and I actually asked for help. That was a big step. The plumbing representative gave me some things to consider but none of them seemed to fit my exact problem. Second, I returned home and saw the problem with new eyes (also after cruising some Kohler sink docs online) and I was able to fix the problem!

Right now, the sink is not leaking. Right now, I feel pretty good about myself. Right now, I feel like I took one more step in growing up.

A New Friend

2008-09-22T00:41:00.002-04:00

I had the opportunity to meet with Earl Palmer recently at University Presbyterian Church. Our conversation focused primarily on his experiences in full-time church ministry. I asked him numerous questions and he responded with the wisdom and thoughtfulness that any person seeking a conversation with him would expect and desire.

I asked him how he has stayed fresh in full-time church ministry over the years and how he has avoided mediocrity? He immediately responded to the question with, "Preaching and finding ways to teach others how to study Scripture in a way that the Bible and Jesus Christ comes to life!"

I also asked him about his favorite authors and he shared a list that challenged me to expand my reading selections. He said, "Pick an author and befriend him or her. Read and read that author until you feel like you know them and they have known you as you interact with their writings."

A few days ago, I picked up G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy off my book shelf. I had purchased the book years ago after hearing Earl Palmer mention it in a sermon. I had saved the book until a time that seemed right and now is that time.

I read the first chapter where Chesterton focuses on why a person who relies solely on logic will go mad because he or she attempts to control the world. I was struck by these words,

Poetery is sane because it floats easily in an infinite sea; reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite... To accept everything is an exercise, to understand everything a strain. A poet only desires exaltation and expansion, a world to stretch himself in. The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.

I was challenged to consider how I as a logician (ask anyone who knows me well about this) attempts to get "the heavens into" my head and that sometimes causes my head to split.

He goes on to share that sometimes thinking less is a path to life for those who think too much...

I found a new friend. Chesterton helped me reflect on my life in a manner that I haven't since I read Augustine's Confessions years ago. Thank you Earl Palmer for your wise words and for introducing me to a new friend.

Good question

2008-09-13T23:05:00.002-04:00

I am writing for the first time since May. I obviously bought into the Seattle area summer mindset - meaning that I completely check out of life during the summer. One of my numerous observations from my first year out here is that everyone checks out of responsibility when the sun is out. I understood why that occurred during the cloudy/rainy months but I did not anticipate it happening ALL summer long.

I have enjoyed making observations like this one during my time here in Maple Valley. I should write about all of them (4th of July insanity, why people move out here, etc.) but I'll have to come back to that another time.

Now to the question of the day. Who am I? That is a question that I know that some are asking in light of the fact that I haven't updated this blog in many months. I also have struggled to find ways to connect with friends in light of a newborn's (now 3 months) arrival (Carys) and the constant learning in my position at Maple Valley Presbyterian. I am still learning how to live post-seminary and post-technology.

You will know if I am in a better groove once I start updating this blog consistently again because I definitely still have many many many "thoughts as I go" about life and faith...

Connnecting the Dots?

2008-07-06T01:47:00.003-04:00

I pulled together the final details for a sermon and I still feel like I am not connecting the dots. I can feel the mental fatigue of trying to write a strong sermon while keeping up the reality of having a 4 week old newborn in my family.

In light of the challenge, I am going to write out the proposed flow of thought for the sermon. I don't know if I will have the brainpower to deliver this and I will look back in the future to see whether I was wise to take on this sermon this close to Carys' birth.

Mark 1:9-13

There is a clear difference between learning about a person and actually knowing them. Knowing a person is a complex endeavor because people do not reveal everything in their hearts - they keep secrets. Knowing a person involves having the other person reveal themselves to you. Problems arise, however, when we do not let intently listen to the other person but instead force our expectations and desires on them. In other words, we often only see what we want to see and we can get frustrated with the rest.

Our culture plays a significant role in creating this disconnect. We live in a consumer-driven society that includes choice and options at every turn. In fact, we expect to be able to customize whatever products we purchase and/or the experiences we buy. Some online examples in cars and clothing. Another example that impacts young children is Build-A-Bear. Children pick an animal and customize it to their exact liking. The description for Build-A-Bear is "Where Best Friends Are Made"... Best friends eh? Ironically (or not so), these "best friends" are often tossed aside after a week or so in favor of something else. Doesn't this play out with our relationships? We want to customize our friends and relationships so that we can get what we want. That is not how relationships with real people flourish though.

If knowing a person can be complex, then how much more complex is it to know God? Followers of Christ make the bold claim that they can know God. How can we know a God who we cannot see or hear from directly?

I can't write more now but this will be the beginning of how I lead to knowing God through Jesus Christ and Mark 1:9-13 provides a snapshot of Jesus, the Jesus who will be seen and known throughout the rest of the gospel of Mark...

Matching Feelings

2008-06-08T12:22:00.002-04:00

I am sitting in the hospital room where Carys was born last night at 10:08 PM. I am looking at her as I type and she is wrapped up in blankets and peacefully sleeping.

At 10:08 PM last night, I felt a feeling that I felt a month ago. I couldn't put my finger on exactly why I felt the same way but then I started to connect the dots.

Last month, I attended a pastor's conference at North Point Community Church. The Friday night session included a communion worship service with an intense set of music accompanied by an artist on stage painting Jesus. I remember receiving the bread and cup and then beginning to cry as I was overwhelmed by the reality of God's grace in my life. Grace. A surprise gift. God's unmerited favor. Grace.

I wept because I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for God's action in my life and for the world in Jesus' death on the cross and resurrection from the dead. I was knocked over by God's grace.

Last night, I felt the same exact feeling and it led to the same action, namely, crying by the bed where Carys was resting on Laurie. I heard her little cries and I saw her little brown eyes looking at me and I was overwhelmed again with gratitude for God's gifts in my life. I do not deserve such a gift but God has seen it fit to bless me with another little girl. That is God's grace.

I cried in two different places for what seemed like two different reasons. In fact, I cried for the same reason - a joyful response of gratitude for God's grace in my life.

7 Years

2008-05-27T00:05:00.002-04:00

Today, Laurie and I celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary. 7 years ago, our wedding ceremony took place at McLean Presbyterian Church about 10 miles outside of Washington D.C. She was working for Chuck Colson at Prison Fellowship Ministries and I had just started working at a software startup company called Intersect Software. We started our life together in Leesburg, VA.

We watched a video that our friends took when we first got engaged and then our rehearsal dinner. I was amazed at how much has changed since 2000-2001 (hair?) but also how much has remained the same. Over and over, I heard laughter (hence, the picture at the beginning of this post) in the background of all the gatherings that were captured on video tape. These gatherings included the sharing of story after story after story regarding the memories of close friends and family.

Laurie and I have shared a lot of laughter throughout our 7 years of marriage. We are now sharing that laughter with our two (soon to be three) girls. We are gaining more and more opportunities to share that laughter with our new friends here in Maple Valley and I am looking forward to the years ahead both here and wherever God takes us in the future.

7 years... my friends stole my underwear from my suitcase at this exact moment 7 years ago on May 26th, 2001. I still have plans for them...

Taking me back...

2008-05-21T17:51:00.002-04:00

Music has a profound impact on me. I am always surprised by how a specific song can call forward a memory from the distant past. I am sitting in a coffee shop right now and a random Gin Blossoms song from the mid-90s is playing in the background.

How is it that I can clearly picture driving in my old Chevy Corsica in the cold winter near Edison, NJ on the way to a college interview? I can remember getting lost on the way with one of my friends making fun of me in the front seat. If I close my eyes, then I feel like I am right there.

Music

I have often reflected on how I could put together a music set that captures memories from throughout my life. If I actually took on this project, then I would be able to relive every chapter of my life from the first day I remember music to now... That could be really scary or really amazing.

Cleaning Up

2008-05-20T00:48:00.002-04:00

Today, I assaulted the weeds in my front yard.

I was daydreaming during a meeting last week and my mind wandered to the uncontrollable weeds in my yard. I had a brilliant (not really) thought that basically went like this, "I have a weed whacker so go take down the weeds!!!"

This morning, I set out to do that. I started small but as I moved through the initial area I realized that I was only touching on the problem. I then systematically removed section by section until I could see the rock wall that was hidden beforehand. I started to see more and more results and that inspired me to continue the hard and dirty work.

In many ways, the experience points to numerous areas of life that often go unattended. For me, yard work often gets neglected but when I dedicate myself to the task I realize how I need to be doing it on a consistent basis to keep my yard clean. I can see how that pattern plays out in other areas too.

What weed whacking needs to be done in your life this week and in the coming weeks?

A Different Kind of Birthday

2008-04-09T00:54:00.002-04:00

I love my birthday. I really do. I have had some of the most incredible birthday experiences in my seemingly short 32 years of life. Ten years ago (1998), I woke up to find 3000 flyers around the University of Virginia celebrating my birthday with a twist. A few years before that, I gave up about 10 runs in a Junior Varsity baseball game and I came home to find 4 friends bringing me a cake when my parents were out of town on a college visit with my sister. Five years ago, Laurie gave me an XBox and Halo changed everything about video games for me and innumerable memories have been formed on the fields of Blood Gulch.

Yes, my birthday has yielded some of the best memories of my life without a doubt. I shamelessly love my birthday and I take that day to thank Jesus Christ for his grace in my life and connect with others who have been agents of that grace.

Today, was no exception.

On the surface, Facebook provides a shallow way to say "Happy Birthday" because a person simply has to post a message on a wall in order to share a birthday wish. I didn't care about whether it was shallow or not today because I enjoyed getting messages from friends and acquaintances from all chapters of my life.

I am truly a blessing person. God has put me in contact with 304983048930984 different individuals who I have enjoyed getting to know. Today, I was overwhelmed by messages from many of them - on Facebook, through email, on gmail chat, text messages, phone calls, meals, cakes, etc...

I love life. I love Jesus Christ. I love the fact that I can cherish days like this once a year (and actually every day if you know me).

If you wrote me, called me, or facebook'd me then THANK YOU for taking a moment to reconnect with me today on my birthday!

Open sharing

2008-03-31T00:43:00.003-04:00

Last weekend (Easter) at MVPC, we asked for questions from anyone who attended and they submitted questions before they left. The questions could be able anything regarding faith and life.

This morning, the topic for the sermon was "Being Real and Embracing Doubt." We featured a panel of the head pastor and two other pastors on staff instead of a regular sermon. Our outreach director asked the questions and the format was wide open. He asked some of the questions that were submitted but he also added additional questions based on text messages during the discussion and questions he felt led to ask.

I thought that I was going to be uneasy about the format but I truly enjoyed responding to the questions and discussing the points with the others on the panel. In many ways, I felt free to be a witness to Christ through the format. I didn't give the "right" answers and I know that I would respond differently to some of the questions if I could go back in time and do it again. However, the beauty of the panel format was I was able to speak freely and be open without trying to be perfect or overly calculated in my responses.

The primary topics were dinosaurs, evolution/creation, the Bible as literal? and homosexuality...

MVPC tried something new this morning and I was honored to be part of the experience.

God's Guiding Hand

2008-03-17T23:24:00.002-04:00

Years ago, I noticed a pattern that many of my mentors and friends were moving from the New York City area to Seattle. I thought to myself, "I wonder if I will ever follow in their steps." The list is a solid list:
- interim pastor of my home church in New Providence, NJ
- youth group intern (from PTS) during my senior year in high school
- Young Life area director from high school
- numerous friends who currently live in/near Seattle or others who lived here at one time

Two months ago, I found my former Young Life Director on Facebook and we set up a coffee meeting. We had not seen each other in 13 years. We talked about life, family, faith and Seattle. He mentioned that a Leadership Development Network met every month in north Seattle and he invited me to join them in March. He mentioned that the group was composed of leaders from his church (Sanctuary) and church planters in the Seattle area. Despite feeling exhausted, I drove in the pouring rain to Seattle last Friday to attend my first meeting. I arrived and felt right at home with numerous other leaders in their 20s and 30s.

The speaker was Ron Carucci of Mars Hill Graduate School (not to be confused with Mars Hill Church). He spoke on "The Inner War of a Revolutionary" and his words and the discussion awakened me to some of my greatest dreams and biggest fears. He described the forces that are at work in a leader - agency and ambivalence. He said that unfettered agency leaders to recklessness while unfettered ambivalence leads to paralysis. He shared that leaders often go back and forth between the two and that the struggle composes the "inner war" that leaders face. He made it clear that this battle will never end because leaders must constantly push forward and they will often encounter disappointment when plans and movements do not turn out like they envision.

He shared numerous other insightful thoughts such as most leaders are "Idea ATMs" that spit out ideas like money from an ATM. The primary challenge for these types of leaders is that they have to come to grips that a majority of their ideas will not come to full fruition and that they have to discover an outlet to record the ideas. He then stated that leaders must learn to mourn the reality that many of their ideas will not be implemented and move on. Otherwise, he said, resentment will set in.

I can go on and on with the wisdom that Ron shared with the group but I will have to let it come out in my life and leadership going forward.

Why did I share all of this? I found myself last Friday sitting in the presence of greatness (both the speaker and the group) and I realized that it all went back to a high school friend who invited me to a Young Life club in the Fall of 1990. I met Jim Caldwell, the area director, and 17 1/2 years later I reconnected with him and experienced what I experienced at the Leadership Development Network meeting.

Life is great!

I remember thinking 10 1/2 years ago at Gas Works Park that there was a special opening between heaven and earth in Seattle and I am not seeing anything to refute that hypothesis.

Seriously...

Reading in a rhythm

2008-02-24T00:30:00.002-05:00

Full-time church ministry doesn't often lead to long stretches of time to read unless the person carves out that time. I have read numerous books during my time at MVPC but most of the time I read in short, concentrated time periods. I have struggled to finish books (the classic challenge) and I have found myself jumping from book to book based on my energy level.

Currently, I am reading The Jesus Way by Eugene Peterson as part of my reading list for my upcoming continuing education trip. I decided to not pick up any other book until I finished this book. I have had many opportunities but I have refused. I call it the discipline of rejecting "double dipping" in terms of books.

In light of this decision, I have experienced a rhythm of reading that I haven't experienced since seminary. I can only describe the rhythm in terms of a sense of familiarity with the style, vocabulary and approach of the author. In many ways, I feel like I have had the privilege of sitting down with Eugene Peterson for a few days to talk about life, faith and The Jesus Way.

I have 50 pages to go and I do not plan on picking up another book until I finish this one.

I am looking for a fresh book list going forward and I have hit a wall in terms of ideas. If you are reading this, then I'd like to know 1-2 books that you would recommend that I read before I die. Ideas?

Practicing What I Preach (Literally)

2008-02-17T22:07:00.004-05:00

This morning, I preached on the basic truth that God responds to simple prayers of desperation. The sermon focused on the second half of the Lord's Prayer. I would provide the manuscript for you but I never wrote one.

Last month, I felt constrained by my manuscript in a sermon and I struggled with presenting the material. The largest contributor to my struggle was my feeling that I had to stay with my manuscript or at least the ideas on it. I received numerous feedback that I appeared tense and concerned about my points as I shared them. I realized that I had written over 75 papers in seminary but I had only written 5-6 sermons. I have had more practice writing papers than writing/delivering sermons and it was showing in my preaching. I consulted with my head of staff and he suggested that I should ditch the manuscript and try preaching from an outline.

This week, I decided to go one step further and ditch all of my notes. I was able to spend more time in prayer and reading about my topic as opposed to typing up a 12-15 page sermon manuscript. My prayers ended up matching the controlling theme of my sermon - that God would respond to a simple prayer of desperation or dependence. I needed God's help in sharing. I didn't share from a typed manuscript or even from a set of notes. Instead, I shared from what God had already truly taught me and I was able to communicate with Maple Valley Presbyterian as opposed to talking at them.

I honestly have not felt that comfortable with sharing in public since I shared at an InterVarsity event years ago. During that event, I shared from a 4 point outline that simply listed my main point, a few story references and a concluding Scripture verse.

I don't know if I will be able to consistently preach in this way but I would like to try it again. My preaching today required more dependence on God than any other time and I felt like I practiced what I preached - letting God respond to simple prayers of desperation (dependence).

Hosanna

2008-02-03T00:47:00.000-05:00

This blog is turning into a health report instead of a place for theological and cultural reflections. I put out a "SOS" in my last post and things have turned for the worse since then. Avery added another (4th) vomit to the mix later that evening and yesterday I was struck down with the flu. Thank God (literally) that the girls were in a deep sleep when the flu hit me. I felt like a truck knocked me over (even though I think that I would rather have that happen).

There is some good news though. Today, I called some friends who have servant hearts and asked them to take the girls for the afternoon. The girls went to their friends house and they were able to have fun without hanging around their wasted Daddy. They also were able to go to a birthday party that they otherwise would not have been able to attend with my fever and flu.

I slept for the entire 6 hours when they were gone. I feel a little better but I also feel the sickness creeping back. This battle is almost over but I am fighting away.

In light of all this, I have received new insights into the Hebrew expression "Hosanna" which means "please save" or "save now". I am not going to venture into the different interpretations of the term in the Gospels right now. It is amazing how being dead sick and feeling desperate takes away the complexities of life and boils it down to one word, "HELP!".

Today, the Lord provided help to me from some friends and some much-needed rest. My prayers of "deliver me from this!" and "please save" or "Hosanna" were heard. Praise God.

Take a listen to this song that has encouraged me for weeks now - http://vidsearch.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=8476067

Anyone Out There?

2008-01-31T18:34:00.001-05:00

Laurie is out of town in Florida visiting her friends from our time in Princeton. In the past, I have relished the opportunity to step up in order to take care of my two daughters. I was in that same position until something went terribly wrong this morning.

Avery climbed into my bed and was talking my ear off at 5:45 AM or so. She then vomited all over the place before I realized what was happening. Hours later, we were running an errand when she decided to provide a follow-up vomit explosion. Once again (10 minutes ago), she brought her very best again all over my couch.

The odd thing is that she seems to feel completely normal besides the random spouts (literally) of sickness.

I am doing well in spite of the insanity but I am realizing once again just how much Laurie takes on every day as a full-time parent.

I would have written something more theologically sophisticated if I had some brain power remaining but I am definitely in survival mode right now.

I am blogging on my church's new website (http://www.mvpc.net) so that is competing for posts at this point.

Now I know...

2008-01-21T23:43:00.000-05:00

During my years at Princeton, I could never figure out why everyone from Seattle wore fleeces (and drove Subarus). I now completely understand the benefits of wearing a fleece.

Today was supposedly one of the coldest days ever in the Seattle area (low near 25 degrees). I have learned quickly that big snow jackets are a rarity, if not an embarrassment out here. I probably would have worn on my big East Coast jackets today if it didn't make me look like the type of person that I am - an East Coast person.

I received a fleece as a Christmas gift and I have been wearing it every day. Today, I wore it up to the mountains and I didn't feel cold at all. In fact, I could barely tell that it was below 20 degrees.

This may seem like a boring observation to a majority of the fleece-wearing world but I am in total awe of the fleece.

There is nothing deep to this posting except perhaps the basic truth that I should never judge anyone too quickly because I always find out that my initial judgment is wrong and that I end up often discovering the truth behind another person's perspective. In this case, I judged my Seattle friends for wearing a fleece every day...

If I had a fleece back in the Princeton Seminary days, then I would be wearing one too...

GTW

2008-01-15T01:22:00.000-05:00

Years ago, my friends and I would talk about the "GTW" mindset where GTW stood for "Guaranteed To Win." In short, it became a life philosophy that was marked by an expectation for success in any and all situations.

Years later, I thought about the same three letters but this time they led me to "Get To Work." I am in that mindset right now. I have been observing great things at Maple Valley Presbyterian for the first 5 months of my time on staff. I have a lot of work to accomplish. I spent this morning in prayer over my areas of care and responsibility and I experienced a fresh vision of what I need to be doing.

Today, our staff took a day to be together in the mountains. We went snowshoeing for the afternoon in the pouring rain and I had the chance to grow closer to some special teammates at my church. There are many good challenges ahead and I am ready to bring the GTW philosophy and work ethic back to the table.

GTW

A Different Kingdom

2008-01-07T23:06:00.001-05:00

Bill Gates gave his final keynote at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES). Newsweek provided this quote about Gates,

Now, of course, after 11 appearances—eight on the eve of the show's formal opening—the Bill Gates keynote is a fixture here. Someone was quoted last week as saying that he's like the pope of the industry—which would make his regular Sunday-night presentation the benediction that blesses the orgy of commerce to follow. But this year's appearance marks an ending. Gates is leaving his full-time work at Microsoft this summer, and 2008 will be the last time he kicks off CES.

The pope reference reminded me of what I thought the moment that I met Bill Gates in the summer of 1997. I was software test engineer intern with the Microsoft Exchange Server product group and I had the opportunity to meet Gates at his home on Lake Washington. I clearly remember him walking down a path toward us (the interns) and talking for 15 minutes about technology, the future of Microsoft and the future of the personal computer industry. I was in awe.

I couldn't help but think then that I was in the presence of greatness. In an odd way, I could somehow identify with the disciples who listened to Jesus by the Sea of Galilee as he talked with authority about the kingdom of God - a new in-breaking reality that would change everything.

Gates' teaching by Lake Washington had a parallel feel even though he was sharing about a completely different kind of kingdom.

What are the marks of a leader who can speak with authority on subjects that can truly change everything?

Who am I...?

2008-01-07T00:16:00.000-05:00

I had the humbling privilege of leading Maple Valley Presbyterian Church in the Lord's Supper today during our worship services. I describe the experience as "humbling" because I was truly overwhelmed by the reality that I had the opportunity to announce the good news of Jesus Christ through the sacrament. Who am I to lead the people of God in such a holy moment?

This was only the second time that I led this sacrament. I was going to post some thoughts after my first experience in December but I failed to get my thoughts onto this blog. My experiences today were very similar to last month's.

I can't even begin to capture what I felt as I guided the congregation through the sacrament. I truly believe that the Lord Jesus encounters his people through the Lord's Supper beyond an intellectual remembering by the those who participate. I believe that just as the Holy Spirit works in and through the spoken words of sermon, the Holy Spirit works in and through the sacrament. A sermon is not merely a group of words that happen to have a meaning. Instead, the Holy Spirit reminds us what of what Jesus taught and forms us disciples for witness through the preached word. In a similar manner, I believe the Lord's Supper is not merely a ritual that helps us remember what Christ accomplished for us on the cross but that the actions, by the working of the Holy Spirit, shape Christ's disciples.

One of my mentor's demonstrated to me during my years in New Jersey how to lead the Lord's Supper with conviction. His conviction was rooted in Scripture, the gospel message, and reality that Christ was present in a significant way in that moment. My prayer was that I could follow that example and I sensed that God strengthened me to do that today.

Who am I to play that role? Thousands and thousands of leaders have led God's people in what I did today and I felt the weight of that privilege today. Thank God (literally) that he carried me along as I led others today.

In God's Presence

2008-01-05T11:02:00.000-05:00

I meditated on Psalm 24 this morning. I have come back to this Psalm over and over through the Company of New Pastors daily readings that include a Psalm.

Psalm 24:3-4

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift his soul to an idol.

I have reflected on this passage many times. Who may come into the presence of the Lord Almighty? Only those who have a pure heart. Who is responsible for the pure heart? God or the person? This is a classic question.

David, in Psalm 51, asks God to create in him a pure heart. God creates the pure heart. David asks for the pure heart.

I have experienced chapters of my life when I have felt close to God. I have experienced joy and freedom. I have been creative for him. I have been open to his leading.

In those moments, I could see - both physically and spiritually. In particular, the colors of the leaves seemed more green, red, orange, yellow, whatever. The individuals with whom God put me in contact seemed more real, more alive, more like who they truly are - God's creation who he loves more than I can imagine, no matter what they've done.

The song "Everything Glorious" by David Crowder is playing in the background. These reflections from Psalm 24 and that song lead me 2 Corinthians 3:17-18. "Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is, freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, and are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

That's my desire, my prayer, my true need - to have a pure heart, to have freedom, to be transformed into God's likeness with ever-increasing glory...

God Almighty, Heavenly Father, I praise you for your holiness that requires purity in your presence. I praise you for your Son who made the way for me to come into your presence with freedom, confidence, and boldness. Create in me a pure heart, only you can do it. I want to know you. I want to live in freedom. I want to be transformed for your purposes. I want to experience the joy of being known by you and knowing you. I love you. For your name's sake. Amen.

2008 - Closing the Gap

2008-01-01T10:20:00.000-05:00

I talked with a close friend yesterday about the good, the bad, and the ugly of 2007. We then turned our attention toward 2008 in light of what happened in 2007. One common theme was our desire to increase what I call "closing the gap."

The "gap" is the difference between what I need and want to do every day, week, month, year, forever and what I actually do. I always envision what I should be doing but actually following through on those ideas is a discipline that needs my attention and energy. The key word is energy.

Like all New Year's days, I set goals for the upcoming year. In 2008, I want to intentionally work on taking action in energy-creating activities as opposed to energy-draining activities so that I can have more energy to close the gap in all of the different aspects of my life.

Let's see what happens...

Two songs... Two overlapping worlds...

2007-12-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was finishing a run when I heard two songs back-to-back on my iPod. The first song is one that has always resonated in my imagination - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. This song has always captured my attention. Here are the lyrics:

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's f*%@ed up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

The next song that came on is one of my recent favorites by the David Crowder Band -"Everything Glorious." Here are the lyrics:

The day is brighter here with You
The night is lighter than its hue
Would lead me to believe
Which leads me to believe

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

My eyes are small but they have seen
the beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
there's light enough to see that

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory
You are glorious You are glorious
From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious
Which leads me to believe
why I can believe that

You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious.
You are glorious. You are glorious.

Two songs... Two different worlds. In many ways, I feel the pull between the two. Sometimes I feel like I am walking in this world alone (even though I am surrounded by close family, friends and a wonderful church family) and other times I feel like God is making everything glorious in and through me (especially in those same relationships).

The apostle Paul often uses the image of taking off the old and putting on the new for the Christian life. The reality in this life is that followers of Christ will never completely feel like they have taken off the old and put on the new but they do get a foretaste of that fully changed life. The old and new worlds overlap.

One of my prayers for 2008 is that it will be a year that includes a movement toward living a life worthy of the calling God has made on my life and that I will identify more with Crowder's song as opposed to Green Day's song (though I still love both of them).

What songs capture your imagination as you look back on 2007 and look toward 2008???

Flow of Criticism?

2007-12-27T17:35:00.000-05:00

At various points in my life, I have realized that I am a very critical person. I am constantly assessing situations, systems, organizations, leadership, etc. and then forming my opinion.

Recently, I have recognized a clear pattern in my criticism. The specific aspects that I criticize are often my exact weaknesses. I have realized that the things that bother me the most about other people are the things that bother me the most about myself.

What should I do with this realization? One response is to use this pattern to help me identify areas that I need to turn over to the Lord in prayer and to ask my closest friends for help in identifying when I continue these patterns. I can choose to ignore this pattern of criticism equaling self-criticism or embrace the opportunity for change.

In 2008, one of my goals is to move toward guarding my tongue regarding criticism for others and instead point the finger on myself.

My Timing (but not yours)

2007-12-12T03:16:00.001-05:00

I am increasingly becoming aware of a pattern of communication and yesterday I was the one who was responsible for it. More and more, I am seeing how cell phone calls are made mostly when the caller is en route and has a few minutes (or more) to make the call. The receiving person may or may not be available at that time.

Yesterday, I called a friend on the way home from the church. My "commute" is a mere 5-10 minutes depending on the number of green lights. I wanted to check in briefly with my friend but I didn't want to open a long conversation because I knew that my family was waiting for me at home.

Do you see the issue here? I mentioned "me" or "I" in that description of the call. I didn't let my friend know ahead of time that I was calling. I was calling him on my own terms. In fact, the conversation probably left him frustrated because I basically asked him a few quick questions and then gave him an update on life and then cut him off because I had arrived home.

I have been on both ends of this type of conversation.

How many of your recent cell phone conversations have ended with, "I've gotta go because I just arrived at my destination"?

My guess is that a lot of them have... Is there something wrong with this picture?

Picture of the Church?

2007-12-09T19:31:00.000-05:00

I was driving around a few nights ago with my family looking at Christmas lights. We saw a well-decorated community and we turned onto the street leading toward the lights. As we turned, I noticed right away that the community was a gated community and I was locked out!

I was baffled...

Why would a gated community with 9-10 homes (that is all that were in the community!) decorate their homes to the extent that they did? Do they really believe that they are providing "holiday cheer" just for themselves? My thoughts wandered to the types of conversations they must be having inside their community...

"Hey, great lights John, I really enjoy them. I put my lights so that you and our street could enjoy them. I'm glad that we are not like other communities that have tons of cars coming through to look at our lights. We get to look at each other's lights and reindeer and santa claus figures and enjoy them. Maybe later this week, we can sing Christmas carols to ourselves and walk down the street. Isn't that going to be a blast?"

In many ways, I've witnessed some churches follow the same patterns in a different arena. We put on our best "show" and "lights" but oftentimes only think about ourselves and who is inside our 'community'.

My prayer and goal is that I would be part of a church that doesn't exist like that gated community that I saw the other night.

I wonder how many people visit a worship service or drive by churches and feel baffled like I did the other night?

Worth reading...

2007-12-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

This book brings together many of the themes and specific ideas that I didn't "get" in seminary. I found myself thinking, "Why didn't we cover this?" over and over and over.

Fee and Stuart demonstrate the necessity of both exegesis and hermeneutics in bringing the Bible to bear on life today. They provide numerous reminders of why every Bible reader/interpreter needs to ask what the text says first, then what the text means (in its original setting) and then and only then what the text means for us today.

If you feel confused (as many do) about what to do when you open up your Bible, then read this book and you will be better equipped to let God speak to you (and your church) through the Bible.

More specifically, Gordan and Fee engage each part of Scripture and provide a framework and examples of exegesis and hermeneutics for each. Once again, I found myself thinking, "Why didn't my seminary professors find it important to talk plainly about these tools for interpretation?"

In many ways, my seminary Biblical studies classes focused on either of two extremes. 1. The very detailed Greek or Hebrew text critical issues and the scholarship behind the decisions and decision-making process.
2. The very high level social issues that surround the controversial passages.

The day-to-day reading and interpreting of Scripture for the life of the church and the followers of Christ who happen to be reading the Bible were not covered...

SO, this book is worth reading...

Building confidence

2007-12-01T01:35:00.000-05:00

I finally put together our foosball table after months of having it sit (in pieces) in my garage. Laurie's parents gave us their foosball table and I have been lazy.

Cambria loves playing foosball and she wants to play 3049830489083509 times per day. The game can be dangerous for her because the handles of the table are at her head level. Every time I move the players, I have to make sure that I do not hit her face.

In spite of that challenge, I am enjoying playing with her more every time because I am seeing her confidence grow. She is learning how to hit the ball and stop the ball so that she can control the game. She is far from being a real player but I can see how each small action builds her confidence in playing.

I am avid foosball player. I have many many many memories of playing at church during middle school and high school and at camps throughout that time. I am looking forward to the day that Cambria can provide some real competition and we start keeping a family scoreboard!

Until then, anyone want to come over to play some foosball?

Just when you thought...

2007-11-29T00:30:00.000-05:00

Maybe it is because I am reading Karl Barth again...
Maybe it is because it is the Christmas season...
Maybe it is because Jesus is getting my attention...

but I am remembering what it means to be 'Christocentric' in my understanding of God and the world. Christocentric meaning Christ-centered, meaning Christ is the beginning and the end (and everything in between) for knowing God and the knowing my role in the world that God created and rules.

I was asked today by a small group leader for a recommendation for a study on the life and teachings of the apostle Paul. I was reading through Galatians and I landed on v. 3:13 - Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."

I remembered the background on this verse and God revealed a new insight to me that I had never considered. The background is Deuteronomy 21:23 and the assertion in the law of Israel that "anyone hung on a tree is under God's curse."

Saul (before Paul) lived his whole life with this assumption in mind. This assumption was apart from the revelation of God in Jesus Christ. Apart from Christ, his worldview was shaped by the assumption that anyone who was hung on a tree was under God's curse. The idea of God's anointed one (Messiah) fitting that description was a scandal!

BUT, just when he thought that he had God's ways all figured out, the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ changed this specific assumption upside down and then turned Saul's world upside down based on God's revelation of himself in Jesus Christ.

Apart from Christ (and his turning this curse upside down), Saul would have had no reason to question his understanding of God. Saul could have kept his interpretation of Deuteronomy 21:23 but he changed his view of God in light (revelation) of the person and work of Jesus Christ.

This meditation challenges me to consider the conceptions of God that I have that stand apart from Jesus Christ and need to be reworked in light of Christ.

What "just when you thought..." assumptions do I have that need to be changed (repent = change of the mind)?

In his discussion of the doctrine of election, Barth reminded me to avoid relying on human experience or abstract conceptions as my starting point for knowing God when he says on p. 35 of II/2

It is only natural that in spite of all the accompanying good intentions and moments of truth, such statements and decisions are endangered by their doubtful and possibly erroneous starting-point. It is only natural that they can themselves become a danger, perhaps inevitably so. We must at this point recall the basic rule of all Church dogmatics: that no single item of Christian doctrine is legitimately grounded, or rightly developed or expounded, unless it can of itself be understood and explained as a part of the responsibility laid upon the hearing and teaching Church towards the self-revelation of God attested in Holy Scripture."

I'm looking forward to some more "just when you thought..." moments.

Upside Down

2007-11-27T00:21:00.000-05:00

Everything is upside down from a few months ago. I lived on the East Coast a few months ago, now I live on the West Coast. I cheered for a team that I thought was heading to the playoffs (the Mets) a few months ago, now I still do not know how they failed to make it. I was an "everyday" person in the church without any expectations a few months ago, now I feel the need to be "on" all the time.

One other area is upside down - my reading life. In seminary, I found myself tired after a long day of theological reading and I drifted toward "practical" books in the evening - leadership, small group ministry, world movements, culture. Now, I swim in real life situations all day as a small groups pastor and I drift toward deep theological reading in the evening.

In the past few days, I returned to a theologian who challenged me during my time at Princeton - Karl Barth. I do not agree with all of Barth's theological starting points but I definitely agree with how he starts (and stays) with Jesus Christ in all of his theological reflections. I am reminded over and over (over and over and over) of God's fulfilled promises in Christ through reading Barth.

I am verbose and I oftentimes use more words than necessary to explain a concept or my feelings. Barth definitely fits that description and I actually enjoy reading his long long long descriptions and insights.

One of my closest friends at seminary challenged me to do an independent study on Barth in order for us to learn how to read him and be able to return to him in future chapters of life. I am in a new chapter of life and I feel like I am still able to read and understand Barth.

Everything is upside down but that is not such a bad thing...

sometimes...

2007-11-25T00:25:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I put on the shuffle option on my ipod and the songs just fall into place.

That happened tonight...

I went for a short drive to return some items the grocery store and library. I hit the shuffle option and then 4-5 songs hit me right where I was - November 24th, 2007 at 4:45 PM...

That time will never come again.

Life is moving fast and I need reminders of just how much I overlook God's grace that comes in more ways than I perceive.

Today, 4-5 songs that basically said, "Jeff, relax and enjoy life a little" brought me back to a state of joy and gratitude.

Shuffle away and see what happens...

Deep as a Puddle?

2007-11-24T01:05:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I feel like I am a deep person. At other times, I feel like I just float through life. I do know that after my 3 year seminary experience, I have the potential to go deep on a variety of fronts.

Years ago, I sat down with a friend at Dunkin Donuts in Leesburg, Virginia and we talked about the purpose of the church. We witnessed how our church operated with a "come and see" approach with the goal of getting as many people into the building as possible on a Sunday morning. The working assumption was that a person would move from "trying out" a worship service to possibly investigating Christianity to possibly becoming a Christian and then over years and years of classes and sermons would then become a "strong" Christian who would serve in the church (and maybe outside the walls of the church).

We embodied discontent that night at Dunkin Donuts.

That friend introduced me to a few books that challenged my understanding of the church and one year later I found myself at Princeton seminary asking the same questions. I found some answers in my studies of missional theology. The church does not exist merely for itself, the church is called together by Jesus Christ and sent to engage the world with the gospel and to invite others into God's "sphere of rule." Being a Christian, means being a witness to Christ in all aspects of life all the time. I am convinced more than ever that the gospel is shared not merely by words (logical propositions that require intellectual agreement) but by deeds done in Christ's Spirit's power AND explanatory words. Christ is at work through his people.

I learned these patterns. I can envision how they can play out in the local church.

BUT, I still embody discontent right now (and there are no Dunkin Donuts out here near Seattle).

Why?

because I heard a description of the church a few days ago that was a deep as a puddle...

Puddles are not deep...

I already was tempted to give up on the local church and I am just getting started. Don't worry, I am not even close to giving up. In fact, I am more motivated than ever to seek the Lord's face for direction on how I can be faithful with my responsibilities as a small groups pastor so that I can enable my local church to engage our Internet-driven culture with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

If the guy who was with me at Dunkin Donuts (the donut) is reading this, then hear a word of thanks for some great discussions that still ring out in my soul today.

Empty

2007-11-21T21:20:00.000-05:00

I remembered tonight why I need to run (and run often!). My last jog was probably 2 weeks ago. The past 1 1/2 weeks included preparing/preaching a sermon, teaching the final two classes on studying scripture, fighting a persistent cough/head cold and a zillion other responsibilities (felt that way).

The first thing to go in times of stress is exercise. I remembered tonight that I should carve out space for exercise as soon as those stressful times comes. I ran for a short 2-3 mile run and now I feel like a new person.

I do not think about anything when I run. I simply run. My brain is empty. I believe that my brain rests during times of exercise. My mind is always on the "go" and I need those times.

Somewhere...

2007-11-01T00:23:00.000-04:00

Every so often, I come across a song that simply captures what my soul is singing in that exact moment. I heard the song "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane multiple times on the radio a few years ago but I never purchased the song. I heard the song again a few days ago and then looked it up.

Today, I took a walk near the Cedar River in my new town of Maple Valley, WA. In many ways, I was built for this town because there are 309483409834089 trails. I needed to step away from the details of church ministry and simply pray and be still before the Lord. I took a walk and I heard this song in the back of my mind, especially as I stood on a bridge and observed the clear water rush over the rocks below.

Here are the lyrics to the song... This is me. Period.

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land,
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.
I felt the earth beneath my feet,
Sat by the river and it made me complete.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

I came across a fallen tree,
I felt the branches; are they looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.
SO if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know.

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So, tell me when you gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.
SO if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, so why don't we go,

Hmmm yeahh,

This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know.

High point (in terms of sports)

2007-10-22T00:40:00.000-04:00

This graph does not reveal any data that pertains to this topic. I just needed a graph to show that I am in a unique place as a sports fan. I have rarely been on the winning side of any sports team. Every year, I get excited about the possibilities and then come crashing down as the year progresses. I continue to work on preventing sports from influencing my outlook on life but I would lie if I said that I have purged myself of all such influences.

Today, I can say that after two horrible starts to my favorite football teams, they both are on a roll. UVA lost to Wyoming (who?) and then they reeled off 7 straight wins. In a similar way, the NY Giants (G-MEN!) lost to Dallas and Green Bay and then they have reeled of 5 wins in a row. They are both on the way up!

Why did I blog about this relatively insignificant development? I find myself blogging when my teams implode but I never capture the moment when they are on the way up. Today, I can claim that they are on the way up. Sure, they will lose and lose badly in the near future but I can claim victory today and that is all I am concerned about right now.

On another note, I have started to rediscover the joy of reading significant books by authors who have something more to offer than a recent trend. I should have some deeper thoughts in the coming days but I had to capture this moment.

Two choices

2007-10-17T01:32:00.000-04:00

I am not a Rockies fan and this entry has nothing to do with baseball. The only baseball reference is to the manager of the Rockies who said yesterday that "in life, you are either humbled or you will be humbled."

I learned that lesson today.

I did not feel prideful after my sermon on Sunday but I did feel like I was feeling more at home at MVPC. Today, I had a difficult time pulling together the materials for my inductive Bible study class and I ended up tanking the class. I attempted to make copies of my materials and I created an insurmountable challenge (organizing and punching holes in 390483049830483048 pieces of paper). I barely had everything ready for the class and I was very flustered for most of the class.

The class participants (~40) followed my teaching for the most part and participated in all of the activities. I did not feel like I gave my best and I owe them more than I provided tonight.

Clint Hurdle, the Rockies manager, said it best, "You are humbled or you will be humbled soon."

Lost in Music

2007-10-14T23:25:00.000-04:00

I am posting twice in a day because I feel like it. :)

I am experiencing something that I haven't experienced in a long time. I am sitting down and getting lost in music. I have had an intense week and I am taking a break to do something that I enjoy. Years ago, a close friend asked me what I enjoyed doing the most. In other words, if I had free time, then how I would use it for enjoyment. I answered that I would turn up the music loud and get lost in a song (or two or 10 or more).

I don't know how or why I became "that guy" who stopped listening to music after I had kids but I have become that person. Every once and awhile though, I have a moment of rediscovery and I am moved almost to tears when I consider how much music can take me beyond myself. Of course, songs that help me focus on Jesus Christ, my wife, and the greater things of life are the ones that move me most.

I miss what I am experiencing what I am breathing in right now. Music...

Learning as I Go...

2007-10-14T19:26:00.000-04:00

Today, I preached my third sermon at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church. I am far from a strong preacher and I feel like I learn something new each time. This morning, I took a few more steps forward.

I preached on Ephesians 5:21-33 and the sermon title was "The Essence of Marriage." The sermon was the fifth in a seven part series and David Diehl (head pastor) has preached all the other sermons. The theme of the sermon was that married couples need to intentionally nurture the new flesh (person) reality in order to experience their God-given friendship. The primary word picture was the chemical reaction that occurs between sodium and chloride to form a whole new compound - salt. A husband and wife come together like two chemicals and form a whole new person in marriage. If they do not intentionally nurture this new reality, then they will slip into mediocrity as separate individuals instead one unified flesh.

I had received some very helpful feedback from my mentor and others after my last sermon in September. I attempted to put some of those ideas into practice this time around. The main change from my view was I spent more time in prayer throughout the preparation. I can see how that played out in more ways than I can begin to summarize.

I have a long, long, long way to go as a preacher but I am learning to put myself in a position that let's God speak through me without calling attention to myself.

Grace and A New Chapter

2007-10-07T23:17:00.000-04:00

I am about to experience a new chapter in my life. Laurie bought me an XBox in 2003 (3 months before Cambria was born) and that started the Halo revolution. My memories of playing Halo on Valemount Terr in Leesburg, VA still rank as some of my favorite moments with my friends in my life. Halo 2 came into play during my time at Princeton Seminary mostly online with Virginia friends.

Tonight, I am about to jump into Halo 3. A friend (whose name will remain unspoken) has been amazingly generous by giving me not only an XBox 360 but also a copy of Halo 3. Any gamer will know that these gifts go beyond words in terms of generosity. Grace is a word that comes to mind as well.

A friend from my new home group called me tonight and invited me to join him in playing some Halo 3. I am rusty but I am ready to jump back in the game! Here is the difference from Halo 2 according to one source...

Halo 3 Vs. Halo 2

Posted May 17, 2007

For those still on the fence, here's a comparison of Halo 2 and Halo 3 to help you make up your mind.

Why?

2007-10-02T01:03:00.000-04:00

I realized once again this week that sports has more of a control on me than I would like. I tried to not let the Mets implosion impact any area of my life besides my sports side but I was unable to contain the overflow of disgust.

This morning, however, I woke up with a sense of freedom because I will not have to track with the MLB playoffs as closely in the coming weeks. I am leading a 7-week class on studying Scripture and preaching on Oct 14th so the Mets' choking ends up helping me.

Still, I realized how much my childhood love for the drama of playoff baseball remains in me. I do not want to completely cut off that passion for sports but I do want to cut off the sick feeling that I had when I saw that Tom Glavine gave up 7 runs in the first inning (hall of famer eh?)...

Am I capable of cutting off one without the other?

Nasty Celebration

2007-09-24T00:19:00.000-04:00

Today was the final day in my long march through the Presbyterian ordination process. I was officially installed as an associate pastor at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church today and I am finished with filling out endless forms and attending endless meetings.

I will be the first to admit that I grew significantly through the process and I am a stronger pastor due to my intentional (required) times of reflection and examination. I was reminded from my reading of Chrysostom's "Six Books on the Priesthood" of just how serious my calling is into full-time church ministry. By God's grace, I am to play the role of leading God's people in their mission in the world.

With all that said, my family decided to celebrate by going to a Chinese restaurant tonight. I haven't found a good Chinese restaurant here in Maple Valley or the surrounding area yet. I have been blessed with some of the best places and my Dad has helped me discern between good restaurants and others. Tonight, we went to a place that was nasty. I can't think of any other word to describe the food.

I cannot remember a time that I have been that disappointed with a Chinese meal.

I miss NY City (China Town).
I miss the Jade Isle (childhood Chinese restaurant in NJ)
I miss the Silver Maple (parents' choice in NH)

I miss real Chinese food!

Anyone have any suggestions for the Seattle area? I need help!!!

simply showing up

2007-09-11T00:27:00.000-04:00

A good friend of mine preached a sermon last year with the theme 'simply showing up' and I have encountered similar themes since then ("Just Walk Across the Room").

I rarely share on this blog about anything that is super deep or emotional but tonight the Lord called on me to show up in a place that I did not anticipate. At 3 PM, I was bringing Cambria home from preschool when I heard a series of fire trucks and ambulances drive by. Upon arriving home, I saw what appeared like an accident on the street at the bottom of the hill on which I live. Time went by and I heard helicopters outside and then I turned on the news and discovered that a teenage boy had been killed by a dump truck when he was riding on his skateboard right near my home.

I didn't know what to do. I delayed. I started to grill some burgers. And then I sensed the call to GO and be available.

I was scared and I didn't know what to do as I walked down the hill. I remember a close friend at CPE last year say "You need to show up and be the CHAPLAIN in tough times." With those words of encouragement and prayers, I arrived at the scene and talked with one of the EMT members. He said that a chaplain was on site but that there were many others who needed assistance. I stood next to a few families and a woman was hysterically shaking next to me.

I am not going to give any details but the next 2 hours was perhaps the most powerful moments for me as a Christian. I listened to one family (not the family of the teenage boy) in particular as they shared their grief, their loss, their guilt, their struggles, and their sorrow.

After the time, I asked to pray for the husband and he welcomed the prayer. I also was able to share one last time with the rest of the family before they left.

Simply showing up...

I thanked the Lord Jesus Christ for the privilege of being his listening presence and word of comfort and hope in the midst of this tragedy.

Who am I to play that role? Nobody special. Only that I was given the courage to follow the call of the very one who called me to serve that family in the first place.

My prayers are with this boy's family as they grieve the loss of their son.
My prayers are with the driver who accidentally hit the boy.
My prayers are with the family with whom I sat for 2 hours.
My prayers are with all the high school students who will be asking "Why?" tomorrow.
My prayers are with Maple Valley, WA as we mourn the loss of a teenage boy whose life should have continued beyond Sept 10th, 2007.

Please pray for all of us if you have read this blog entry... that is one way that you can show up for everyone mentioned above.

A Humble Reminder

2007-09-07T12:06:00.000-04:00

I was able to relax this morning (my one true day off) and I take some time to reflect on my first month in full-time church ministry. The transition from NJ to WA was so intense that I barely took time to prepare for all of the changes. I had heard of the numerous pulls that would be put on my time and how I would be overwhelmed by the challenge of coming up to speed with everything.

Years ago, I remember feeling unworthy when I was asked to serve as president of the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship chapter at UVA. I remember thinking "they have the wrong person in mind" when they asked me to consider applying for the position. Later on, I decided to apply after spending significant time in prayer and reading through the stories of Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah, and many others who questioned their ability to lead God's people. I was encouraged by how they all followed the call with God's provision, guidance, and grace.

I realized yesterday after 4 weeks in the locla church and from reading St. John Chrysostom's "Six Books On The Priesthood" that I need to return to that humble place. Chrysostom, in this writing, details why he does not feel worthy to serve in the priesthood, especially in light of the real struggles that face those in leadership. In light of this writing, who am I to think that I can lead and shepherd God's people on my own strength and own understanding?

Chrysostom provided this humble reminder on how I need guidance in leadership. He provided this description of the qualities of a person who leads in the church:

Consider, then, what qualities a person needs if he is to withstand such a tempest and deal successfully with these obstacles to the common good.
He must be dignified yet modest,
impressive yet kindly,
masterful yet approachable,
impartial yet courteous,
humble but not servile,
vehement yet gentle,
in order that he may be able to calmly to resist all these dangers and to promote a suitable man with full authority, even though everyone opposes him, and reject an unsuitable man with equal authority, even though everyone favors him. One thing along he must consider: the edification of the Church. He must do nothing out of hostility or favour.

He reminded me that I need to avoid the extremes of (1) pleasing people at all costs (2) alienating people.

He reminded that favor does not automatically equal true authority (authority that follows the pattern of Christ).

He reminded me that the goal is the edification of the church and not me or anything else related to reputation.

I need these humble reminders. That is why I keep reading leaders who have struggled through leadership in the church throughout the history of the church (not just the past 2 years).

Is anyone else challenged by his reflection?

First 'real' sermon

2007-09-04T01:50:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, I delivered my first sermon as the small groups pastor at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church. I preached at two services and my prayer was that I would encourage MVPC to stand strong together through putting on the full armor of God and prayerfully taking concrete actions of faith. Here is the manuscript, I haven't posted anything like this before so here it goes...

Standing Strong Together
Ephesians 6:10-24
September 2nd, 2007 @ MVPC

Before we get started in Ephesians 6 this morning, I want to first say Thank You on behalf of my wife, my two daughters and me. After four packed weeks of activity, we are beginning to feel at home here in Maple Valley. We have experienced God’s love and grace through so many of you that I cannot even begin to count the number of ways that you have welcomed us. Yesterday, the staff came over to our house to paint and we covered most of the top floor of our home in 5 fun-filled hours. Laurie and I would have taken anywhere from 4-5 days to paint what we painted yesterday. I was reminded of how much the body of Christ can accomplish great things together. I was also reminded of how small groups, in this case the staff, flourish when they take action together to serve God and meet a specific need that he lays on the group’s heart. David took the lead and he relentlessly pursued the idea with the staff and they stepped up even though it was a beautiful day without a cloud in the sky. For that, and EVERYTHING else, I say “Thank You.”

This morning we are in the final chapter in the book of Ephesians and our passage is Ephesians 6:10-24. I have fallen in love with this book as we have heard messages from David, Will, and Steve. Ephesians is a faith-grounding letter that brings together the primary themes of the Christian faith. Will started this series by pointing us to Paul’s reminder in Ephesians 1 of God’s calling in our life; how Jesus Christ reveals that God is a pursuing God who calls us to a new life and provides the way to experience that life both now and for eternity. David then pointed to how followers of Christ share a common identity and how the church by its very nature should resist our tendencies toward racism and anything that separates individuals from each other. Will then challenged us to live a life worthy of the calling as seen in Ephesians 4. David then provided the sobering reminder that we are indeed responsible for putting on our new identity in Christ and turning from disobedience. Last week, Steve showed how this plays out in the concrete relationships as married couples, parents, children, employers and employees. He reminded us that we need to be filled with the Spirit of Christ in order to live a life of selflessness.

That brings us to today. In many ways, the last chapter in Ephesians is like the final dramatic scene in a movie or the best part of a song or the exciting moment in a sporting event. What are some common attributes of these? Think about these moments in movies, songs and sporting events. In many ways, each of these brings together everything that has been building up to that point. When you are watching a movie, you can tell when everything in the movie is coming to a head. In a romantic drama, the couple who has been apart for the entire movie comes together due to circumstances beyond their control but everything just seems right. In a song, the combination of the chorus and verses and the rhythm and notes leads up to a point where you find yourself closing your eyes to take in the sweetness of everything coming together. In a sporting event, it is like a Seattle Mariners game when J.J. Putz comes out in the ninth inning to AC/DC and everyone stands up in expectation that the game will soon be over. Everything comes together.

Ephesians 6 is that moment. Ephesians 6 brings everything together. Ephesians 6 is what you have all been waiting for. We don’t often talk about the Bible in those types of words, images, and emotions but we should. Just picture the apostle Paul writing this majestic letter, he must have been salivating at the opportunity to bring everything together in this final chapter about Jesus Christ and our life together in him. What would he say? How would he say it?

Let’s read it together… Ephesians 6:10-24 Page 830

“Finally, be strong in the Lord.” “Therefore, put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” “Stand you ground.” “Stand firm.” The word “stand” appears throughout this passage and that is a clear indicator that it carries an important message to which we should pay close attention. Stand. God is encouraging us and commanding us to “Stand Strong Together.”

When was the last time you went to a beach at high tide? Or at least at a time when the waves were crashing to the ground? Picture with me how people respond to the ocean during those times of the day. Some people stay back and observe. Some people will walk up close to the edge of the tide and dip their toes in the water while thinking, “There is NO way that I am going into those waves.” Some people, and maybe you are this type of person, see this as a challenge and go directly into the ocean. For these people, the size of the waves invites a confrontation with God’s creation and an opportunity to test out whether they can withstand the brunt of the powerful waves.

I have to admit that I am that type of person and I always have been. I can clearly remember my first trips to the beach as a child. I often would go with my cousin Douglas. Oftentimes, we would end up at the beach right at high tide, right when the waves seemed two, three or four times taller than us. Even now, I can smell the salt water and feel the grains of sand under my feet and hear the repeated crash of the waves. Doug and I would team up together to take on the waves. We would create a pact that neither one of us would turn around unless we both agreed to give up or both of us ended up flat on our face in the sand. For us, this was fun! I can standing next to Douglas as wave after wave would smash into our bodies. Most of the time, we didn’t take a defensive posture. Instead, we would kick at the waves or throw our bodies into the waves or attempt to dive over them. We stood our ground together and we enjoyed every moment of it.

This morning’s passage reveals that whether we like it or not, whether we choose to recognize it or not, we are situated in that type of ocean. We have no choice in the matter. The preceding chapters in Ephesians have given us glimpses of the struggle that we encounter as followers of Christ. This chapter shows that we live in a world that oftentimes feels like the ocean waves are crashing against us week after week, day after day, and hour after hour. Don’t we feel that way when we you encounter challenges in life that threaten to knock us over? Don’t we feel that way as we look at our relationships and we realize that we struggle to get to a point of feeling like we are the spouses, parents, and friends that we would like to be? Don’t we feel that way when we give in to a temptation that plagues us and does not look like it is ever going to go away? Don’t we feel that the waves are crashing against us all the time?

You see, the apostle Paul did not leave us without addressing the sobering reality of these challenges. How did he address these concerns for those who heard this letter years ago? And how does God address these concerns in our lives as we hear this letter today? He encourages us to stand strong together. Stand strong together.

Let’s look at four different ways that these wise words play out this morning.

First, we need to “Stand! Being strong in the Lord.” Paul starts this section with the word “finally.” He is setting aside this section to give us the take-home message that he has been building toward throughout the letter. Another way to translate the word is “from now on,” meaning that in light of all that we have heard now we are live in a different manner. When is the last time that you have had a “stake in the ground” moment when you said to yourself, things are going to be different now? This weekend is Labor Day weekend, a natural point in the calendar year to reassess our lives and to purge the bad and hold on to the good aspects of life; a natural point to re-establish some goals and remove the activities that cloud our vision for life; a natural point to say “from now on” we are going to re-orient our lives toward Jesus Christ and one another.

How can we go about this re-orientation, this pointing our lives back to Jesus Christ? We are instructed to be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Our tendency in 21st century United States is to only hear these words in individual terms. In other words, to hear “I need to be stronger on my own.” The command, however, is meant for a group. Another way to say this would be “finally, all of you be strong” or “you all” or dare I say it “y’all” be strong.

Over and over in Ephesians and in other New Testament books, the body of Christ is a metaphor employed to describe the church. Jesus Christ is the head of the body and followers of Christ are connected to Jesus and to one another in the body. When is the last time that you reflected on the fact that as followers of Jesus Christ you are connected to him? Some of my favorite verses in all of Scripture are in the gospel of John in chapter 15 where Jesus describes himself as the vine and his followers as the branches. He says that if we abide (or stay connected) with him and he abides in us, then we will bear much fruit or flourish for him. In the same manner, when Paul encourages us to be “strong in the Lord,” the “in the Lord” points to the reality that Christians are “in Christ” or abiding in Christ.

When was the last time you felt “strong in the Lord”? For some of us, we may have never felt that or if we have it has been a long time since we could say that we have actually felt strong in Christ. For me, I feel strong in the Lord when I am with others who are also seeking to follow Christ. My home group is the primary example. I feel “at home” when I am connected to other people in the church beyond Sunday mornings. Over and over, as I have led small groups and small group ministries I have heard individuals say that they feel strong in the Lord when they are known by others, they are able to share their burdens with others, they are able to make a difference with others through serving. I believe that we all want to be a part of something greater than ourselves and that God has given us that desire to be connected with him and to one another and to do whatever God has gifted us to accomplish in this world.

We need each other. We need to stand strong together. As the waves of life crash against us, we need to “Stand, Being Strong in the Lord” together.

Second, we need to “Stand, Putting on the Armor of God.” The apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:11 says “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” Do you see the conflict here? The full armor of God is set against the devil’s schemes and vice versa. He goes on to explain further in v. 12 when he says “For our struggle is not against the flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” These verses have been a source of questions throughout church history. What is Paul describing? What can we figure out about this struggle from these verses? There are a numerous paths that we could take but this morning I want to focus on the fact that no matter how we interpret the nature of these entities, we have to constantly remind ourselves that life involves more than what we experience through our five senses, more than what we can touch, smell, see, taste, and hear.

We easily forget that we are in a conflict because there are more than enough distractions to capture our attention throughout the day. Like I said earlier, we are in a conflict whether we actively acknowledge that or not. Like the ocean waves, everything that pulls us away from Christ, from each other, and a world in desperate need of God’s grace constantly attempts to knock us over. So which type of opponent is more dangerous, one that you actively identify or one that is at work but you are unable to see it? Paul is reminding us that we need to look beyond our five senses and remember that more is happening in the struggle for our hearts and devotion.

So why does Paul encourage us to put on the full armor of God? He wants us to remember that we do not live in a neutral world. He wants us to remember that we have to actively struggle against that which would tear us away from God. He wants us to remember that we have access to not only the armor of God that equips us for the struggle but that we have access to Jesus Christ himself. Once again, the command “to put on the full armor of God” is given to a group. As the waves of life crash against us, we need to stand strong together, putting on the full armor of God.

Third, we need to “Stand, Receiving God’s Provision Together.” The apostle Paul lists the pieces of the full armor of God. We don’t have time to go through them one by one this morning. There are numerous studies on the significance of each individual piece and I can point you to those if you are interested. For today, I would like to focus on how we receive the last two items listed – the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit. God has provided what we need to stand strong together in our daily struggle.

This brings us back to the question that we have raised throughout our sermon series on the book of Ephesians. What are the roles in the struggle? Is God the one primarily fighting for us or do we have a responsibility? The answer is both. David talked about how we need to put off the old and put on the new. We wouldn’t be able to take this action apart from what God has done for us in Christ. As followers of Christ, we have to still have to act and give our best effort in the struggle knowing that God is ultimately giving us everything we need.

In v. 13, Paul says “and after you have done everything.” The verb that he uses there is the same verb that he used in Philippians 2:12 when he says to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” The word means to work through or to be successful in the face of obstacles. Isn’t this what we want in the Christian life? We want to be successful in the face of obstacles. We want to overcome the things that keep us from God and from each other. In light of Steve’s sermon last week, we want to overcome that which keeps us from being good friends, spouses, parents, sons, daughters, employees, and employers. We are in a constant struggle and we need God to come to our rescue (salvation) and his Word for strengthening, direction, and encouragement (sword of the Spirit, the word of God).

Again, this weekend is Labor Day weekend - To labor, to work through. to overcome obstacles. Paul is reminding us to put on the full armor of God that God has provided and to stand strong together as we seek to overcome our daily obstacles by God’s grace. As the waves of life crash against us, we need to “Stand, Receiving God’s Provision Together.”

Fourth, we need to “Stand, Taking Action Fueled by Prayer.” Paul gives these wise words after finishing the list of the pieces of the armor of God, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” Like Steve said last week, we cannot expect anything to change unless we are filled by the Spirit of God. The apostle Paul shows us that prayer is a key in living this kind of Spirit-filled life.

He draws out two requirements for our prayers. First, prayer is not an option. This verse makes that very clear. In fact, Paul makes the case for the all-encompassing need for prayer by using the word “all” or “always” four times. On “all” occasions, with “all” kinds of prayers and requests, “always” keep on praying, for “all” the saints. There is no time off. There is never a neutral moment.
Second, prayer needs to be a communal exercise, not just an individual undertaking. There are obviously times for individual prayer but we see here how we need to be in prayer together if we are to stand strong together.

We see this in the two commands that are easy to miss. He says to be alert or watchful. The word for this action means to “look after, or care for” as in leaders who keep watch over their people as seen in Hebrews 13:17. This is not a neutral watching but alertness that involves deep caring for other people. This reminds me of a neighborhood watch program. In that program, if it is working, individuals do not merely look out for themselves but they look out for the entire neighborhood. They are keeping watch.

The other command is to always keep on praying for all the saints. There is a devotion and perseverance in these prayers. Did you notice the small phrase “for all the saints”? They are constantly looking out for one another. Who is looking out for you? Who are you looking for? As the waves of life crash against us, we need to stand strong together, taking action fueled by prayer.

So what is our response to all of this? If we truly are in a daily, moment-by-moment struggle then what practical steps can we take to stand strong together here at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church and wherever God has us in our weekly endeavors? I’ll give you three quick responses to consider.

First, we need to remember the full picture. Every day we need to wake up and be reminded that we do not live in a neutral world. There is a struggle and we are fooling ourselves if we think that reality is only found in what we can touch, taste, smell, see, and hear. We need to remember the full picture. We need to encourage each other to spend time reading and studying Scripture with others so that we can be reminded of the truth and of how God has given us the full armor of God in light of this struggle.

Second, we need to initiate concrete actions. God has given us everything that we need but we have to intentionally act. “Put on” on the new self. “Put on” the full armor of God. We do have a choice. We can ignore reality and let all that opposes God pull us from God, from each other, and from the world that desperately needs God’s grace or we can stand strong together and take our stand against the devil’s schemes.

I want to pause to highlight of specific scheme. We heard a few weeks earlier in Ephesians 4:27 that we should not let the devil get a foothold. That verse refers to letting anger go unchecked and letting it lead to sin. Everything that opposes God wants us to be divided – friendships to dissipate, marriages to crumble, parent-child relationships to go sour, employees and employers to lack trust in one another, individuals to remain disconnected from others. As followers of Christ, we are given the command to be reconciled to one another, to forgive each other and to take the initiative in making things right between each other. These are hard words.

Brothers and sisters, if we are to stand strong together, then we have to be united. That doesn’t mean that we all have to think the same exact way or agree on specifics on every interpretation of Scripture or issue. It does mean that we are, as God commands in Ephesians 4:31, “to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” We need to take concrete action with one another. I want you to take a moment and think about someone with whom you need to work out some “stuff” in your relationship. Maybe it is someone who you need to forgive or someone who has wronged you. It may be someone in this room right now. Consider how you can contact that person this week and schedule a time when you can sit down face-to-face and try again to be reconciled.

Someone gave me this sobering reminder a few years ago and I followed up on his wise words. I called the person and set up a time to meet. When we got together, I shared that I felt wronged by his specific actions and he eventually acknowledged the problem. The conversation was difficult and awkward but we moved on from that time without the bitterness that marked our relationship up to that point. Friends, we need to stand strong together and initiating concrete actions like seeking or extending forgiveness will enable us to do that.

Our last response is we need to prayerfully watch and persevere together. We cannot expect to live the Christian life on own. There are too many ruts. We need God and we need each other. God has given us prayer as the means for us to experience Spirit-filled lives together. Steve will pick up on the theme of prayer next week.

So I conclude with one of my favorite questions in sermons. Who cares? Who cares about all of this talk regarding standing strong together in the midst of a struggle that seeks to pull apart you from God and others. Who cares? I know one person who cares and that is Jesus. He cares. That’s why he wants you to care too.

What’s at stake is our very lives. Brothers and sisters, we do live in desperate times and there is not a lot out there that is seeking to build up your relationship with God and others.

That is why we emphasize home groups and other small groups so much here at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church. We are a “church of small groups” because we know from Scripture and from our life experience that the waves of life will knock us over unless we stand strong together. On this Labor Day weekend, consider how you can, in Paul’s words in v. 13 “do everything to stand” and that consideration must include a serious commitment or re-commitment to a small group in the coming year. We want to be people who overcome obstacles and live the Spirit-filled life that allows us be the friends, parents, children, employees and employers that we want to be. Friends, we cannot stand alone. We need to stand together.

I think back to when Doug and I would stare at the ocean waves and then look at each other and make the pact to stand together against the crashing waves. Today, we need to have a similar moment as we enter this coming year. Will we agree to stand strong together and do everything, by God’s grace, to make that happen?

As we transition now to the Lord’s Supper, we enter into this time knowing that we are one body. Praise God that he did not leave us alone to take on these challenges. Christ is not dead but he is alive and he wants to help us stand strong together. He is the unchanging God whose promises never fail and he promised that he would be always be with us. We are one body and during this time we should not only consider our own lives but also how we interact with the rest of the body of Christ, especially those whom we need to forgive or be seek forgiveness from. May we be strengthened again as we continue to consider how we indeed can stand strong together here at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church and wherever God has called us to share his grace with the world.

Brothers and sisters, let’s stand strong together.

Starting at the "top"

2007-08-30T20:38:00.000-04:00

I read in some book (a very important one) that the way to be first is to be last and to be great a person must be a servant. I also have heard about that the one thing that matters is faith expressing itself through love (Galatians 5:6).

Today, the two came together as the staff at the church with whom I am serving came over to paint rooms in our new home. We covered (2 coats of paint) our dining room area, living room area, main hallway, and front stairway in less than 5 hours! The joy came not merely from the fact that these walls were painted but instead from the fact that I could accomplish a task together with some great new friends and colleagues. The same job would have taken me and Laurie days.

I am once again overwhelmed by God's grace that came through these wonderful people. I am a small groups pastor and I saw today how my small group (church staff) expressed its faith through love by sacrificing time, energy and a beautiful Seattle day (80 degrees and no clouds) to make me and Laurie feel more at home.

The "top" (the church staff) showed its greatness by being willing to serve. I am privileged to be a part of a group of individuals who together make up a team with that mindset shaped by Christ.

Error Code 20

2007-08-21T01:20:00.000-04:00

No pictures for this post... just an error code that I received from my good friends who live 54 minutes from me at Microsoft. That is what I just received from trying to sign up for something through MS. Forget about it!

You can only sell...

2007-08-18T02:08:00.000-04:00

This picture brought back memories of my sales days with a startup company years ago. The sales funnel was always on my mind. I started in software development but I was moved to sales because I loved interacting with new people.

Years ago, a close friend who also happened to work at that same startup company as me shared a basic but profound insight. He said, "You can not sell something unless you have experienced the value yourself." In that case, we were talking about an enterprise engineering (really project) management software application. We both tried to locate specific examples of value in the product and then we based our interactions with customers on those areas.

Tonight, I experienced the value of small groups in a fresh way. I haven't been part of a small group in years. I participated in a prayer group at seminary but it wasn't what I would consider a fully functioning small group.

I gathered with a group tonight and we experienced the best of getting together in the name of Christ.

- introductions with life stories
- a well led discussion on a hard-hitting topic based in Scripture
- a leader who guided the discussion and knew what he was doing
- differing opinions and follow-up points
- good food
- a prayer time that included honest sharing from the heart
- laughter and a "buzz" of excitement during the hang-time afterwards
- new perspectives that wouldn't come on my own
- a sense of mission and purpose in why God had called the group together (beyond an inward focus)

I walked away energized and ready to continue in what God has called me to do - to encourage, lead and equip disciples in community to engage our Internet-driven culture with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I experienced the value.

I want to share that value (sell it) and invite others to enter into God's working and life-giving influence (or the kingdom of God).

Two hours

2007-08-17T01:41:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I had my first official "meeting" with a few members of Maple Valley Presbyterian Church or as some of my friends like to call it "MVP" church.

Tonight, I remembered why I sensed the call into full time church ministry. I love Jesus Christ and I love seeing God at work in the lives of real people. I came into the meeting expecting to hear some stories and to get a glimpse of the small group ministry at this church. I encountered SO much more than that admittedly small expectation.

I encountered people who are passionate about God because they have experienced God's grace in their lives and they want to share that grace with everyone.
I encountered people who do not want to "play church" but want to truly participate in God's mission here and now.
I encountered people who have been praying for months and years for the person who was going to fill the position in which I am serving.
I encountered people who have convictions and they are willing to sacrifice in order to live by them.
I encountered people who care.
I encountered people who expect God to do amazing things because God has shown up in the past, God shows up in the present, and God will show up in the future.

I encountered people who encouraged me and set the bar high for me (and that is exactly what I needed tonight).

The only issue is they want and expect me to "convert" to being a Seattle Seahawk fan and that is going to take more than a miracle!

I am refreshed, challenged, and humbled by what is before me but that is exactly when God has used me in ways that I could not have imagined in the past. I'm looking forward to whatever the Lord Jesus Christ wants to do in and through me going forward.

Go Seahawks?

First Day...

2007-08-13T02:03:00.000-04:00

In many ways, I feel like it is the night before my first day of school. I haven't felt like this in years. I didn't really get this type of feeling before I started at Princeton Seminary but I have "that" feeling tonight.

I start at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church tomorrow morning and I have a mixed feeling of being nervous and ready to go all at the same time. I helped lead in worship this morning and my family was introduced to the congregation. I really have no idea what it will feel like tomorrow. I have a set of initial tasks to complete right away but most of my day will be spent making phone calls and initial connections.

Let's see what happens... here comes the next chapter, stay tuned for some details.

Feeling great.... for a moment

2007-08-10T01:02:00.000-04:00

The picture above shows the outcome of my toilet fixing experience today - CRACKED!

I have never been a big "house project" guy. In fact, I have many memories of wanting to climb into a hole whenever my Dad would call me out to garage to put anything together. I mean ANYTHING.

Laurie and I bought our first house after our wedding 6+ years ago. I put my best effort at a variety of projects. My most rewarding moment was installing a garage door opener (later, it almost collapsed and smashed our cars). I learned a lot from a neighbor who demonstrated great patience with me and he taught me some basic things.

Years later (now), I am a home owner again and I have been taking on all kinds of projects the past few days. I have actually enjoyed all of them and my confidence has been growing every day. Today, I decided to fix the toilet in the girls' bathroom and I took on the task with a sure plan. In fact, I replaced the entire inside and everything was working perfectly.

I felt great...

until I tightened the handle with one more turn of the wrench and then the entire back part cracked and water spilled out everywhere.

I went from a super high to a super low.

I called one of the men who helped me earlier in the week for advice. He encouraged me by saying, "Jeff, we all have to start somewhere. At least you are trying, there is a lot to say for that. You will never make that same mistake again and you should see the crack as a positive and not as a negative."

A great word from a wise man. In many ways, he described discipleship with those words. As followers of Christ, we all have to start somewhere. I know that I have "cracked many toilets" in my faith journey and I'm sure that I will crack a few more in the next week as I start at Maple Valley Presbyterian.

Anyone else have some "home-improvement" stories to share?

Beyond Comprehension

2007-08-07T01:11:00.000-04:00

Today, 7 men from Maple Valley Presbyterian Church showed up at my new home to help with numerous projects. In addition, a person coordinated the donation of some appliances that arrived earlier in the week. I witnessed some of the greatest serving hearts today. The group took on project after project without any questions or concerns. They were there to help and they wouldn't take no for answer. One member stayed with one project for over an hour even though he should have given up after 10 minutes. One helper put so much effort into the work that he split his jeans!!!

I am in awe of God's grace in my life and I saw it manifested in the form of new friends today. In many ways, I realized just how selfish I am with my time and how I need to answer the call of obedience in my life when others need help.

I was humbled today by the help of some faithful followers of Christ.
I was freshed today by the some faithful followers of Christ.
I was definitely helped by some faithful followers of Christ.

Now it is my turn to be faithful with what God has given me to do...

When was the last time you experienced God's grace in a manner that was beyond comprehension?

We made it!

2007-08-06T00:05:00.000-04:00

My family made it across the country yesterday with little to zero issues. I am in awe of how God provided for us throughout the journey. Both Cambria and Avery experienced the trip as an adventure as opposed to a long, arduous disaster. We flew out of Washington Dulles at 4:30, connected through Chicago and arrived in Seattle at 9 PM PST.

The main issue was the connection in Chicago. Once again, I realized how much I am still unable to determine how long an event takes with two little children. We stopped to eat a 'quick' dinner in the food court but by the time it was all said and done we were the last ones to board our flight. That is not an issue if you are single and alone. For us, however, that meant that I had to carry the carseat (for Avery) all the way to the back of the plane and I probably was "that guy" who knocked no less than 5 people in the head with it. I was sweating profusely and extremely embarrassed (and guilt-ridden because I didn't even consider the ramifications of choosing my chicken quesadilla over an early boarding).

Who helped us out? Two Mormon missionaries gave up their seats so that Laurie and the girls could sit together. I sat numerous rows ahead of them and ended up checking on them periodically throughout the flight. By God's grace, both girls fell asleep and Laurie was able to enjoy her Harry Potter book.

I may have spent multiple years refuting the legitimacy of Joseph Smith as a true prophet but that didn't matter a bit when the two LDS missionaries stepped up to help us in a time of need. I have something to learn from that... Don't we all?

We are now in Maple Valley, WA and our moving truck arrives tomorrow (Monday). The events are moving quickly but they are going really well.

These are not the normal 'thoughts as i go' because they do not relate to theology, the church, or small group ministries but these reflections describe the pressing moments at hand.

Moving (finally)

2007-08-03T23:07:00.000-04:00

Saturday 8/4 finally brings the flight to Maple Valley. Laurie, Cambria, Avery, me and Laurie's Mom Linda are taking off from Dulles Airport at 4:30 PM and arriving in Seattle near 9 PM PST.

We have been giving 150% for weeks, months, years and now we are finally making the transition out to the Pacific Northwest. Today, I had mixed feelings regarding the change. On the one hand, I definitely will miss my extended family and the opportunities to see friends without any major flight plans. I honestly have no idea just how much the change will impact me but that is a risk that I was willing to take when I decided to ask God to "send me wherever he wanted to send me."

On the other hand, I cannot wait to start at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church. The excitement has been brewing for months and today I feel like it has gone to the next level. I am excited about starting fresh with my family in a new place. I am excited about what God has called me to at MVPC. I am excited about encouraging, leading and equipping small group leaders. I am excited about following Christ along with Laurie in a new place.

I am moving (finally)...

See you on the other side of the U.S.

The Next Chapter

2007-07-28T23:14:00.000-04:00

The title of this post, "The Next Chapter," doesn't refer directly to the next movie or book in the Harry Potter series. In fact, I am about to transition into my next chapter of life. Tomorrow, I will be officially ordained as a pastor in the Presbyterian Church (USA) denomination. The process has taken over 3 years to complete and I have had more than enough time to examine my sense of call and be examined by others. I am in awe of how much has happened in the last 3 years.

Last night, I went to see Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix with Laurie. I am not a massive Harry Potter fan but I have enjoyed the movies (one day I'll read the books after I finish Church Dogmatics).

I really enjoyed last night's movie. I particularly connected with the scene when Harry Potter takes aside a group of students who want to go beyond theory and head knowledge. They come together to practice spells and to prepare for actual battles.

I couldn't help but connect with the parallel in my life now because I am about to transition from seminary to full-time church ministry. In many ways, I have been in the world of theory without connecting with the real world. I am anticipating numerous new friends and colleagues but also many challenges.

The last aspect of last night's movie that hit home with me was the theme of fighting for something worthwhile. I am convinced more than ever that my next chapter of life is worth the energy and effort. I have no idea just how much my life will change but I have been told to be ready.

Movies like Harry Potter and numerous other ones that feature a character who must step up to challenges help me refocus my energy toward the challenges ahead.

The next chapter is about to begin...

Computer Machine Language = Statement of Faith?

2007-07-23T20:18:00.000-04:00

Last week, I went out to Seattle for my ordination examination on the Seattle Presbytery floor. I had a healthy dose of nervousness as the time approached but I also was confident that I could respond to questions about my beliefs and life experiences.

One of the requirements for the Presbyterian church ordination is to write a statement of faith and respond to questions about the content. I decided to write a straightforward statement without any flowery analogies or sentimental word pictures. One of my goals was to present my beliefs in a way that would allow for questions about the content and then my response in the form of stories that described how my beliefs translate into real, everyday life.

As I reflected on my approach, my mind jumped to my former occupation of software development. My main area of expertise was user-interface design. My goal in that area was always to create a presentation layer so that any person could use the computer application without being tied down by the details that went on "behind the scenes."

In many ways, my response to theological questions often follows the same sequence, meaning that I often know the "machine language" underneath but my responses to questions are more "user-friendly" than simply stating the Nicene Creed or my statement of faith. I have a long way to go on this but I am learning how to do it.

Here is my statement of faith that I shared with the Seattle Presbytery last week:

I believe in the triune God whom Scripture bears witness as the God of history with the people of Israel and the God of the new covenant with all humanity in Jesus Christ. By the Holy Spirit human persons are incorporated into Christ and receive adoption as children of God. The confession of the triune God summarizes the witness of Scripture of God’s immeasurable love incarnate in Jesus Christ and experienced and celebrated by the Spirit in the community of faith, the church. The triune God provides the gift of justification by grace through faith in the form of a new identity in Christ and the grace for the community to grow into that identity. Just as the Father sent the Son, and the Father and Son send the Holy Spirit, the triune God sends the church into the world to bear witness to the gospel and serve all people.

I believe in God the Father who created the heavens and the earth and sustains all creation. God chose Abraham and his seed to be blessed in order to be a blessing to the nations. God liberated Israel from Egypt and sent prophets to remind Israel of their covenantal responsibilities. In the fullness of time, God sent his Son not to condemn the world but to save it.

I believe in Jesus Christ who is the Son of God, both fully God and fully human, and he is the image of the invisible God. He was sent in order to destroy the power of sin and death. He reconciled humanity to God through his sinless life, atoning death on the cross, and resurrection. The person and work of Jesus Christ opened the covenant to Gentiles. I believe that he ascended to heaven where he sits at God’s right hand in power as the mediator for each believer and as Lord over all. I believe that Jesus Christ will come again to judge humanity and to consummate his reign.

I believe in the Holy Spirit who was sent as the promised gift who convicts the world with regard to sin, righteousness and judgment. The Holy Spirit regenerates the believer and then sanctifies the believer by transforming them into the likeness of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit reveals truth through the witness of Scripture to Jesus Christ.

I believe that the church, led by the Spirit, exists to bear witness to Jesus Christ through the preaching of the Word, administration of the sacraments, and serving others.

I believe that the Bible is the written Word of God that bears witness to Jesus Christ. The Bible is inspired and authoritative in all matters of life and faith.

I believe that Baptism and the Lord’s Supper are sacraments that function as both signs and the means of God’s grace toward sinners.

I believe in God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are one God in three distinct personal expressions who are working together for the reconciliation of humanity to God and to one another. This triune God sends the covenant people to be witnesses of the gospel to the world in word and deed.

For many, that statement may seem like theological "machine language" but the content underlies my worldview shaped by Jesus Christ.

Confession and Crazy Story....

2007-07-21T12:33:00.000-04:00

I have to make a public confession on this blog. It has been long overdue. Some of my closest friends already know this about me but I have been hiding it for years. Here it is... I enjoy pop music. I really do. In fact, I haven't fully embraced my fanaticism for it in years due to lack of money and exposure to new music.

My confession goes all the way back to the early 80s when I clearly remember listening to Billie Jean and Thriller and dancing around the room with my sister. Years later, Backstreet Boys and N' Sync made their mark. I am not going to reveal other friends who encouraged me to embrace the sounds of pop but they all know who they are (can't argue with the hits?)

Well, recently I stumbled upon a song that I can't get out of my head. It was listed as iTunes top song for weeks and I eventually bought it after hearing it on American Idol. The song is Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5.

Cambria and Avery love the song. In fact, they bounce around to it all the time.

Now here is the crazy story.

I took Cambria (4 yrs old) on a walk yesterday on the canal path near our Princeton apartment. We were mostly walking in silence with an intermittent comment about the color of the berries or the turtles on the trees in the canal. At one point, "Makes Me Wonder" started playing in my head and I began to walk at the same pace of the song.

A few seconds later, Cambria said from the stroller, "Hey Daddy, that sounds like Maroon 5 when you walk that way." I said, "What do you mean?" and she said "The ground sounds like Maroon 5 when you walk that way."

I have been blown away by funny comments from Cambria before but this one was a little more than I could handle. How did that happen? Are we really in tune that much to the same music that she could identify "Makes Me Wonder" from the rhythm of my walk???

Footprints in the sand?

2007-07-11T19:57:00.000-04:00

You may be thinking that I am going to quote the poem about the footprints in the sand. I actually still like that poem and find myself encouraged by it at points in my life. The poem reminds me of a song that often sounds overplayed but every once and awhile I find enjoyment in listening to it.

This post is about a different set of footprints. Yesterday, Laurie and I went for a run together for the first time in our marriage. We have run on our own at various points but we have never run together. We ran on the sand in the Outer Banks right next to the ocean, right into the wind. It was a blast!

One of the challenges given to us at our wedding by the pastor was to find ways to have fun together, especially when we have kids. This sounds like an obvious idea but the stresses of raising children have made that simple challenge elusive.

Yesterday, I felt like I discovered a different part of my wife and about us together. Our "footprints in the sand" involves both of us running on the beach, encouraging each other not to give up. That is a good basis for a poem too, right?

Unexpected Gifts

2007-06-02T10:25:00.000-04:00

I set my alarm this morning for 6 AM in order to get some time by myself for reading and prayer. My youngest daughter Avery must have read my mind because she beat me to the wake-up at 5:30 or so. I ended up having some time of silence and prayer on a walk all around the neighborhood. I was reminded that sometimes God gives unexpected gifts even when it appears that they were taken away. I probably prayed more for Avery during that walk than I have in all of 2007.

I was also reminded of the necessity of prayer this morning during my reading for Company of New Pastors. I read two questions in the PC(USA) study catechism about prayer. I experienced many aspects of the first of the two questions this morning.

Question 120. What is prayer?

Prayer means calling upon God whose Spirit is always present with us. In prayer we approach God with reverence, confidence, and humility. Prayer involves both addressing God in praise, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication, and listening for God's word within our hearts.

When we adore God, we are filled with wonder, love and praise before God's heavenly glory, not least when we find it hidden in the cross of Golgotha.

When confessing our guilt to God, we ask for forgiveness with humble and sorry hearts, remembering that God is gracious as well as holy.

When giving thanks to God, we acknowledge God's great goodness, rejoicing in God for all that is so wonderfully provided for us.

Finally, when calling upon God to hear our requests, we affirm that God draws near in every need and sorrow of life, and ask God to do so again.

Psalm 96:8-9 Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; bring an offering and come into his courts. Worship the Lord in holy splendor; tremble before him, all the earth.

Returning and Being Sent...

2007-05-12T22:29:00.000-04:00

Everyone who knows me understands that I gravitate towards the dramatic. I have always loved being swept up into a story, especially when I sense that God is clearly at work in the story. I am clearly in one of those times right now.

10 years ago, I accepted a job offer to work at Microsoft for a summer. The summer of 1997 was full of adventure and challenges. I seemingly went to work for a software company but I was actually sent to start an intern Bible study and let God work miracles through me. I witnessed God show up in ways that still make my jaw drop when I consider them. That small group and all of the surrounding prayers and relationships showed me how powerful a prayerful group can impact the world for Jesus Christ. After that summer, I could have taken a job at Microsoft the following year but I opted to return to the east coast to work for an IT company in Virginia.

One of my favorite prayer locations that summer was Gasworks park on Lake Union. I often found myself standing by the water looking over the city of Seattle and praying for the city, that God would show up and change lives through his amazing grace. The picture above was taken recently at that exact prayer spot.

10 years later, I now have accepted a call to serve at Maple Valley Presbyterian Church to serve as an associate pastor for small groups. I talked with the chairperson of the search committee last night and we both expressed our wholehearted enthusiasm for where the Lord has brought us. I had no idea that my initial training as a small group leader with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at UVA followed by an incredible time with small groups at Frontline Ministries (McLean Bible Church) followed by a young adult community startup (WatersEdge @ Leesburg Community Church) and then Princeton Seminary would lead to this...

I am returning to Seattle! On the one hand, I can't believe it. On the other hand, it seems to fit exactly what God has been doing in my life all along. I am returning and being sent to Seattle at the same time.

Last weekend, Laurie and I visited the church for the weekend and we sensed a clear calling to serve with the congregation of Maple Valley Presbyterian Church. There are still steps to be completed in order for me to be officially installed as an associate pastor there but I am well on my way.

Wow! That is word that comes to mind. Followed by "Praise the Lord for his unending grace and guidance in my life. You, O Lord, have taken that which is broken and made it into your vessel for noble purposes. Use me as your instrument to serve others and bring everyone I encounter into contact with your amazing grace, your Son Jesus Christ, who knows what truly is best for us and then provides that grace to make it happen."

I will finish this entry with the Psalm that I read before the phone interview with Maple Valley a few weeks ago... I picked up my Bible and prayed through the following before they called.

Psalm 37:3-7
Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pature. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Missional (Small) Groups

2007-04-28T08:53:00.000-04:00

I am about to embark on a 30 page writing adventure. In many ways, I have preparing to write this paper for over 15 years. I also see this project as the foundation for further reflections that will truly last a lifetime. The subject of the study is small group ministry. I have been involved with a zillion different small group ministries ever since I became a Christian during my freshman year in high school. I have seen all kinds of approaches and emphases. I can't say that I have seen one perfect model but I have seen God work in and through these ministries to change lives.

This paper is the intersection of my small group ministry experience and my studies in missional theology. I could go into a full description of my understanding of missional theology here but that would make this post longer than any human would care to read (it may already be that long). All that matters right now is, in my view, a missional church is one that does not exist for itself but is called together, equipped and sent out to the world to accomplish God's purposes together.

All of the small group literature that I read in the past semester pointed to small groups following the pattern of their churches, namely, existing for themselves. Small groups are often described as places for community where individuals become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. This is true. However, I will borrow a phrase from one of my professors George Hunsinger and say that this description is necessary but not sufficient. Small groups exist for more than community and personal growth.

To be fair, the small group books that I have read do include service or mission as a component of small groups. Over and over, however, I see two extremes with this assertion. On the one extreme, a group exists only to do a specific act of service such as repairing cars for people in the church. These groups lack the Christian practices that contribute to the group's spiritual formation. On the other extreme, a group exists for community and service/mission "spills over" from the group after the group arrives at a certain level of intimacy or growth. These groups rarely move beyond an internal focus and end up splitting up or staying a comfortable level.

I suggest that a group can seek the Lord's face in discovering its specific mission apart from these two extremes. I believe that the Lord calls individuals together in a local church to fulfill a specific mission in that local context. The church community provides relationships that encourage spiritual formation for that mission. In the midst of this, I believe the Lord can work through smaller groups of 8-12 individuals to allow them to discover their specific vocation in the local church and, therefore, in the church overall. Churches often talk about the individual's vocation or sense of calling and the entire church's mission/vision but this can and should occur also at the small group level.

In light of this, I propose that God uses small groups to provide the context for missional formation where the group grows into fully devoted followers of Christ not for themselves but for being used by God to fulfill its specific mission in the world as long as they are called together to serve.

Let's see if I can capture these ideas in a more rigorous manner as I embark on 30 pages of writing!

"The" Spirit

2007-04-18T23:24:00.000-04:00

I have noticed a pattern in my readings that may already be known to others but I just recognized it. If a person wants to make a claim about the Christian faith apart from the restraints of Scripture or Christ himself, then they oftentimes refer to "The Spirit." An example sounds something like this, "The Spirit leads communities to consider truth differently than viewed previously."

On the other hand, I have observed that these types of claims are minimized when the reference to the Holy Spirit relates directly to its source and giver, namely, Jesus Christ. These references take the form of "His Spirit" or "the Spirit of Christ."

This may or may not happen 100% of the time but next time you hear or read someone refer to "The Spirit" as opposed to "His (Jesus') Spirit" then check to see how that reference functions in the person's claim about God, humanity and the relationships in the world.

In my view, I would rather hear someone talk about "His (Jesus') Spirit" as opposed to "The Spirit" that stands alone and apart from Jesus Christ.

Quiet Haircut?

2007-04-18T13:47:00.000-04:00

I went to get a haircut this morning (yes, I have yet to figure out why my frequency of haircuts has increased as my amount of hair coverage has decreased) and I found myself wondering why it was so quiet.

I then realized that something was missing from the room:

The haircut place is moving locations and they already had moved the TVs to the new place. The room was eerily quiet and I pointed out the lack of noise to the person cutting my hair. She shared that she did miss the TVs and then she continued with an analysis of TVs in general. She noted how many TVs she sees throughout the day... at work, at the grocery store, at waiting areas in hospitals, at restaurants, everywhere.

We then talked about how quickly we look at TVs whenever they are present. Our response is almost instinctive. I rarely can keep my eyes off of a TV whenever it is on, especially if sports are on in the background. Earlier this morning, I turned on the TV and I witnessed my two daughters automatically look up at it. They have already mastered the response.

Have you ever been in the presence of a TV and NOT looked at it?

If not, then what does that reveal about the pull of TV in our lives?

The "Perfect" Parable

2007-04-09T23:01:00.000-04:00

I am taking a class this semester that I have wanted to take my whole life - a class on the parables of Jesus. I like to tell stories and I have always been attracted to Jesus' parables. For most of my life, I have approached the parables with the assumption that I could figure them out like a puzzle. Oftentimes, there seems to be a "key" to the puzzle. One parable that has always eluded me is the parable of the "shrewed manager" in Luke 16:1-9 (or 13 depending on where you think the parable ends).

I will write more in the future about why I believe this could be considered the "perfect parable" but I will share one reason now. Try to assign roles to the different characters in the parable and you will quickly realize that a person cannot figure out this parable by taking that route. The rich man cannot be God because then you would have to say that God praises a dishonest manager. The manager cannot be Jesus because then you would have to say that Jesus uses dishonest methods to justify the means and, consequently, we should too.

What should we do with this parable? One thing is certain. We cannot sit down and attempt to unlock this parable by assigning roles and then figure out exactly what Jesus wants us to do or figure out more about God through these roles.

What have you "done" with this parable in the past?

If you can't answer this question easily, then that helps make my point that this could be the perfect parable.

Simply Connected

2007-03-08T10:22:00.000-05:00

I played Halo 2 with some friends over XBox live for a few hours on Tuesday night. I was reminded of how much a few simple gifts in the past 7 years has changed everything. Video games systems bring limitless opportunities for contagious community. One of the many bits of wisdom that I have picked over the years is that community forms around shared memories. I would add that, for men, community flourishes around shared memories and nicknames that come out of those memories.

I haven't researched this statement but I believe that Jesus was one of the first recorded nickname-givers in history. Simon became the "rock" (not the people's champion), James and John became the "sons of thunder." God has been in the business of changing names from the beginning. In many ways, the newly given names point to who the persons will become as they fulfill God's calling on their lives.

That was a side comment on nicknames, now back back to memories. In April 1999, I received a Nintendo 64 from a friend in my small group and we started playing Mario Kart after every small group gathering. Quickly, the competition became intense. Every night, new memories were created because no two races were the same. Every time we played together was a unique event.

Years later, my wife bought me an XBox for my birthday and the game of choice was Halo. Once again, I hosted numerous gatherings of playing Halo with friends. The XBox took playing to the next level because my friends and I could connect boxes and get as many as 16 players together. The "Halo Fests" were some of the sweetest times of friends getting together. One aspect of the fun was the nicknames that came out of playing together. Each player creates a player profile with the name and quickly we began to change how we referred to one another. Gregg became "Maximus" and Jeff became "Julio" and etc..

Years later, and this brings us to the present time, I played Halo 2 over XBox live with friends from multiple chapters of my life. In fact, there were additional players who were invited in by other friends too. In one game was a friend from UVA (and also afterwards), a friend from a small group right out of college, a friend from a church after I got married, a neighbor from my old neighborhood in Virginia, another common friend, and a brother of my friend from UVA.

We couldn't have orchestrated that gathering even if we tried. The community continues on and the memories are being made, and yes, more nicknames are being given...

Early mornings

2007-03-06T12:03:00.000-05:00

I can barely remember the days before the kids when I would set my alarm in order to wake up to read Scripture and pray. I still read Scripture and pray but I often have Dora the Explorer yelling in the background.

This morning, I was able to get some time alone at 6 AM. My "routine" reflects my love for reading Scripture and reflecting on what I hear. Recently, I have been reading from the lectionary along with others in the Company of New Pastors. I decided to start on my own this morning with a reading from Psalm 119. Psalm 119:45 says "I will walk about in freedom for I have sought out your precepts." I composed the following prayer after reading and rereading this verse.

Holy and Gracious Lord, you are the source of freedom and lover of my life, you have given me your precepts as a source of life, may you grant me the grace to follow them so that I may walk about in freedom, for your name's sake, Amen.

What does it look like and feel like to "walk about in freedom" throughout the day? I can honestly say that right now I am experiencing that reality.

I have heard a lot of criticism, whether direct or indirect, about "personal piety" during my time at Princeton Seminary. The comments often focus on "quiet times" just like the one that I described. To be fair, I agree with the criticism aimed at legalistic systems that lead to individuals feeling like they have performed their Christian duty. The criticism that I have heard, however, often focused on the act itself of "spending time with the Lord."

In my view, spending time with the Lord is life-giving and the best way to begin a day. I don't know about you but I would like to be a person who "walks about in freedom."

How do you respond when you hear say that they had a "quiet time" or "spend some time time with the Lord" this morning?

The Discipline of Silence

2007-02-28T12:31:00.000-05:00

I carved out a few hours this morning to take a prayer walk near Lake Carnegie. I still remember the first time that I rode my bike out the canal path and arrived at the lake. I couldn't believe how close I lived to an open area of beauty. I have always been one to search for my "spots" and to go there for times of silence. Almost all of my favorite spots in the past were near bodies of water.

Today, I took some time to simply be quiet before God. I was reminded last night in reading Karl Barth's Church Dogmatics IV.3.2 part 1 of how humans evade God and do everything to avoid being encountered by his living Word. I opened my time of prayer asking God to encounter me and to open my heart up to his address. I needed to hear from God, especially after a jam-packed month of February that has featured more than I can begin to document here.

The time of silence was exactly what I needed. I toggled between moments of silence and simple prayers for my family, my future, and my openness to God's Word in my life. At one point, I was walking on the path and I realized that I was listening to my own breathing. How often do I actually slow down enough or remove distractions so that I end up focusing on my own breathing? Rarely. After today, I remembered why I need to carve out intentional times of silence.

Three words...

2007-02-22T21:09:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I turned around and looked at Avery. She looked back at me and mouthed three sounds that sounded like "I love you." She then blew me a few kisses. I was absolutely floored. She has never done anything like that before. She has smiled, she has hugged me but she has never voiced "I love you."

I have probably told her 3940830948 times that I love her. For her to initiate the same words back to me was nothing short of pure love. I guess this is a small sample of what God must feel when we express our love back to him.

When is the last time you expressed your love for God? When is the last time you simply said "I love you" to God?

This reflection may not be what I talk about at seminary every day but the profound truth behind this experience outweighs all the volumes of books that I have read and more.

Image of God and Small Groups

2007-02-21T15:57:00.000-05:00

I can't even begin to count the number of times I have heard this, "God is a God in community and therefore as humans created in God's image we are made for community." The line of thinking behind this statement is that God is one God in three persons who are eternally in relationship in what Christian's call the Trinity. The description of humans, male and female, created in the image of God has garnered a variety of interpretions. For many small group ministries, the theological foundation for small groups is the notion of "God in community" and therefore we are 'wired' for community.

I have to admit that I have harbored skepticism every time I have heard this interpretation of the image of God and humanity's desire for relationship. I haven't been able to put my finger on it until recently. My main skepticism stems from the fact that I do not believe that this goes far enough. Are small groups only supposed to be meant to be "in community" for themselves? I can already hear the quick response of small groups do service projects both inside and outside the church community. This is true but does that find its foundation in "God in community."

I believe that the Trinity is more than simply "God in community." My guess is that everyone would say that they agree with that statement but I want to draw out a specific idea. My understanding of the Trinity doesn't start with trying to diagram or mathematically posit the relationships between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit apart from what is revealed in Scripture. I have heard many try to liken the Trinity to water (one substance) with three forms (ice, water, steam) but one of the many problems with this approach is this view starts with human thoughts about physical entities as opposed to what is revealed in Scripture.

Starting with Scripture, the Triniatarian relationships are revealed in the Bible as the Father sending the Son and the Father and the Son sending the Holy Spirit and the relationships between them. What is the purpose of this sending? There are many reasons but the primary reason is for God to rescue humanity from sin (salvation) through Jesus Christ and then to establish his people as the church through the Holy Spirit. From there, the church is sent into the world to participate in God's ongoing mission of reconcilation until Christ comes again.

Small groups are gatherings of individuals by God for community but ALSO to be sent out in mission to whomever God puts them in contact. The foundation for this understanding isn't a desire for more service projects but the very nature of God as a God who sends and accomplishes his Word (which does not return void). This Word is Jesus Christ who embodies the reconciliation between humanity and God and we are gathered together as groups (small groups, local churches, the entire body of Christ) to accomplish this mission.

The next time you hear someone say that we are wired for relationships because we are created in the image of God and God is a "God in community," ask yourself or the speaker, "What do you see as the purpose of that community?" If the answer falls somewhere in the arena of fulfilling God's unique mission for that community in its specific time and place then I believe a fuller picture of the meaning of community has been considered.

Greatness

2007-02-20T09:50:00.000-05:00

There are few great individuals in the world. I knew one and she was my Aunt Dorothy. Aunt "Dottie" was an inspiration to more people than I can begin to count. She died last night after a long struggle with a series of complications in her body. I just took an hour to type whatever came to my mind about this amazing woman. The one thing that I will share here is that she inspired me years ago to jump from my first job at a medium-sized consulting firm to a start-up company. She told a story about how much her, my Dad, and the rest of their siblings had to fight in Chinatown in NY City to flourish and provide for their families. I do remember her mentioning how they had to take risks to make things happen. I don't remember the exact words she said but I remember thinking "I also have that DNA inside of me and I have a responsibility to own up to that and take risks in my life." I was reminded today by reflecting on her life just how fast life goes and how little time I have to own up to what God has given me to do. Aunt Dottie owned up to her responsibilities and she will always inspire me to own up to mine.

Busted...

2007-02-19T15:29:00.000-05:00

I have a habit of pointing out patterns that I find in presentations by speakers. This applies to preachers, teachers, seminar leaders, etc. I wrote my top list of repeated phrases a few months ago in a blog post. Phrases like "painting in broad strokes" and "unpack" made the list. In fact, I decided just for fun (my kind of ridiculous fun) to use those two phrases (back to back) during my chapel sermon last week.

My habit of pointing out things in sermons came back to bite me. Familiar words from Jesus in Mark 4:24 say "Consider carefully what you hear," he continued. "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more."

My measure - pointing out specifics in a sermon

Yesterday, I preached a sermon at my home church and I included what I thought was a throw-away line in the middle of the sermon. I said that salt is "what most of us relate to making food tasty or high cholesterol." I didn't think much of the line. I just wanted to put in a transition to the actual use of the term salt in Matthew 5.

A person pointed out to me later in the day that in fact salt causes high blood pressure not high cholesterol. My initial, internal defensive response was "is it that big of a deal that I said high cholesterol? is that the only thing you heard in the sermon?" Later on, after reading Mark 4:24, I reflected on the fact that my measure of pointing out specific parts of a sermon came back on me.

I am now starting to realize that all of my criticizing of things over the years in the church (poor leadership, specific sermon points, etc) will now be pointed at me as I enter full-time ministry. Writing a sermon, leading a church, doing anything as a full-time pastor is more difficult than I realized when I was a person who showed up on Sunday morning and had a lot of time to point out the problems without offering solutions...